Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Deepening Crisis

Yesterday morning while I was doing my morning enema, as I started to feel for lumps around my neck area and to my horror, I found a lymph node the size of a marble in the pit just above the left collarbone. Perhaps this explain the pain around the neck, shoulder and back area. At about 6.45pm I experienced nose bleeding just after I took my last juice of the day. What could have cause this development? Maybe the lymph node was there all the time, only I did not discover it. My diet has been very consistent except for a period of time when I took in brown rice porridge because of the stomach gas problem and also maybe because of the sweet fruits that I took. Now I will use oats instead of brown rice and also cutting down on sweet fruits.

I was at the temple last Sunday when I met a friend who told me that I have lost my radiance which I had when we last met two weeks ago. I must admit the developments of late has jolted my confidence and yesterday I was bent on damage control. The tumors are found at a number of important organs (kidney, lungs, liver, T3 area and now neck area) in my body and the fact that I have endured and not perish means the therapy must be somewhat effective. It also means now I may have to take longer time to heal, so I will first need to control my own emotions. I am now doing a self campaign on smiling. I should have died but did not, so why shouldn't I smile? It's therapeutic too.

Curing cancer requires a rich man's pocket. One of the problems most cancer patient face is finance. No, I am not asking for donation because the hole is so deep, how much can you donate to fill it up? Yesterday I was watching the 1973 movie Sunshine by Cliff De Young on Youtube and it was based on a true story. The lady (played by Cristina Raines) who had cancer was 20 years old and has a two year old child and her husband is a struggling singer. There was an emotional scene where the couple was arguing about finances. What is the point I am trying to make? The results of the scan that I am going to do at the end of this month has serious ramifications. If the scan shows a no win no lose situation meaning the tumors are under control but not diminished, this is where the problem is. My current organic food bill is about RM4k per month and financially I am not in a position to undertake this therapy for the next 10 years to keep myself alive because by then, I have exhausted my retirement fund. I got some hard decisions to make. So please take good care of your health.

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