Saturday, October 31, 2009

31 October 2009

How time files as we use to say. It's been 7 over weeks since this episode began for me. Two months is a short period for many but for cancer patients, they live in months, not years. So far, I am pleased to report that I have gain from strength to strength. My energy levels are up, my pain around the body has been reduced drastically and everyday I wake up to a fully charged day. I now work harder and longer than my working days because of the dietary regime that I have chosen. I believe this regime is also helping me to contain the problem inside me while waiting for my treatment to start next week. Yes, I have not been on any medication other than diet and supplements. Actually, that's good medicine because I only consume fresh organic vegetables and fruit juices throughout the day. Typically my food for the day:

0. 7.00am - Urine therapy
1. 7.10am - Breakfast (organic oats + raisins)
2. 7.30am, 9.30am, 12.30pm, 2pm, 5pm, 7pm & 9.30pm - fruit juice (carrot + green apple)
3. 1pm - lunch (organic brown rice + vegetables + sometimes ABC soup)
4. 8.30am, 11.30am, 4pm & 6pm - vegetable juices (lettuce + broccoli + red cabbage)
5. 6.30pm - dinner (same food as lunch)
6. 10am, 3pm & 8pm - coffee enema detox
7. 10pm - supper (same as breakfast)
8. In between - bananas, oranges, apricot seeds, corn, red apples, potatoes, sweet potatoes, tomatoes, carrots and rye bread.

Total calories: Not less than 3,500 calories (average required is 2,500 calories). Would have consumed about 15 lbs of fruits and vegetables per day!

Despite under such eating regime, weight gain is minimal. For the first time in my life, eat and not have to worry about weight gain.

I hope what I am doing is going to sustain me like it did for the thousands that followed the Gerson (and other similar) therapy over the last 75 years all over the world. However I have also supplemented with some other therapies like urine therapy, Vitamin B17 and soon to be Homeopathy. All these are complementary. Although the tumor in my kidney is large, the main concern are the nodules in the lungs. That area will determine whether I live or not because it interfere with the breathing. These therapies will be ongoing for the next 2 years but the critical period is the next 6 months. The idea is to get the tumor cells to go into regression and then control it by diet for the rest of my life. Of course, after two years, the diet can changed to be a bit more flexible with possible intake of fish and eggs. Other stuffs are also possible but it will be like once in few months or better still to avoid all together.

Friday, October 30, 2009

30 October 2009

I had plenty of time to reflect on my way down to Singapore. I had taken a bus instead of a flight because the time taken would be about the same. Furthermore I had special dietary requirements that necessitated me to prepare in advance my food and water that I will take along the way. Going by plane will not be so convenient to bring my own food and water. I was thinking whether I am doing is right or wrong? Many of my friends have introduced me to alternative treatment despite having read my blog. Does it mean I am missing out on something that they see and I don't?

So far, I found a number of books has promoted using dietary and nutrition for cancer treatment. Besides Gerson, Phillip Day's CANCER Why We're Still Dying To Know The Truth and Cherie Calbom and John Calbom's The Complete Cancer Cleanse are a few examples. In all these books, they have testimonies of people having being cured after being told by their doctors that conventional medicine cannot be of any used further. My brother Jon, a Christian also emailed me a site ( that use a nutritional diet which they called Hallelujah diet, apparently based on the Bible for which a priests cured himself of cancer in 1976. Again there are also many testimonies that the diet work for them. Of course I am happy to find so many sources that seems to support that plant nutrition diet is one of the ways to handle cancer treatment. JC, my ex-MPI colleague asked me to check on this website On the rightmost column, there was a caption that says "Ho, ho, ho --- give it a good clap. I love my doctors. They say I can eat anything I like. My cancer couldn't care less what I eat. Good news to the patients but bad news to their families because soon these people may end up all dead!" Of course, that statement was made according to the latest research done by Jeffrey Meyerhardt, M.D., MPH.(of Dana-Faber Cancer Institute - a principal teaching affiliate of the Harvard Medical School), as reported in Journal of the American Medical Association, 15 August 2007.

As I have said, my friends and even my family members were worried when I told them I would give alternative medicine treatment as the first choice. Despite some people having experience cancer through their love ones, I can say none could fathom what is happening on the mind of the patient. Cancer patients are so lost in their own problems that they have no idea what to do and leave it to the "experts". Of course not many would take out a book to read and find out. After all there is no motivation and we continue to depend on this doctor or that doctor giving talks on cancer. With due respect to the doctors, they all learned from the same source, so what do you expect to hear? Still many expect me to say I take chemo. Anything that harm my immune system no matter how good it can kill the cancel cells, it also kills the host. I have also taken time to explain to many who does not understand why this and not that because they have not read alternatives but continue to feed themselves with allopathic(or conventional) news. Who knows more than the doctor? There is no doubt that the doctor is well read. Unfortunately there are also other things that the doctor is not educated in, so how can he say this or that does not work? But I think this debate is pointless and academic.

In my situation, the important thing for me is to believe in a system (after due investigation) that is workable for me. That believe must also be strong. In an experiment, a women was given a drug and was told the drug would cause her hair to fall off. She did lose all her hair but the drug she was given was not medication but just flour. Because the person believes in so much of the drug, she made it happen, the cure is in the mind. This is also called a placebo effect. Many good things happened during faith healing where the mind is very pure. Some people called it miracle. Whatever it is, it is good and that is the first step towards healing.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

29 October 2009

I believe there is definitely some differences between the specialist doctors in Malaysia and that compared to Singapore. Qualifications aside, the approach are also different. The doctors in Singapore are much more well trained in counseling and also open minded. Their offer more options and perhaps more importantly the willingness to be open and listen to the patient is thinking that makes the big difference. To cut the story short, I think the trip was quite fruitful as I did not expect to get much out of it. The recommendation of both the oncologist and urologist is to remove the right kidney that contains the major tumor. The rationale is that the body would have lesser burden to deal with the lungs and perhaps the liver as well. The urologist felt that even if the liver is infected, it would serve no purpose to remove any of the cancel cells in the liver as the lungs are already infected. (My KL urologist justified not having surgery in that cutting the liver is complicated and I could die from the surgery.) After surgery to consider treatment with expensive drug that I said earlier that costs S$9k (RM20+K) per month. Unfortunately this drug has to be taken a lifetime and it seems it has been proven effective within a 2 year period, most likely to mean that it prolong the patient's life by at least 2 years. Every treatment cycle last for 6 weeks with 2 weeks break before the next cycle begins. So for a two year treatment, it would cost approximately S$54K (RM133+K). After that, depends on your luck if the tumor goes into remission or not. While on the drug, it has the impact of restricting or perhaps reduce its growth. The downside is that besides the side effect of while skin and hair, the body always feels lethargic.

When you talk about cancer, many people have read and some even have indirect experience with it through their love ones. However, unless you have cancer, you will never have any idea what goes on in the mind and can never put yourselves in their shoes to imagine what it is like. Such people have very difficult decisions to make. The doctors coupled with some who insists that this treatment is better than that. Some of us are so lost in our own problems that we leave it to the "experts" to select the choice of treatment. All my friends who tells me about people they know and suffer from cancer had only one ending. Death! They normally go for conventional treatment and when that didn't work they went for alternative, most of them died within the year. There is a saying if you want a different outcome, then you must do things differently. That's why some of my friends and even my close family members at one point in time was so worried about my choice to go alternative treatment as the first choice. My Singapore oncologist after confirmation with the radiologist told me that my nodules in my lungs did not grow and in fact shrunk a little bit. This is good news and this is also why he recommended me to remove the tumor in my kidney. With lesser burden to deal by the immune system, there is good opportunity to contain or even shrink the nodules in the lungs. Whatever that I am doing now is the right because the oncologist had expected it to grow but it did not. My oncologist has advised to watch my weight to ensure I don't lose further weight and also get enough calories and not so much protein. My 11 cups of 8oz juices per day yields about 3,500 calories while the average intake per day is 2,500 (based on American standards). The Gerson is one therapy that allows me to eat whenever I am hungry, even in the middle of the night! They even recommend we leave apples and vegetables beside the bedside so that we can eat whenever we want.

Well I am not asking that you to follow what I am doing or that is the right thing to do. I am just sharing with you my experience and some of the thought process. You know, following the Gerson therapy is not easy. While you may have a maid to prepare the 11-13 juices a day (and boil the coffee) but you can't have your maid assist you to do the coffee enema (unless you are female). You see, I am naked when I do the coffee enema and it is very difficult to hold for even 5 mins. Also eating no salt, oil and sugar organic and vegetarian diet is not everyone's cup of tea. In fact it is still very difficult for me after one month. Since I am preparing it on my own, I am experimenting it with different vegetables to improve the natural flavour. That's why when things are so simple in principle, it is always so difficult to follow.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

28 October 2009

Today, I will be making a trip down to Singapore to see the oncologist tomorrow and then the urologist to get a second opinion based on the second scan results. Although I have made up my mind for the treatment, surgery is still an option if the tumor becomes life threatening. Further having alternative treatment, one must still be friendly with the oncologist as I will need to meet him periodically to review my progress through scans.

