Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ups and Downs

Today is the first day of the 5th month since the discovery of my kidney tumor. The last four months has been a very difficult journey for me. I take each day at a time as I do not know if I will wake up the next day. Although I have not had any new symptoms or persistent pain (I do get pain around the ribs once in a while), I am still in the dark as to my actual condition. In a way I could only guess from the condition of my body. Of course, I would want to be positive about it as feeling otherwise would not do any good.

I know everyone will die one day but knowing you can die anytime makes day to day living challenging. Sometimes when I experience a little pain here and there, the mind will be wondering if the cancer is now planting itself all over the body waiting to strike. I try not to think about it and perhaps the only way to confirm is to do another scan which is being planned on 1 March. Confirmation also has its drawback. What if the scan is negative? This waiting mind game continues to battle on every now and then but is more pronounced whenever any pain is being experienced.

Still I will not break and give up and continue to fight. Everyday that I wake up, is a day won. I believe I am still in positive territory. The support and encouragement that I get from you is unbelieveable and it also helps. Thank you.

1 comment:

  1. This comment come from a friend who known you for the last 40 years, so believe me.
    You are one tough cookie...not easy to beat you at all. If you think you are winning, you will. Take care.