Sunday, July 18, 2010

Like A Yoyo

I have been very candid about how I feel as I undergo this therapy. Despite over 10 months into the therapy, the confidence level is not cast in stone, but rather like razor blade thin wall, waiting to collapse anytime. Until and unless the results are comfirmed by CT scan, the mood will swing like a yoyo. Despite the mood swings, I do feel great because I am happy to be still alive! I have been reminded while one must have hope, expectations should be managed because the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointments when the results are out, especially negative results could lead to depression. All living beings suffer from mental and physical sufferings. While it is easier to manage physical sufferings, mental suffering are not easy to handle. Why do you think people commit sucide?

Although the shoulder blade area pain in minimal, but when it comes, it does disturb my sleep because I would need to toss and turn. I believe the pain is posture related because when I lie flat on the bed (without the pillow), the pain is minimal and when I stack up with pillows and lie on it while watching TV, then the pain comes quite quickly. I believe my body is quite stiff possibly due to lack of exercises. Maybe I should try and do some light exercises (especially stretching) now that my energy levels are so much better.

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