Intermediate Plans

Continuous self motivation and encouragement for oneself suffering from cancer is very important but is also difficult to maintain. Maintaining a routine is one way to maintain the motivation, a little odd because routine breeds boredom. During this period of time, you have to complete the juicing, coffee enema and also feed yourself. These activities gives energy that make you feel good. By slackning or when you miss the timing, you feel lethargic. So you have motivtion to maintain the routine.

Recently I chance upon a book called Orange Book by Bhagawan Shree Rajneesh or popularly known as Osho. I have not complete reading the book. I had just began and it contains a chapter on Dawn. He says start the day laughing which he calls laughing meditation. His explanation of mediation is interesting. He says "The first thing is to know about meditation. Eyerything else follows. I cannot say to you that you should do meditation, I can only explain to you what it is. If you understand me, you should be in meditation; there is no should to it. If you don't understand me, then you will not be in meditation." Very philosophical. I learned meditation in year 2000. I had better success in the beginning but as time went by it became worst. The more I read about meditation, the more I did not know meditation. You just need the basic to start off and the rest is discovery during the meditation. Books distort and unconciously guide your thoughts away. Meditation is a Buddhist way of life and is also part of my spiritual therapy. I will look at it from Osho's view and hopefully progress from there.

I am now planning for the pilgrimage trip to India. What is most challenging will be my food. The rest of the family will have no problems. We have been warned by an Indian friend, India is a cultural shock even for Indians. Although my wife and I have been to Nepal, I think India is different. I am starting to read some travel guide book like Lonely Planet and also guidance from my friends who had travelled there (not those who went on guided tours) by backpacking. The reason why we are travelling this way is to understand what Buddha went through during his days by walking only. I will also document the tour extensively and post it in my blog with pictures and trip details. A pilgrimage should not be a tour of luxury and comfort. I want all my Buddhist friends to be able to go pilgrimage without having to break their bank account. The current price charged by privately organised pilgrimage tours are just too pricey. There is another job for me. If I recover from my sickness, in a year's time, my friend Vishuddi and I will be tour leaders leading a group of Sunday Dhamma school teachers for this pilgrimage tour.

Some of my ex-colleagues have been asking me what my plans are. I am now on a two year sabbatical leave. As I settled on a routine, I realised I have more time at hand and therefore need to do something useful in between the jucing and coffee enemas. In August 2009, I wanted to enroll for my PhD in Finance at UTAR but I am not able to sign up for now. My ex-colleague have asked me to consider coming back to active work when my health has been stabalised. One option is to wait till March 2010 to confirm that my condition has stabilised (from the CT scans). I am also thinking of a career change, doing something different. Still thinking. I am keeping all my options open for now. Meanwhile I am refreshing my Japanses language which I have forgotton. This time I have my daughters for company as they are learning too.