I want to share to you something about juicing that I have been talking about. Actually there are a number of therapy out there that recommends juicing but the Gerson is one of them that not only explain why juicing is important but also provide a how to guide. First off, just six months ago when my friend's wife was suggesting to get a juicer for RM1,600 I laugh her off. My juicer that I just bought costs only RM2,600. Why the sudden change? This is because of my ignorance. Why do you juice in the first place? You must learn to calculate the ROI on juicer to make it easier for you to decide. Is there a ROI? You bet. Let say you juice twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening and every time you use 2 apples. Say each apple costs RM0.75. You have four in the family. So your cost of juicing per day is RM12. My friend Nik asked me why is it that the moment his wife juice out the apple juice, it turned into light brown. By the way, that means the juice has just oxdised, lost all the nutrients and enzymes. You are just drinking water with an apple flavour. There is a trick you can do though. Put it some ice cubes that will slow down a little of the oxidation but the bulk of the nutrients and enzymes are gone. Basically RM12 wasted per day. Multiply it by 365 days and you will get RM4,389. With your juicer costing RM2,600 your ROI is just 217 days. Not only that, you body will get all the nutrients and enzymes that you want to help you lead a healthier life. So would you rather spend RM250 on those centrifugal juicer? A check on the Internet would reveal even more reasons.

This posting will be brief and I will try and update if I can get hold of a PC in Singapore.

27 October 2009

I read with amusement in The Star on page N23 under "Bowel cancer commonest in Malaysian men" by Health Minister Datuk Seri Dr. Liow Tiong Lai. I would like to quote what Datuk said "Surgery remains the mainstay of treatment although there has been tremendous progress in terms of chemotherapy". I would like Datuk to publish statistics on how many were treated and how many saved so that we can see the progress on chemotherapy. Perhaps I would like to remind Datuk to check history and see what some others said in the past about cancer:

1. Cornelius Rhpads, Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, 1953 - "We can look forward to something like a penicillin for cancer, and I hope within the next decade."
2. Reader's Digest article on chemotherapy, 1957 - "There is, for the first time, a scent of victory in the air."
3. American Cancer Society full page ad in the New York times, 1969 - "We are so close to a cure for cancer. We lack only the will and the kind of money... that went into putting a man on the moon."
4. Testimony to congress from the Director of the M.D. Anderson Hospital and Tumor Institute, 1969 - "...with a billion dollars for ten years we could lick cancer."
5. Lucien Isreal Conquering Cancer, 1978 - "The next few years will see the emergence of an arsenal of new drugs..."
6. Peter Greenwald, M.D. The National Cancer Institute, 1989 - "Cancer deaths can be cut in half by the year 2000."
7. Congressman Benjamin Cardin, 2006 - "We are going to lick cancer by 2015."

A study in US in 1985 shows that chemotherapy is somewhat effective in only 2 - 3% of cancer patients primarily on Hodgkin's disease, acute lymphocytle, leukemia, testicular cancer and chorlocarcinoma. Uric Abel, M.D. of the University of Heidelberg said in 1990 "For most of today's common solid cancers, the ones that cause 90% of the cancer deaths each year, chemotherapy has never proven to do any good at all." N.J. Temple, M.D. in the Journal of the Royal Society of Medicine 1991 said "Evidence has steadily accrued that [cancer therapy] is essentially a failure." Fortune Magazine reported in 2004 that "...the percentage of Americans dying from cancer is about the same [now] as in 1970... and [even] in 1950..."

Why am I making such an attack in today's blog? Yesterday I met up with an ex-colleague from my Saudi Arabian days who was back on holiday. After he found out my condition, he told me that his father-in-law died of stomach cancer; from stage 3 when it was first discovered and it was all over in 5 months. He himself had two removals of intestinal polyps, the last was done in 2006. Not only he did not changed his diet, he was also ignorant of the effects of chemo which has been brainwashed into all our minds. He felt that his father in law would lived a few months longer had he been on chemo. Hello, a few months more of what? Suffering and what quality of life? That poor chap is already bed ridden and needs to have morphine jab every 6 hours because the pain was so incredible that he could not eat and sleep. Now three more months so that the can enjoy more morphine jabs and die as a drug addict? I think you see my point. Please stop reading such nonsense from the mainstream media which are controlled by the pharmaceutical companies (under threat of advertisement boycott should the newspaper publishes something otherwise) and go to the Internet and search for more balanced information. You owe it to yourself and you love ones. Give them the chance they deserve. Now some statistics on a study of every randomized, controlled clinical trial from 1990 to 2004 in the US:

Cancer Percent 5-year Survival

Bladder 00.0
Kidney 00.0
Melanoma 00.0
Multiple myeloma 00.0
Pancreas 00.0
Prostate 00.0
Soft tissue sarcoma 00.0
Unknown primary site 00.0
Uterus 00.1
Stomach 00.7
Colon 01.0
Breast 01.4
Head & Neck 01.9
Lung 02.0
Rectum 03.4
Brain 03.7
Esophagus 04.9
Ovary 08.9
Non-Hodgkin's lymp 10.5
Cervix 12.0
Testis 37.7
Hodgkin's disease 43.0
Source: Clinical Oncology (2004) 16: 549-560

The industry considers any success rate that is lower than 30% as not successful. The last two cancers only form 2% of total cancers. Even the majority of oncologist surveyed said they will not take chemo on themselves or their love ones had cancer. So you decide on whether progress has been made in treatment of cancer or not.

I am appealing to all of you, please change your diet before it is too late. Two of my friends asked me how come I got cancer. Actually everyone lives with cancer. The average person gets about 4 billion cancer cells before it can be detected. It takes cancer cells 10 years to grows before being detected. So it does not mean that you have no problem now, you are cancer free. The best medicine is prevention! Getting cancer is not the big problem. Dying of cancer is. It is one of the most painful and the torture can last for a few months.

Now to some cancer prevention which can be easily done. Remember apricot seeds (vitamin B17)? Continue to take them (8 - 10 seeds a day). The next cancer prevention recipe was taken from my wife's email sent by her friend. Wash and partly dry several medium-size papaya leaves. Cut them up like cabbage and place them in a saucepan with 2 quarts/litres of water. Bring the water and leaves to the boil and simmer without a lid until the water is reduced by half. Strain the liquid and bottle in glass containers. The concentrate will keep in the refrigerator for three to four days. If it becomes cloudy, it should be discarded. The recommended dosage in the original recipe is 3 Tablespoons/ 50ml three times a day. If you take this tonic, it must not be used with any kind of thyroid stimulators (e.g.: KC-X) or with CoQ10 (coenzyme Q10).

Monday, October 26, 2009

26 October 2009

Over the past two weeks since I stopped working, I have now managed to more or less settled down on a routine. Urine therapy then followed by first juicing of the day and boiling coffee for coffee enema treatment at about 9am. Take probiotics enzymes supplement, 6 apricot seeds (or vitamin B17 every hour) and prepare oats for breakfast Go for a thirty minutes of walking to exercise the mind and body.

I would recommend that all men (women should do as well) do the coffee enema. Those which have pains in the body, it means you have a lot of toxic and hence should do more coffee enemas, say once a week or at least once a month. The coffee enema bucket set + organic coffee is not very expensive. It will set you back only RM70 but you can have at least 30 coffee enemas before you have to buy coffee (RM18.50) again. Of course you need to invest time and effort but it's only once a week. I am doing 4 times a day for the first two months! After a week of trying, I was able to get from holding 1 minute to 11 minutes and the target is 12 minutes (max is 15 minutes).

I said something about laetrile (vitamin B17) which is good for curing cancer. According to research done by Dr Ernst Kerbs in 1952, the apricot seed kernel contains the highest compound amagdylin. According to, amagdylin contains four substances. Two are glucose; one is benzaldyhide, and one is cyanide. Both these substances when blinded with other molecules are harmless. There is even an enzyme in normal cells to catch any free cyanide molecules and to render them harmless by combining them with sulfur. But cancer cells are not normal. They contain an enzyme that other cells do not share, beta-glucosidase. This enzyme, virtually exclusive to cancer cells, is considered the "unlocking enzyme" for amagdylin molecules. It releases both the benzaldyhide and the cyanide, creating a toxic synergy beyond their uncombined sum. This is what the cancer cell's beta-glucosidase enzyme does to self destruct cancer cells. Amagdylin or laetrile in conjunction with the protective enzymes in healthy cells and the unlocking enzymes in cancer cells is thus able to destroy cancer cells without jeopardizing healthy cells. For preventive maintenance, consume 6-8 seeds a day but for cancer patients, it is recommend that 40-50 seeds per day. Tests conducted in sheeps and Ernst Kerbs on himself found that there are no side effects even with an overdose. To be effective, apricot seeds should be eaten together with Vitamin A, C & E.

I have contacted a renowned Western trained doctor but also practices homeopathic treatment from India, Dr Ramakrishnan who will be visiting Singapore from 6-8 November 2009. He has agreed to meet me there and treat me. He will dispense medicine for two months and then meet once every two months. His fees are quite reasonable and he has quite good success rate on treating cancer patients. It would be cheaper than the costs of having to fly all the way to India to get treatment from him.

When the doctor says there is no cure for cancer, he is right. This is because a cure means permanent but in cancer there are relapses. Cancer is a metabolic deficiency disease meaning even if you are "cured" or appropriately called remission, you must continue to take preventive action to ensure that the cancer cell do not come back. Hence the word "cure" is relative and normally apply to a 5 year survival period.

My energy levels is much better now. I am also more alive and much lesser pain over my body, especially on my shoulder and neck. As I further detox, it will improve further. My weight has stabilised as I found the correct combination of foods, none of it come from animals. It is important to stress as I read Dr Max Gerson's book in which he said "I have observed that almost all patients with a higher protein intake could not be saved". Sure our body needs protein and taking a plant diet will surely cause one to lose weight even for a normal person. Cachexia, the wasting of muscle are normally found in those with pancreatic cancer. Protein provides shelter to the tumor cells. The body uses less enzymes to digest plant protein and therefore will have more available to digest the protein cover of the tumor cells. Together with vitamin B17, it forms a lethal combination to combat the tumor cells. I have read many cancer testimonies as to their effectiveness.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

25 October 2009

It's a Sunday I know but I am up early. I need to prepare for this morning's breakfast of oat meal. Then I also need to boil coffee for the coffee enema detox. I need to prepare the vegetables for juicing. Typically I spend say 4 hours a day preparing for juicing and washing thereafter.

