Sunday, August 15, 2010

Down But Not Out

I thought this day would not arrive but there is always a first time. I have been reporting slow progress over the past few months but today, I will report deterioration. Yes, the recent events shows that my body is deteriorating. My buttocks is getting more painful when I sit down, my hard cough now produces pain around the chest area and there is continuous pain about the back, just below the shoulder blade area. This morning when I cough, there was more blood clots, only this time it looks rather fresh. Both my thighs, especially my right thigh is in constant numbness attack and this morning when I wake up, I need some time to get the strength to stand straight. My throat is not only dry, it has started to become painful. Am I in the pain season?

Yes, all this look like bad signs. In the past I would call this a healing reaction, and perhaps it may be the violent reaction that ones get before healing but I am not so hopeful. I have been very consistent with my diet on what I take, only a few sweet fruits in the past month and the brown rice porridge was to take care of the stomach gas problems. Could all this have triggered the recent events? Or should I quote as Dr Gerson had said in his book, if you cannot follow the Gerson Therapy fully, don't do it. So I was doomed from the start? I don't think so because I did get positive reactions even the first month of the therapy (before I started homeopathy). Then as a precaution, I also did homeopathy therapy. Homeopathy does not have any diet restrictions, so even if I had taken sweet fruits and porridge, if the therapy has been working, then I should not be in the current state. So what's going on?

Honestly, I am lost. I am not sure if I am in a healing state now or deterioration state. Although I am still breathing and generally my body is behaving well, those little tell tale signs does not reflect well on my condition. I am not depressed and instead far from it because I am very charged up to stop this situation. I will know exactly in 10 days time from the results of the scan but I thought what can I do this last 10 days? I have changed my diet and added snake plant leaves to my juicing. Perhaps these are the reactions from this change of therapy? I am a firm believer of the sayings "no pain no gain" and "don't expect different results if you do the same things". Maybe I am jumping the gun and should wait for the outcome of the scan first.

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