Late last night I had my coffee enema. It was good as that was also the first time I managed to stay over 10 mins. I noticed that slow and deep breathing helps in some control of staying longer. I also noticed some black discharge. I used to have body pains or aches around the shoulder and neck. I go for massages twice a month to seek relief but now there is some relief. After breakfast this morning I did my coffee enema and also managed to stay over 10 mins but no discharge this morning. I will attempt 4 coffee enemas today.

I have been unfaithful to the Gerson therapy. I took normal food for two afternoons and also fish for two meals. I was desperate when I lost weight. It shows that the mind is weak and will accept such excuse to deviate but no more. I know I need protein and I will get it from the plants. I am still on soy milk but I will phase it out. What is a good substitute then? The Gerson Institute recommends rice milk ( I will follow the instructions and use the brown rice milk instead of soy milk. I will alternate between organic brown rice and potatoes as my staple food. I will make and drink at least 8 vegetable juices a day. Now I know how to combine the vegetables for better taste. Apple+carrot is the best and sweetest combination. I will only have one a day because of the fructose. Try not to mixed too much different type of vegetables together. I use apple as the base and then cauliflower and broccoli or apple as the based plus other green vegetables such as Chinese and red cabbage together or other type of greens such as lettuce. This will make the vegetable juices much easier to drink. I also add a teaspoon of organic wheat grass and K-salt. In between I also help myself to organic oats, organic corn, tomatoes and carrots. I am confident that this way of eating, I will not lose further weight. Phillip Day (CANCER Why We're Still Dying To Know The Truth author) reported that "our society has brought into the fear of dying through lack of protein, most believing that unless we scarf down meats by the rack-load, we are in serious danger of becoming protein-dificient." He further commented that this dangerous nonsense came from initial trials conducted on rats. Apparently rats require 10 times more protein than humans.

Over the last week since I lost weight I learned something. Desperate men do not think. They react and do stupid things. This is what I did. In my case, the price is more than just life itself. You see, in order to ensure that I remain healthy, I must stop the tumor from growing. The Gerson therapy has been proven effective by thousands of people and I just need to have faith and read a little more on how to adapt for my own case. Don't panic just because of some minor setback. If for some reasons and I deviate and the tumor grows, it's all over for me. Why? I will most likely be bed ridden. Who will go and make the juices for me? My wife needs to work and bring in the money. We still got mouths to feed. My friend Irene once asked me how come you are at stage 4 cancer and you looks so well while her father was bed ridden? Not to boast, I think the answer is obvious. I changed my lifestyle immediately when I know what to do while the rests continued with their old lifestyle. Even though my KL oncologist has said the diet has nothing to do with cancer but my current own limited experience tells me otherwise as shown in my second scan. Why do you think I can sit, write this blog, meet up with friends and continue to drive around to buy fresh vegetables and look after myself? My Singapore oncologist has declared that only my immune system can cure my disease.

I am thinking of starting a Gerson Support Group in Malaysia. While I think it is important for any cancer patient to seek two or more qualified specialist doctors for treatment options, these people should also be allowed to know of alternatives options to consider. Alternative options to cancer treatment can be found here I do not recommend this or that alternative treatment but only provide a door or a guide. It is up to the individual what he or she wants to do. I am not qualified to give such advice but hope only to share my experience and only for consideration. The decision is entirely up to the person.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

24 October 2009

The results are in. The CT scan performed at Tung Shin Hospital this morning to compare against the CT scan that was done 6 weeks ago on 11 September 2009 showed promising results. For the kidney, the tumor now measured 10.2cm x 9.4cm x 12.5cm compared to 10.5cm x 9cm x 14.0cm previously. As for the lungs, there is good and bad news. Bad news is that the number of nodes count increased on both lungs. The good news is the the largest nodes on both the left and right lungs decreased in size of 0.1cm and 0.3cm respectively. In retrospect, neither the doctors or I did anything during the first three weeks. My diet was normal and perhaps during this period the tumor grew. I only started changing my diet about 3 weeks ago and went on a strict organic plant no oil, sugar and salt diet. Overall the conclusion is that the diet did managed to stop the tumor from growing. But therein lies the problem. Let me explain.

In chapter 29 of the Cancer Therapy by Dr Max Gerson, the rehabilitation of the cancer patient is normally confronted with the following problems:
a) Medical - lack of help, difficulty of keeping to the strict diet, difficult in preparing the juices, difficulties in getting the right medication, vegetables and fruits, difficult in shopping for the fresh foodstuffs.
b) Economic - Depletion of funds of many expenses, long duration of treatment (between 1.5 yrs to 2 yrs required), more expensive preparation of dietary food and tendency to outsource the problem to hospitals.
c) Psychological - unfavorable environment influences, opposing views of friends and family, long period of restoration and changes in the way of life for the present and near future.

Unfortunately there are no holidays. Day in and day out for the next 18 to 24 months of strict following of the diet. For me, I can still take care of myself at this juncture and my wife needs to work to continue to ensure the finances do not run out to pay the basic necessities. Conventional medicine cannot cure me. The question is whether to remove the kidney to enable the body's immune system to have lesser burden to take care of the lungs. However, surgery severely weakens the body. I need to revert back to normal diet to recover and at the same time the nodes in the lungs will start to multiply even more under such diet. My game plan is therefore as follows:

1. Continue the Gerson therapy as faithful as possible. If this stops the tumor from spreading or shrink a little, it will buy me time. Looks like I have to remove animal protein from my diet as warned by Dr Max Gerson from tomorrow onwards.
2. Seek homeopathic treatment from a local practitioner and also from India. This is the medicine to be able to cure the cancer
3. Continue with supplements to boost the immune system.
4. No to surgery?

Dr Gerson further advised not to start the treatment, if for any reason strict adherence to it is not possible. I can have strict adherence at the clinic in Budapest or Mexico but what happens when I come home?

I am now looking for laetrile (or vitamin B17) most commonly found in apricot seeds. This is another supplement that will help in the cancer cells to commit suicide. This "secret" was discovered 50 years ago but nobody paid any attention especially with the medical profession and pharmaceutical companies having ridicule such treatment as "quackery". The mental condition is always being tested. Sometimes I also want to just give up. But the will to live is still very strong. Somehow the tumor is in the upper hand and take priority over normal cells. I read about all these from a book given to me by my sister called "CANCER Why We're Still Dying And To Know The Truth" by Phillip Day.

My oncologist in Singapore had wanted to know how fast the tumor is growing because that's how the tumor should behave. But since I changed my diet drastically, it also starved the tumor a little bit. What I need to do now is follow the regime as closely as possible. My homeopathic practitioner Visshudi recommended me to see another friend who has experience in the Gerson therapy. I hope to learn a thing or two from him so that I can follow the regime as closely as possible.

Since starting the protein diet back, I can feel my body hurts a little jab now and then around the ribs. Perhaps I am getting paranoid in that the tumor is now attacking my bones. I become suspicious of every single twitch in my body. This is really bad. I have to relax. After all the prognosis is already out and one leg is already on the other side. Whatever that I do is surely an improvement. Remember I mentioned about the 5 stages and I said I was in acceptance stage. Maybe I lied to myself. Maybe I am now bargaining stage only! Still I realised I have no time to delve in such matters anymore. Every passing day is critical for me. Everyday that I wake up is a day won. The tumor is trying to find every opportunity to grow. It has a upper hand. They are inside with the advantage while I am disadvantaged on the outside!

23 October 2009

The Gerson therapy that I have been talking about is a modified version that I used. The Gerson therapy is based on three main principles:
1. Detoxing through coffee enema
2. Nutritional organic vegetables and fruits eaten raw, cooked and most importantly made into juices and
3. Minerals supplements.

The concept is very simple to follow if you read the Max Gerson's book A cancer Therapy and his daughter Charlotte Gerson's follow-up book The Gerson Therapy. The beginning of the regime is very strict beginning at 6am and ending at 10pm. Every four house coffee enema and every hour vegetable and fruit juices. It should be noted that the Gerson therapy mentioned in the book is a general prescription for all type of cancers and not tailored made to each type of cancer and individual. For better results, it would be better to tailor made the program via their clinic in Mexico or Hungary. Hence, I am also experimenting what is good for me.

A friend, Bee Tin asked me the other day how do I keep myself occupied now that i have "retired". As you can see from the above, the Gerson therapy is actually very demanding requiring quite a lot of work. Unfortunately I have not been able to follow fully. Like coffee enema, I think I can do about four a day, the best I had to date is three. This is because I still have errands to run and those take away the time like going to the bank and buying vegetables every day. I started with 2 carrot and 1 apple juices and had four 8 ozs of juices per day about I think that is not good for me. Carrot and apples contains fructose which is actually sugar. So I have started to drink vegetable juices plus one carrot or an apple. The greener the vegetable, the more difficult it is to drink. I receive so many email on broccoli juice but it's not easy to drink. Vegetables that I used to make juices includes celery, Chinese and red cabbage, lettuce, greens, broccoli and cauliflower. Cooked vegetables also included some other greens like choy sum and spinach. Vegetables eaten raw include tomatoes and carrot. For my staple food, I used potatoes and brow rice. all are organic. Fruits used include green and red apples, bananas, and papaya. I have been losing weight which is due to the insufficient vegetables intake and hence I have modified the diet a little. I take soya milk and also a small fish a day though I will phase away the fish eventually. I have taken the following supplements namely Ohhira mountain extract, Q10, K-salt and now looking for lupsol iodine.

Tomorrow is an important day for me as I will be doing my second scan in 6 weeks. The oncologist in Singapore wanted me to do another scan as he wanted to see how fast growing the tumor is. This will give him some treatment options and for me as well. I have also started the my own treatment using the Gerson therapy for about 3 weeks now and I would also like to know if I had made progress or not. Of course you may be wondering, results in three weeks? Well that's how some of the Gerson patient's testified. I will then be heading for Singapore again on Wednesday to see the oncologist on Thursday to review the CT scan. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Friday, October 23, 2009

22 October 2009

Today, I had two visitors, Janice and Jeremy my friends and ex MPI colleagues. There were very concerned about by condition and I met them outside of my house. I am really grateful to many of my friends and ex-colleagues that have given me morale support. Up till now, my parents still do not know of my true condition, just told them I had some serious problems with my right kidney only. So I am not receiving visitors for the moment. Janice brought me some wheat grass supplement and also gave me a book on cancer treatment while Jeremy gave me two bottles of rice tonic. Suddenly, there are now a lot of books on using nutrition to treat cancer. The authors are both husband and wife. The wife had a near cancer experience while the husband's father passed away because of colon cancer. They devoted their life to help cancer patients through books. However some of the recommendations while nutritional sound in itself may not be good for those with cancer. In some cases, the authors have linked it back to cancer/tumor as to why it should be taken or avoided but in many cases, it's just a statement of opinion. So you will have to do some thinking what is right or good for you. Later in the evening, I also met up with some of my other ex-colleagues, Allen, Bee Tin and Nick at a vegetarian restaurant in Summit.

Early morning I went to renew my passport as I will to apply for some visas and my passport only have 3 pages left but with 9 months to go. I went to the Port Klang immigration office and did my renewal there. I arrived at about 8.10am but my photographs was not suitable and had to be taken again. I also did not bring two sets of photocopied ICs. Anyway I got back my passport at about 10.45am.

I continued my coffee enema detox program after meeting with Janice and Jeremy over lunch. Today, the coffee was a lot warmer and as in the previous days, I just could not hold longer then 5 mins. So, I will reduce the coffee to two tablespoons and add some camomile tea. Once I can complete the 12-15 mins, I will revert back to three tablespoons of coffee.

I have been thinking on how to correct my weight problem. What proteins should I take and at the same time not benefit the tumors? The books that Janice gave me, called The Complete Cancer Cleanse by Cherie Calbom and John Calbom have a short article on whey protein. Whey protein are used exclusive by bodybuilders to improve the muscles in their body. Whey protein is derived from milk. Somehow the authors recommend to stay away from milk and yet at the same time shows the potential of whey protein. I wrote an email to my sister in law YC in Singapore who is well verse in such things (she holds a doctorate degree) to check out whey protein. This is what she said and I quote "Ah yes, whey protein created some stir a few years back. It is all propaganda and sales talk. Most experiments were done on mice not clinical studies and the one new publication in a nutrition journal that I just speed read talks about innate immunity, not about effects on cancer cells. There were some suggestions that it is anti-oxidant and may be able to reduce oxidative damage that can lead to mutations(ie prevention) but not really on killing cancer cells (ie after cancer has formed).Even as a body-builder's supplement, it was all mumbo-jumbo." She reminded me that is is derived from milk and should think twice before buying.

There goes my source and I now have to make a decision to keep my body strong. I would take moderate soy milk and also fish protein to vary my diet until such time I start the Gerson therapy fully. Meanwhile, Janice has me to see another doctor who is located just behind Tawakal Hospital for more treatment options. I think I have a problem in that I kind of fixed the idea that I want to use Gerson therapy and everything else will be supplemental. You see, the believing in the treatment is important because if you don't it will not work. In the book that Janice gave me, there was a part written by Michael Mahaffrey where he had leukemia and he was given 30 days to live. He got hospitalised and took some injections and thereafter changed his diet (10% animal protein and balance of plant diet) and found God and got himself cured. That's the power in believe.

21 October 2009

I tried my first coffee enema. It was not easy the first time and I had trouble inserting the tube. It just would not go in. The "trick" is actually to relax and then push a little and you are done. Laying down on my right side and the coffee started entering the rectum. Even as it entered, you can feel the sensation of spasm of wanting to let go. It takes about 5 min to be complete the process. After that I pull out the tube and sat at the toilet bowl, waiting. The feeling is that it is really going to burst and no matter how hard I tried to withhold, some of the coffee just escapes and before 6 mins it is like a volcano bursting and I gave up and phew, the coffee oozes out. According to the handbook, I may need to vary the amount of coffee and add a bit of camomile tea to make it less stronger. According to Harold Manner, PhD who did research on the coffee enema and this is evidence on the detoxifying on using the coffee enema.

I have been worried out my weight loss and it's one of the bad sign that the bad guy is winning. although I had wanted to starve the buy guys I also ended starving myself in the process. My wife is visibly upset with my diet. I must agree that there is something not right when I lost weight. How can you lose weight and still have a spare tyre? Here I am not talking about 1 or 2 kgs. I could be having a situation called cachexia, the wasting of muscles common in cancer patients. So, I need to correct this protein imbalance by varying yet my diet again to take in more plant protein such as soya milk although soy has not been recommended in the Gerson therapy. I am also tempted to take 10% fish protein. The reason is that I must continue to maintain the body in a healthy condition to receive whatever treatment I may decide later on.

Comes Saturday, I will be performing my second CT scan, to compare against the first scan to see if the tumor has grown or not. I was desperate to improve the scan results during the last three weeks by pushing for a very clean and strict vegetarian diet but it has an obvious side effect - weight loss on the muscles! I will need to work with a nutritionist that has cancer experience. Even a visit to Newlife's article, Dr Tan's cancer recipe is very similar with that of Gerson and I also noted very little protein intake. Then what could be wrong? I think the first thing to do is to correct the situation first and look for answers later. I have been also frustrated with this diet. Although simple in theory, it is very difficult to implement. here we are not taking about the ordinary vegetarian diet. It's a diet with no oil, salt and sugar. Everything is tasteless. The vegetables tastes leafy, soup a little sweet but still tasteless. Sometime I just want to throw in the towel but I told myself to wait until Saturday to complete the scan is completed to see if the sacrifices are all worth it or not. More importantly, is the therapy is working or not? Well may not be a fair conclusion since I did not follow the program fully but I am desperate.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

20 October 2009

The back of my body still hurts a bit from the sleep last night. Because I cannot roll on the sideways to sleep too often, sleeping facing up. What that means is that I am not able to toss and turn resulting in the bones aching. I always get this problem when I sleep in a confined area. Hopefully that's what I think and not something else.

I had planned to start my therapy this morning. I found a Korean made Green Power Juicer (also sold as Samson in some countries like Singapore) which rotates at 80rpm and retain the nutrients and vitamins after juicing. I went to look at the demo of the machine at One Utama where they are having a healthy fair on the concourse of the lobby. It set me back RM2,600 not even a single Ringgit was discount given. They will deliver the juicer to my home in two hours time. Next I wen to Newlife in SS2/24 to buy the Coffee Enema kit (it's called bucket in Newlife) and also bought K-salt (potassium salt), Iodine supplement (kelp), organic coffee for the enema and peppermint tea to be taken before and after the coffee enema. Total RM190. On the way home I stopped by three organic shops to get my apples, carrots and vegetables so that I could drink 8oz (250ml) of juices every hour. Organic goods are expensive! After that I had lunch at one of the organic shop in order to boost my weight what I lost the last few days ago. I had a little fish (I thought it was vegetable fish) but it was not. After 10 days of vegetarian diet, my stomach complained after I taken the food, sort of heart burn feeling.

When I arrived home, the delivery girl was waiting outside my gate. I collected the goods and paid her. Took all the stuff inside the house, setup the juicer and made my first drink. Wow, its really different what all those juices that we ordered at restaurants. It's so sweet and thick. To make 8ozs (about 250ml), you would require two carrots and one apple. That would set you back RM8 but compared to the RM10 juice drink at the restaurant, it's a bargain.

I had said in my earlier posts that I will be talking something about coffee enema. You have been reading about detox in newspapers drinking this tea or that tea. Well I have tried one called Trutox. You get some bowel movement the first day and after that it fizzles out. Remember your intestines is 7m or 23 feet long. When you consume food, many of the unprocessed food are still lodged inside the intestines and some piled up over the years. When I first did the urine therapy, I had three or 4 bowel movements a day over 7 days non stop! I can tell you the things that comes out is really dark, filthy and smelly. Not many of you wants to take urine therapy. Well coffee enema can help you do the same and more. You need a bucket to hold at least 32oz of organic coffee and a tube to be inserted about 3 inches into you anus. It is better to get the coffee enema bucket set. The tube is specially made for this purpose that makes it easier to use. Use 32oz of distilled water, add 3 tablespoon of organic non decaffeinated coffee. Boil for 3 minutes and simmer in low heat for another 15 mins. Then let coffee cool to room temperature strain and pour into bucket. Next lie on you right side and insert tube into anus. The bucket should be around 18inches about you body to allow gravity to push the coffee into the rectum. When all the coffee is in the rectum, withdraw the tube, hold and sit on the toilet bowl. Hold to about 12-15 mins before you discharge. For the first time doing it, you may not be able to hold for more than 5 mins. Never mind. as do do more often, your timing will improve. I will report on the effectiveness the next few days.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

19 October 2009

This morning I had an appointment with an Oncologist at KL General Hospital. This will be my second opinion from an Oncologist. I registered at 9.03am and it was only after 5 hours of waiting I managed to see the Oncologist, Dr. Amin. I told him I am still well and currently on a vegetarian diet. He was surprise and said I should be taking good food to boost my body and immune system and food has no direct relation to the disease. He said even if I went on diet to staff the tumor cells, the cancer would feed on my body. I had expected this sort of reply. I believe many of you have received an email from friends on cancer update from John Hopkins University where for the first time a University is telling people there are alternative ways. Tumor cells feed on sugar and the mucus that is caused by milk intake in the gastro-intestinal track. By taking less protein the enzymes can then attacked the protein layer that protects the tumor cells.

Dr Amin was straight to the point. At this moment, he feels the best way is for me to get the tumor in my right kidney removed and maybe part of the liver if infected as well provided there are no complications and it is possible to operate. Of course, he did say the tumor may come back but that would buy sometime for me. After the surgery they can then recommend treatment for my lungs. However, the experimental drug is not possible. It seems that the Government allocation is not sufficient and they are not participating in the program. As I said before, the drug treatment costs RM20K+ a months and it would be difficult for ordinary people to get treatment. He suggested that I go back to Tung Shin Hospital and try there. The drug company may have under humanitarian grounds give it to me for free after taking into my finances.

Since my last weighing on 15 October where I weight 76kgs, my weight today dropped 4kgs to 72kgs. Although I felt lighter (my ideal weight according to my BMI is 70kgs) but this is no time to talk about BMI. My vegetarian diet is not protein rich and although there are proteins in the greens, I am not taking enough. My error was that I only ate at the usual specific time. For the Gerson therapy to work, besides hourly juices, I must eat as soon as I feel hungry, even in the middle of the night. Since I did not follow the Gerson therapy fully, I have missed the essential part of the treatment i.e. to consume about 20lbs of fruits and vegetable juices every day. The amount of nutrition and minerals would have compensate for my protein intake but since I was not doing it, my body starts to lose weight. So I had to vary my diet and allow for some protein intake mainly for organic soya beans. I also increase my intake of organic Somali brown rice for the time being.

I will review when I am fully ready to implement the Gerson therapy. My bones in my buttocks, back and ribs feels painful when I sit and sleep. This means I have lost about 4kgs of muscle through insufficient protein. Despite all this, I still have my spare tyre around my waist though it had become smaller. To fight this war, I need to preserve my body and at the same time not feed the tumor. This is really challenging. As I have said earlier, all the friend that I know whose love ones had cancer, died. Most successful cases are breast cancer but many had recurrence. What it go to show is that the current treatment is really ineffective. The Western trained doctors treat cancer as a local disease meaning they cut it away and hope that it has not spread. When the colony is disturbed, rest assured they item comeback or start a new colony elsewhere. If you had seen the video Healing Cancer, you would have noticed that a women started cutting the tumor on her legs, then her breast and when there is nothing to cut (because it spread to the lungs) so they tried chemo but it did not work. Chemo never works. It only kills the patient. So the doctors sent her home to die in 3 to 6 months time as they said there is nothing they can do. But she did not and lived to tell her story.

17 October 2009

I have been thinking what could I have eaten wrong over the years that led to my condition. I do very little corporate entertainment and spend most of my evenings and weekends eating home cooked food. Lunch has always been simple noodles or economy rice with two vegetables and one meat. I don't eat beef (except when I take burgers). The food I take is not that rich in protein or fat either. I do not smoke or drink hard liquor and only occasional beer, once in a few months. But I do have some unusual tidbits that I take namely salted prunes. In addition I use to suffer from gastric problems in my 20s and must later indigestion. I normally eat very fast and let the stomach do the chewing. This is bad. According to Dr. Eli Jones, MD in his book Cancer, its Causes, Symptoms and Treatment indigestion is one of the key findings in cancer patient. Food that are not chewed and properly processed by the stomach gets lodged in the intestines and overtime, this can help to promote growth of tumor cells. The first order of the day is then to get the stomach back in order. for me, that means I need to take food that the stomach do not have to do much work and can straight work on it. That's why fruit and green juices are the best way to get back to health.

Perhaps my liking for salted prunes since as a child is now coming back to haunt me. A saltless diet is one of the key to my recovery. I noticed that after 10 days of saltless diet, I can taste saltiness in my mouth. According to Dr Max Gerson, MD, salt excretion increased in patients of tuberculosis, cancer and other chronic disease after a saltless diet and this should go on for about 2-3 weeks. Dr Freeman Cope, MD in writing the Physiological Chemistry and Physics said "high potassium and low salt diet has been observed to cure many cases in advanced cancer in man". The salt excretions also causes flares up in the form of nausea, diarrhea and nervous disturbances. These are healing reactions that comes from the greater bile secretion and stimulation of the visceral nervous system. After each flare up the patient feels easier and improve both physically and mentally.

Without salt in your food, it can really be tasteless. I must say while you can be able to get on in day 1 but by the time day two or three comes, you would complain and want to give up. My alternative is to take k-salt (k = potassium). Potassium is important for it is a mineral required by the tissues and cells to function normally. Excessive potassium intake is regulated by the kidneys. But I have not found the place to buy it. So i guess I will have to live without it for a day or two more. I think I made a big mistake in my diet. I have been controlled my food intake. When you are on a vegetarian diet like me, I should not control and take more food. I noticed that my body and buttocks hurt when I sit. This means I have lost flesh and meat and it's a bad sign. I will now have to moderate my food intake.

16 October 2009

What would you do if you found out if have a few months to live? I drew up my lists as follows:

1 - Buddhist pilgrimage trip to India
2 - Visit Tibet and Everest Base Camp
3 - Silk Road trip

I happened to read about a movie synopsis on The Bucket List staring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman wherein it follows the final days of two persons sharing the same hospital room. I later saw the movie wherein Jack plays Edward Cole, is a very rich man and could fulfill many of the items on the list. Why not all you may ask? That's because some of the items are not possible to get with money. The items in the lists contains some of what you would expect and also some things people would like to come to terms with and the film is both emotional and interesting and yet entertaining. Except for the money, I am so much better off than Edward Cole. I am more like Cater Chambers played by Morgan Freeman. When you have terminally illness, you go through 5 stages namely denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I am now in the acceptance stage.

Drawing the bucket list seems like one has abandoned life. No that is not the case, at least for me. Apparently when you have very little time left, you tend to be more focus. You really have to narrow down what you can do realistically. I planned to accomplish at least the first item in the list this year. The reason for the pilgrimage trip is to reinforce my faith in Buddhism. During this time, many of my friends and even my brother has encourage me to embrace God. With no disrespect to their religions, I am very comfortable with Buddhism something that helps me to keep sane under my present condition. That's why no blaming and no hating.

I have been searching for a place to learn Qigong in Subang Jaya and drove around in the morning looking for groups to join. But I could not find any and after searching the Internet, they may be on on Saturday at Subang Court 9 from 7.30am to 9am. i will check it out. I believe Qigong is very helpful for my case as it improves my vitality and blood circulation.

Even though I have stopped work, I have been getting up as early as 6am every day. I need to maintain a healthy lifestyle and would not want to sleep away my time. However, I must admit that my energy level are not that high, a nap in the afternoon certainly help to recharge the body.

15 October 2009

Well, if not for my sister-in-law, YC that teaches at the National University of Singapore, I would have trouble finding the cancer department of National University Hospital (NUH). NUH is neither a public nor a private hospital. It's sort of in between as disclosed by YC. Definitely it would not be the RM5 treatment that I get from Selayang Hospital. I am actually impressed by the efficiency of the staff of Selayang Hospital which to me is quite close to those offered by say Tung Shin Hospital.

Dr Alvin Wong is in the mid to late thirties (former Malaysian) and is a Oncologist that specialises in renal disease. My weight recorded at NUH was 76kgs, a drop of 4kgs from my usual of 80kgs. I told him this was a planned drop due to my change in diet. After getting my medical history, he hesitated to tell me the prognosis. I said you can be direct. He said that there is no cure for the moment. however miracles do happen but subsequently rephrase it and said that through my immune system, I can get it cured. He felt that the nodes in the lungs are not as bad as my Urologist has put it and if the tumor in the kidney is big and perhaps could be removed but he would like me to talk to his Urologist colleague first. He said since I have not exhibited any new symptoms, that's a good sign and that the disease may be slow growing. He suggested that I take some blood tests and also do another CT scan in about 6 weeks since my first scan on 11 September. This will help him to determine the treatment options. Sounds reasonable. He then proceeded to examine me physically all over the body looking for growth or nodes around the neck, body and private parts. I did not hear this and most probably was spoken to my wife and YC while I was dressing up. Dr Alvin said if the tumor is slow growth, I may live for another 10 years before it becomes threatening. He also said to YC that I am a brave man (when I informed him earlier I was on urine therapy - somethig he has not heard about). Dr Alvin was very nice when he found out that I was not working and gave me a 50% waiver of his consultation fees. Total costs S$153 (80% are for the blood tests).

This was the first time I came out of the hopspital feeling hopeful. So far, back in Malaysia it has been bad news. I would take my second CT scan on the 24 or 26 October and possibly meet Dr Alvin on 29 October. Two days back, I had written to the Gerson approved clinic in Budapest, Hungary about joining their two weeks of treatment at a cost of EUR6,000 (which also include food and accommodation for my wife to come along) . There are two opposing sides to the Gerson therapy as usual and I wanted to find out if this therapy was a hoax or not. I thought up to now, I had no hope at conventional treatment at all, I may as well look for alternatives. Even if I go for surgery, I still need to treat my lungs. I would complement it with Homoepathy treatment. The next Gerson treatment starts on 9 November 2009 and I need to plan. I was required to submit some blood test report and fill up some questionaire.

By 2pm I was feeling weak and low on energy levels. As we quickly made our way back to YC's staff apartment, I quickly took a nap to recharge while my wife and YC was making rye bread. By the time I got up at 5pm, the bread was ready. After my bath, I ate the rye bread served with broccoli and a little honey for dinner. during dinner we had some discussion and YC and my wife said my diet change was too drastic and there is no protein at all. YC also suggested that I consider removing the right kidney and it would give my immune system a better chance of fighting the nodes in the lungs. My homoepathy practitioner is against the surgery and the books that he gave me also recommends no surgery since surgery creates a shock to the body. Would my body be weaker or better?

14 October 2009

Later today I will be traveling to Singapore for see an Oncologist at the National University Hospital. So far my treatment options are:

1 - The Tung Shin Hospital Urologist say I can remove the right kidney but may not help my condition while the other Selayang Hospital Urologist says there is no point as the liver may also be infected. There may be complications and I may not survive the operation.

2 - Surgery on the lungs and chemotherapy has been ruled out.

3 - Go on the experimental drug program and hope the drug company will sponsor some of the costs.

My Selayang Hospital Urologist had set me up for an appointment with the Hospital Kuala Lumpur Oncologist on 19 October 2009. I wonder what the Oncologist in Singapore will have to say?

13 October 2009

Medically my disease is called Renal Cell Carcinoma (RCC) or in plain simple English Regretfully Cannot Cure. Yes, conventional medicine currently does not know of any cure. The closest they have is the experimental drug that costs RM20K+ per month. Even if that is a cure, it may as well be no cure! How many people can afford the treatment? I will go broke within two year into treatment. You do not know how long you have to take the medication. This is a disease that normally starts from one kidney and the tumor grows and engulf it. Some of the cells enters the blood stream and infects other organs such as the lungs in my case. This process is called metastasis.

A sense of relief came to me as this will be my last day of work. I have one last weekly meeting and after that I spend sometime saying the goodbyes. Completed my handover report but I could not discuss it with my head as he had fever and was on medical. So I handed over via email.

My body condition and energy level is still good although I noted that I had lost some weight. I thought this is normal since I cut down my food intake and on a vegetarian diet.

Monday, October 19, 2009

12 October 2009

Today I achieve my 50th year milestone. I thought to myself even if I do not make it, 50 out of 75 (average male lifespan) is not so bad. Looking back, my life has been a roller coaster of ups and downs but I am particular satisfied with one aspect. I really have a good and close family, the ability to live with my parents and spend each day of the week for the past 49 years (I spent about one year working in Saudi Arabia) is not that bad. My wife relationship with my parents is also very good and so is my relationship with my mother-in-law.

My second last day of work is boring practically waiting for the work day to end. Except for one handover meeting at 11am, there is practically not much to do and I spent much of the time reading the Gerson therapy. I have completed the filing and almost completed the handover report.

My energy levels are average and I spent most of my time indoors. Since I took up this job four months ago, I have been taking train to work but have been driving for about one month now. This is to avoid the additional risk of getting H1N1 infection as the trains are packed with people. I noticed sometimes my heartbeat is irregular. Could it be that my mind is playing tricks after I had this condition? I have been very sensitive about my body noting any changes, if any. I need to learn to spot symptoms if my body is degenerating.

11 October 2009

I noticed that my energy levels are normally quite good in the morning but as the day progresses, it becomes weaker. My bowel movements has also slowed down and this is not a good sign. Could it be that since I cut down on my vegetarian food intake?

Today I spend sometime looking around for a good fruit juice extractor. I could not find the recommended Norwalk juicer and so was looking for some compatible one. An entry level one such as the Alpha costs RM1,790 (non member) or RM1,490 (member) at Newlife in SS2/24. I still have not bought one yet although I have a centrifugal type which is not suitable for the Gerson therapy.

Consciously I have been spending more time with my family. Perhaps it was the thought that my time left, if I did not make it is shorter now, every minute of the day counts. I make sure that we eat together and make special efforts to go out together. I tried not to let my condition affect me as much as possible. The mind is playing games with you. On one hand you will feel very good and yet another to just give up. There is constant battle.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

10 October 2009

After a few days of vegetarian diet, I noticed my energy levels is not as high as before. I feel weak and most of the time hungry. Perhaps I need time for my body to adjust to the new diet. My wife said I was too extreme in my diet and I should take a middle-path. Other than that I was feeling very good and inspired.

I went to do my vegetables shopping and bought some organic bananas, papaya, oranges and apples. I also bought organic broccoli, celery, leeks, carrots, tomatoes, potatoes and other leafy vegetables. The Gerson therapy recommended the following menu. Breakfast: 8 ounces of orange juice, large portion of oats, with choice of fruit sauce, organic 100% rye bread, unsalted and oil free toasted with spread with honey. Lunch: Salad of mixed raw vegetables, 8 ounces of Hippocrates special soup, 8 ounces of apple-carrot juice and baked potatoes (with yogurt dressing permitted). Dinner menu is the same as for lunch. Hippocrates special soup is similar to the ABC soup that my mother makes. It contains potatoes, tomatoes, leek, celery and onions but no salt, sugar and oils. The only permitted oil is organic flax seed oil. Flax seed oil must be applied cold usually in salad dressing.

I followed as closely as possible for breakfast and lunch menu. As for the fruit juices, I still have problems getting a good fruit extractor. Apparently the type sold in the electrical shop is not good and the recommend one is the Norwalk juicers. This juicer is expensive and costs from US$800 to US$2K each depending on model. Normally centrifugal juice extractors would have killed the nutrition and enzymes in the process. Organic carrot is RM16 a kilo while apples and oranges costs RM24 a kilo. So you want to make sure you retain all the nutrients after juicing. I have not been able to find the Norwalk juicer, so I may go for an equivalent Koren model called Samson which sells for about RM1K. I found this model when I visited an organic shop in Singapore. I have not been able to find a shop that sells this juicer. Maybe I should consider opening a small organic shop. I noticed that there is an Alpha model selling in Newlife for RM1,799 while a similar model costs S$200+ in Singapore.

9 October 2009

Today was quite relax day for me in the office. I have no meetings and spend the rest of the day spring cleaning my place and last minute filing. I had a lunch time appointment with some former colleagues.

I met up with Irene Loo, Kok Piew and Chip Seng for lunch at Maju Palace. When I made the appointment a week earlier I still have not switched to vegetarian. I brought my own food and only ate the fruits. I will eat organic fruits where available. Irene wondered why I resigned. She said I should keep working to keep my mind from thinking the unnecessary and at the same time earn some money. I told her that while I need to money for treatment, I do not want to die in the process. I told her I am still very strong mentally and my treatment is sort of a full time work too. My work contract does not provide for any insurance coverage.

By this time I had decided to tell many of my former colleagues and close friends of my health condition. Many of them had shown tremendous support and some even offer financial help if I needed. Although I did not have a hospitalisation insurance, I did buy the 36 critical illness plan from Great Eastern under the Multi-Purpose Insurance Group Employee scheme. When you buy insurance, you must read carefully the terms. This critical illness plan pays only when your doctor confirms that you have something un-curable. Why do you want the money for when you are dying? The medicine you can buy with the money is given too late. Shouldn't the money be given to you earlier to buy medicine to prevent you from dying in the first place?

My Tung Shin Hospital Urologist told me that my experimental drug treatment will cost RM20K+ per month and obviously I would run out of cash very quickly. Even the best hospitalisation program have limited annual payout. What's more since there are no cure for my type of tumor, the hospitalisation insurance would not pay for alternative treatment. Still the the RM50K that I can get from the 36 critical illness insurance is helpful as I can use if to pay for my alternative treatment.

This evening I met up with my friend, Vishuddi the Homeopathy practitioner to update him on my condition. He further loan me two books on cancer treatment. We chatted for a while and he recorded my mental state. He gave me some epsom salts and asked me use bath with it. Epson salt is not recommended in the Gerson therapy, so I did not use it.

8 October 2009

Well, I want to share with you some technique of urine drinking. When I told this to a friend of mine, she nearly choke. Upon immediate discharge, the urine is clean and contains about 95% water and balance of it minerals that the body discharges and possibly some toxins. When drinking urine, you must calm yourself. I can assure you that it is safe to drink and I know some people have been drinking for years. When collecting the urine, do not take the beginning and end stream of the urine. You just take the middle stream and collect about 300ml. Take a deep breath and hold it. Start drinking your urine until complete. Then wash it down with water to remove the after taste. In the beginning, you would probably need to eat something sweet to kill the after taste. For me, I took dates. Then brush your teeth. You stomach will feel warm.

Work wise, I have a few more meetings to tie up some loose ends. By the time my meetings were over, it was lunch time. Today I brought organic oats, raisins, carrot, apple and a tomato for lunch. Simple but nice. For dinner, my mother had steam the organic vegetables and I took with some organic rice.

You must be wondering why organic? The Gerson therapy consists of a) detoxification; b) nutrition nourishment and c) minerals supplementation. The body is already full of toxins and even eating conventional vegetable which are laced with pesticides would continue to add toxins back to the body. Detoxification is administered using coffee enema. This is one quick way of ridding the body of toxins directly and safely. I will explain more of this later. The fruit juices and raw and cooked vegetables are for nourishment of the body after the toxins has been released. Because of the lack of some essential minerals as a result of the vegetables and fruits, the minerals have to be supplemented and will mainly consists of iron, potassium and iodine.

7 October 2009

I am beginning to wind down my activities at work. I had a BOD meeting at 10am and waited outside the Boardroom for my turn to be called. About 30 mins later, my CTO arrived and told me that this a just a project meeting and there are more important things to do. I know he would not mind if I stopped work immediately but I thought a proper handover is important. I excused myself and went for another meeting to handover some outstanding matters. I still have a PSC status meeting in the afternoon but the presentation slide has been prepared the day before.

Chin Aik called me just about 12.30pm for lunch and we drove to Jalan Ipoh and had lunch opposite a Chinese temple in Kassipillay Kampung. We had salted fish head meehoon. Today will be my last day where I will eat meat. After lunch, we proceeded to the shop along 5th mile Jalan Ipoh where we bought two units of the Redox alkaline water filter for RM2,250 each.

My health condition remained the same but I noticed I have been eating quite a lot. I thought that was a good sign until I read that all these foods that I am taking are actually to feed the tumors! I started cutting down on food intake for dinner. I went to Carefour to buy organic vegetables so that I could start my vegetarian the next day. Local organic vegetables are still a bit pricey and depending on they type of vegetables, it can costs three to 10 times more than conventional vegetables.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

6 October 2009

It has been about 3 weeks since I have discovered my condition. So far the doctors have not prescribed any medication nor any advise on what food to take or avoid. Since reading about the Gerson therapy I wanted to change my diet immediately. Meanwhile I have been asking Chin Aik for the address of the shop to buy the alkaline water filter. I need to create a condition that is not favourable to the tumors.

If I am on vegetarian diet, I have to abstain from sugar, oils and salt. Tumors feeds on oils and sugar while salt is an enzyme inhibitor. Tumor and cancel cells uses protein to "cover" itself from the immune system. That's why stopping to eat animal protein is the first step. When the enzymes are not working to dissolve the protein layer because of the salt, the tumors can continue to grow. So I must now starve the tumor cells by not taking such foods. In the morning, after my urine therapy i would take fruit juices that my wife makes for me. It contains carrot, apple, papaya and lemon. Kind of acidic in the morning but I read that when it reaches the stomach, it becomes alkaline. The theory looks reasonable but I still have not started to become fully vegetarian.

5 October 2009

Monday, most stressful day of the week. But today is different. The weekly meeting was postponed. What a relief for me. But I still have two more meetings in the next two days, the monthly PSC meeting chaired by the BOD and the BOD meeting of a subsidiary. I have completed the presentation slides of the PSC meeting but have not got sufficient information to prepare the slides for the BOD meeting and it's two days away. These are really unnecessary stress. Anyway since disclosing my condition to the CTO, he has been leaving me alone. For that I really appreciated very much.

After further discussion with my wife over the weekend, I have decided to tender my resignation today and give one week notice. My last working day was to be 13 October 2009. Why 13th? Well two reasons, first is that I need to give 1 week's notice to do handover and secondly I wanted to stop work after my 50th birthday which falls on 12 October 2009. I had always wanted to retire at aged 50. It did come through but for the wrong reasons for retiring.

3-4 October 2009

I have been taking urine therapy for more than a week now. Did I tell you that urine therapy detox the body by having bowel movements for about a week? I certainly emptied my bowels clean. Other changes were that my face become more pinkish and the skin became smoother! Yes, no need to spend thousands of Ringgit in beauty spa. I read in the Internet that some Japanese women actually use their urine to bath themselves for smoother skin. I can vouch for that now.

I spend more time reading the Gerson therapy. You can download more information from here I realised that this could be one of my only hope and although the regime is strict, it can be carried out.

I took my parent out for dinner on Saturday evening. I though it will be a while before we can seat together in a restaurant as my condition could deteriorate anytime. We went to our usual restaurant along the foothill of Thean Hou Temple.

On the morning of Sunday, I met Cindy Fong a MLM upline that was introduced by a friend of Chin Aik. She had a product called Ohhira Mountain Fruit Extract that contains 59 million live enzymes in each gel. I believe this natural extract would be complementary to what I am planning to do. It's a little costly. Membership is RM20 and then each box contains 60 gels costing RM180 per box. For a start of the 20 day program, I have to take 20 gels, 6 gels in the morning, 7 at noon and before I retire to bed. some of the users are also cancer patients and have shown to improve their well being.

I visited my sister on Sunday afternoon and also brought along a copy of the DVD. I told her not to worry about me. I know she has been crying ever since she found out my condition but I told her that it would not help me if she cried. What I need from her is not pity and her brother is still the same not withstanding something extra in the body. I have been very cheerful and did not have any sleepless night. I need to energy to fight on and need all the energy to read, think and fight on.

2 October 2009

My colleague and friend Chin Aik said we better go and see the fortune cum feng shui Master this evening in Bahau. Fridays has always been a non busy day as I spend most of the time completing administrative tasks such as filing, witing minutes and uploading documents to the elibrary. I left the office at 5pm that day and to meet Chin Aik at his course at Saujana Impian in Kajang and go in one car from there. The drive to Bahau saw me using a new highway LEKAS. The drive was smooth but no sooner, the highway end. I was made to understand that the rest of the highway is still in progress. The drive to Bahau was nostalgic as I used to travel this part when I was attached to MUI Finance in Rembau. Bahau town has certainly changed. We managed to find the Master who sell paus (dumplings) in the day time. After giving the Master my birth date and time, he began some calculations. His prediction was that I could improve by making minor changes to my hall and my bed position in my room. However, he could not "forsee" that my life would be short for when I told him I had tumors he shook his head. Perhaps he is right, wishful thinking on my side.

After consultation on the way back home, I receive a call from my temple friends, Stephanie. She was desperately trying to get to me after having tried so many times earlier. She told me that she knows of a friend that had similar condition as mine several years ago. He had one of his kidney removed but it became apparent the he could not do chemo because his body was severely weakened after the surgery. Then I told her, maybe I can help. I found out about the Gerson therapy when I watch the "Healing Cancer From Inside Out" which I intend to use it on myself. There was a silence when I asked what happened to him. She could not say it and I asked if he had died and she said yes. I told her not to worry as I have passed the self pity stage and I am equally comfortable talking about my own death. This is not the first time I am in a life and death situation. My ex-colleagues in Multi-Purpose Insurance would remember in 5 August 2006, I nearly drowned while playing at the beach. A hugh wave sweep me, Chee Fooi and Kian Beng out to the sea. Luckily Chee Fooi who was about 6ft tall managed to walk back to the beach and got help. By the time they got me out of the sea, I was turning blue, hypothermia. The body functions starts to slow down automatically and only my breathing continued. If I had died on that day, it would have been painless but bloated because I started drinking the sea water. As I was saved in the nick of time, I spend one night at the Kuala Terengganu Hospital accompanied by Beng Chai and was discharged the next day.

The doctors have so far gave me two options; a) chemo and b) experimental drugs. Chemo is out and therefore I have only one option left under conventional treatment. Earlier in the morning, Selayang Hospital has asked me to go over to collect my referral letter to see the Oncologist on 19 October 2009. I met Dr Siti who gave me the referral letter and also a brochure on Sutent, the experimental drug. She asked me to read it and my Oncologist will be discussing it when I next meet them. The brochure only mentioned what Sutent is and also what side effects the patient will have after taking it. There was no mentioned about success rate, how long it had been in use, etc. In short, it's oral chemo.

My brother had wanted to meet me. He told me over the phone that my eldest sister is very worried about me and he needs to meet me to find out my present condition so that he could report to her. I assured by brother that I am fine and not doing anything silly and in fact researching for alternative treatment that I can use. I showed him something on the Gerson therapy and also gave him a copy of the "Healing Cancer From inside Out" DVD.

1 October 2009

I have been thinking for a while about either taking a month or two from medical leave or resigning from work. My job is full of stress and the projects are all very short. Taking medical leave would not be fair to my boss as he requires staff to make sure the project runs as scheduled.

So in the afternoon after lunch, I took the opportunity to go over and meet my CTO and explained to him my health situation. He was not only sympathetic toward my medical condition but offered encouragement be explaining some of his personal experiences as he was also in similar situation when his wife was diagnosed as terminally ill. I then told him of my wish to resign and he agreed that currently somethings are more important than work.

I was also grateful to some peers who was willing to share the DVD "Healing Cancer From The Inside Out". I watched the show and now understand better how doctors and the cancer industry players work together to treat the patients. More importantly I now understand that when you have cancer, the doctor will only have three options to choose; a) surgery; b) chemotherapy/Radiotherapy and c) experimental drugs. Despite the success rate of chemotherapy to be between 2%-3% based on a 20 year study of cancer patients, the doctors still recommend patients to take chemo. Most frightening was that more patients died of chemotherapy that from the cancer itself. My friend Chin related his mother's case to me. About 10 years ago, at 70, his mother was diagnosed as having cancer and the doctor who was the president of the Oncologist Association of Malaysia said that his mother was a very good case to receive chemotherapy. Hearing the positive news, my friend arranged for his mother to receive her first dose. What a dose it was. She had the dose in the morning and by the afternoon she passed away. Although I understand under the standard checklist for patients before applying chemotherapy, patients must not exhibit any symptoms of flu, fever or cough and not feeling well, obviously this standard checklist is not good enough. Doctors are not trained about nutrition and getting the body in shape to take damaging treatment such as chemo. Everybody know before taking a long journey, they will ensure the car is in tip top shape (not just servicing but preventive maintenance) before embarking the journey. But no, most doctors don't do that.

Friday, October 16, 2009

30 September 2009

This evening, my wife had made an appointment on my behalf to meet another friend who is now training to be a homeopathy practitioner. My wife strongly discourage me from taking chemo and neither will I. The quality of life during and after chemo is really bad. Not only your good cells dies, your immune system will also deteriorate. For my type of tumor, conventional medicine currently have no cure. That's the sad truth. Hence, my survival will have to come from within myself, the will to fight and also boosting my own immune system.

This afternoon, I had another project meeting. Although this project did have some problems, but it was under control. The only risk was the the delay in roll-out. As predicted, the meeting went smoothly as we had earlier met the heads privately to seek their comments and consent. I get very tense during project meetings. The problem with this job is not that you can't do the work yourself but depend on others to accomplish it.

Later the evening, I arrived at my friend's house to consult him about homeopathy treatment for cancers. He loan me a book about Traditional Chinese Medicine and convention medicine treatment. The books was written for doctors, so it was not easy to read. The treatment is somewhat different from what my doctors have told me. Firstly, it recommend a more holistic way to deal with such problems. For example, if you need to do chemo, they doctor will recommend you to take some medicine, herbs and supplement to boost your immune system so that when you actually starts the chemo, the damaged done to your body is minimal. It also give various options on certain type of treatment but I could not finish the whole book. It went on to give too much details. I was given two forms to fill by my friend and it basically tries to find out my medical history and also the food that I take noting any preferences or cravings. By the time we finished, it was almost 11.30pm and my friend has yet to take his dinner!

29 September 2009

Yesterday ws supposed to be the weekly IT PMO meeting for status update but was postponed to 5 October. I was quite relieved to hear that because our presentation slides was not ready and there were a number of issues still not iron out.

My friend and colleague Chin Aik has been offering me moral support decided that I should consult a fortune cum fung shui Master to check on my fate. We had planned to visit Bahau where the Master is based at about 3pm. We arranged to meet at Endah Parade where I parked my car and traveled in his car. As luck would have it, Chin Aik had to go for a meeting and we could not go to Bahau. After the meeting it was too late to travel and he then told me about his alkaline water filter. I have not heard about such water filter before but he was convinced by the shopkeeper that it was good for him. He bought his unit at RM4K+ about 8 years ago. Apparently before he bought the unit, the shopkeeper offered to supply him free of charge the water for a few weeks on condition that he take his cholesterol level test before and after drinking the alkaline water. Not only did he recorded lower cholesterol level, he noticed that his blood has become thinner. You see he even had trouble taking blood for tests as it was very thick. He also noticed that when there was a wound in his finger, not only the wound would not heal, it had actually grown in size - a sign of getting diabetes. But all this problem went away when he consumed the alkaline water. Later he also introduced me to a friend who was taking a natural enzyme supplement Probiotics Ohhira Mountain Fruits Extract.

For me, the alkaline water was good since my body is very acidic and an alkaline environment would not be conducive for the tumors. So, I asked him for more details of the benefits of alkaline water. He quickly surf the Internet and then read out a document the quickly summarised the benefits. In the article, there was a mentioned about an educational DVD called "Healing Cancer From Inside Out". I took the title down and began to search for the DVD in the Internet later in the evening.

27 September 2009

We arrived from Hangzhou at KLIA at about 5am. Did some usual duty free shopping and went for a hot copy of coffee while waiting for daybreak at 6am. Board the taxi at 6.15am (it would costs 50% more had we taken the Taxi at 5.45am).

Later the day, I took my family out for dinner and we had the usual dishes. We also ordered a separate dish clay pot crab. One crab, rice and some seasonings in a large pot possibly for 3 persons but costs RM56. Well you will only try it once. Nothing to shout about.

It's been two weeks since I knew about my condition but my parents still does not know. The prognosis is not good and so far the treatment options are also not good. My Urologist had not recommended me to go for surgery to remove the kidney but instead suggested I take chemo. But chemo would only prolong my life but not cure it. He also suggested to take some form of oral drugs which is currently under testing but it is going to costs me RM20+K a month. The drug company although will also sponsor some of the costs, I don't think I have sufficient resources to say last 2 years of treatment. What am I gong to do? Still I did not want these issues to make me feel down. I have been searching the Internet for some answers.

23-26 September 2009

I will write more details about my Hangzhou trip separately in another post.

This morning I was wondering if I should continue with my urine therapy. Firstly the urine therapy has caused me a lot of bowel movement and though I may as well stop for the next 4 days so that I don't go looking for toilet in the midst of strolling in the West Lake or some temple.

Because of the West Lake hype before the trip, meeting the Lake in person brought a little of disappointment. Well, it's a big beautiful lake with lots of trees and of course other man made structures. We walk a lot, in fact more than half of the lake and by the end of morning, we could not walk anymore. We also bought a RMB5 map of West Lake and got hold of the free Tourist map to help us move around Hangzhou. It takes sometime to know about the bus system but it was quite convenient for both of us despite not knowing how to read and write Mandarin.

Very quickly the days passed and we headed back for Kuala Lumpur on the night of September 26.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

22 September 2009

Like the day before, I started collecting my morning urine. Second day is as difficult as the first. I though once started, it would be easier. I went through the same process and got it over with. Oh one thing I did not tell was that after taking the urine therapy, I have bowel movements at least three times a day. There was so much to release.

My mental state has been very positive (occasional lapses here and there) but overall I was able to maintain a very happy state. What ever it is, I should live my life to the fullest. My kidney was behaving very well. However, I had tender sensations around my ribs so much so I was not able to sleep sideways. My Urologist has said this could be that due to the tumor trying to infect the bones. I was also a little overweight and the spare tyre around my waist also caused me great discomfort when sitting. Otherwise, everything was good, so I decided to go ahead with the trip. Together with my wife we left for the airport at about 1.20pm.

We arrived in Hangzhou at 10.30pm and after the formalities got out at 11pm. I was wondering to take the bus or cab. I went to the bus counter and asked the staff if the bus station is near my hotel. She said you can take a taxi from the bus station in Wulin Square. So we bought the tickets RMB20 each (although RMB40, but still cheaper than taxi at about RMB100). We we arrived at the bus station, it was about 11.45pm and there were already a fleet of taxis waiting for us. The hotel where I am staying is near Wulin Square on Stadium Road (Tiyichang Lu) but since I have not been to Hangzhou, I have no idea how far or near. So I asked for directions from the bus driver and he said to walk straight to the junction turn left and after the next traffic junction, I would be able to see my hotel on the left. We arrive at the hotel 15 mins later and showed my booking slip to the receptionist. She said she would check if there are rooms available because they only reserve rooms up to 8pm. As the China national holidays is one week away, we had no problems getting our room at RMB278 per night. We chose Hung Du Hotel as it is near to the shopping area of Wulin Square and only 15mins walk to the West Lake.

21 September 2009

Today it's Hari Raya Aidl Fitri. I got up about 7am. I got hold of a empty clean 425ml jam jar and began to collect my urine, taking only the middle stream of urine. I collect about 80% full. I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. One one hand was the jar of urine and the other a glass of clean water. I wanted to drink but my had would not move. So this mind battle carried on for about 10 minutes. I put the jar down and when to fridge and took out a preserve date as I was worried about the after taste of drinking urine. Now back in my bathroom I took up the urine jar again and edge it close to my mouth. I was not breathing then and quickly started drinking. I nearly vomited just about taking about 20% but forced myself to continue drinking all of it. I quickly flush down with the clean water and as I started breathing again, the after taste was felt. I grab the preserved date and began to chew it and quickly swallowed it followed by brushing my teeth. Well that was not so bad, I thought to myself. Later I found out that my urine can be improved depending on what I ate in the day.

20 September 2009

Today my mind has been very active. I have been thinking quite a lot of things. I wondered if I should resign from my present job. Although a trained Chartered Accountant and having spent much of my earlier years in the financial and manufacturing industries, I have also dabbled in IT consulting for a number of years. Currently as a Program Manager for an Islamic Bank, my job is quite stressful. My CTO is a no nonsense highly charged senior executive. Every day of the week are filled with status and project meetings. In view of my present condition I thought it would be better if I take sometime off my job and improve my health. Perhaps taking a month and two off?

I booked a trip to Hangzhou 11 months ago for a five days free and easy trip via Air AsiaX. I was wondering if I should travel on 22 September 2009? About one month back, at about 2am in the morning, I had severe pain at the back of my right kidney. It was unbearable and my wife took me to a local 24 hours clinic and I was given a jab to ease the pain. The doctor told me that is is most likely a kidney stones attack. I was also given a liquid to drink to flush out my urine. When I urinated after the incident, the urine was mostly blood but I also noticed some blood cloth as well. I was worried that during my trip to Hangzhou, I could get another kidney attack while there and worst still during my flight. I would monitor my kidney and will only decide on the day of travel. I had book my hotel but was not required to pay a booking fee.

With only a few months to live, I wonder how I should prioritise my time. My treatment options are limited and would probably help me to live a few months longer. The Urologist said I was now at Stage 4. There are a few things I wanted to do; a) take a pilgrimage trip to India; b) take up noviceship as a monk for 2 weeks in Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary (SBS) Taiping and c) take a visit to Tibet. I began to search for the monkhood program on the SBS website and stumble upon an article. Towards the end of the article, something caught my mind. Apparently urine therapy is beneficial and suggested to read the book by Dr John Armstrong called "The Water of Life". I did more research through the Internet about this urine therapy and the best part was not only it's free, you can start anytime because you are drinking your own urine. However, that is easier said than done. I have been taught that urine is dirty. So how do I start? After reading a few web sites, I kind of know what to do but saying and doing is two different things. I could not summon enough courage to start!

Saturday, October 10, 2009

19 September 2009

Today is a very special day. My father is celebrating his 80th birthday and I had a dinner organised for him at Overseas at Subang Parade. We only invited close family members and had three tables booked. The dishes was not bad and costs RM688++ per table plus RM3.80 per person for Chinese tea. No cockage was charged by them when we brought our own soft drinks, beer and wine. Everyone had a good time.

It was also at this date I told my second sister about my condition. I could see her eyes were red and I assured her everything was all right and she has nothing to worry. She quickly took my eldest sisters to the toilet and broke the news to her and I could now see both my two sisters having red eyes. They all put up a brave face.