Thursday, July 14, 2011

Let It Flow

My friend loaned me a Hindi movie called 3 Idots. I don't understand Hindi of course, so I depended on the English subtitles. It's a comedy, love, friendship, self discovery and being true to oneself all rolled into one and it's about 3 guys studying Engineering in a college and their misadventures. It also boasts of beautiful sceneries, a very pretty female lead, Kareena Kapoor, good acting, continuous action and I would highly recommend this touching 2hrs 45mins movie.

There is one scene in the movie, after watching reminds me of my cancer journey. A student was doing his final year project and he wanted to build a miniature helicopter powered with four vertical propellers. Not only has he to make the machine fly, but have all the propellers synchronized as well which is not an easy project. He asked his professor for an extension of time to complete his project but of course was flatly declined by his professor. He felt he was so close to the completion but was very dejected after being refused extension of time. Later he hang himself in his room with the words "I QUIT". There is much more to what I described to make the scene pitiful.

I felt very sad seeing that scene. Many of us cancer patients treat our cancer as a fight, a war that only one of us will survive. So we focus our attention to remove the tumors without caring for ourself as a person. A friend once said of me that my cancer fight is a project, the therapies are just tasks with milestones to meet. So when the results are not there, more pressure and tasks (therapies in my case) are added so that the project is completed in time. In my case, complete here means my cancer is in remission.

There is no compassion for the own body, everything is reduced to a fight or task to attack the tumors. The healing process are reduced to inanimate objects such as tasks to be completed. No results creates stress and doubts. Like in many difficult projects, it can be abandoned. There are so many times I thought of quitting. It's the easiest way out. I realised this is a wrong way to deal with cancer. Healing the body takes time and it take more than just tasks (physical therapies) to get oneself healed. Putting deadlines on when the body gets healed is like setting your own time bomb.

In my early days of the therapy, I get encouraged by reading testimonials on how soon the therapy heals. That become a yardstick and when my time came, I did not get healed, I became dejected. My mind started to have doubts and suddenly, everything became difficult to do. I have since learned that each of us are different. Promotional literature will use the best case scenario to inspire hope, at least it is humanely possible to defeat cancer. But it is also a danger because such accounts are often simplisitic. I also hear of people that adopt similar diet and did not survive! More importantly, I learned not to treat my body like a machine that will respond and react to predefined settings. It does not work that way and one need not panic if the reactions are different from that documented. I also believe there is no use to continue to measure progress too frequently because such reports are temporary and the body situation is very fluid and changes rapidly. Everytime a report is out, I would feel dejected when the results are negative and feel good when the results showed improvement. Yet, overtime, I noted that the results are not consistent, sometimes good and sometimes not so good. I personally heard one case where a women was talking to the therapist over the phone that she wanted to quit alternative therapy and do conventional treatment after her cancer marker shot up. Why allow myself to such torture? So instead, allow the body time and space to heal. Don't panic on the first sign of trouble or when things don't seem to work.

Desperation do set in and that's when I do stupid things. Now I am more composed and aware. I just do the best I can, no milestones or deadlines, whatever that come naturally.

New Way Of Using Sabah Snake Grass
Recently, I received some information about an alternative cancer therapy and also Sabah Snake Grass(SSG) written by a layperson based on the experience of a cancer patient with a Naturopathic Consultant. I am not trying to discredit any person but just to raise awareness.

According to a Naturopathic Consultant, the SSG is not to be taken too often, because of its “cooling” properties which will weaken the lung.

The Consultant suggested boiling the SSG (50g) with brown sugar, Huanglian or Rhizoma Coptids (20g) and Jinyinhua or Flos Lonicerae(50g). The brown sugar will counteract the “cooling” properties of the herb, Huanglian and Jinyinhua have powerful detoxification properties. Even then, it should only be taken not more than 2 times a week.

In any case, only SSG that grow in the wild (wet land area) have the efficacy. I am not sure about this claim but according to many home grown SSG users, they have seen good progress in cancer patients.

According to my TCM notes, Huanglian or Rhizoma Coptids is bitter and cold in nature attributive to the heart, liver, stomach and large intestine meridians. It's actions are to clear away heat and dampness. Jinyinhua or Flos Lonicerae is sweet in flavor and cold in nature. It's action are to clear away heat, relieve toxins and eliminate summer heat. Both the herbs are cold (more than just cooling) and I wonder if adding it to SSG which itself is also cooling in nature, would it not make the decoction even more cooling? I will have to seek confirmation with my TCM lecturer.

I have been receiving quite a lot of emails about where to source for SSG. Apparently, according to one reader, there is now a shortage of SSG in the Klang Valley area. I would suggest to SSG users, please try and grow your own SSG. It's very easy to grow. Just cut any SSG branches and plant in in the soil. You can get your first harvest within 5 weeks.


  1. Dear CT,as i said in all my comments to you,keep doing what you are doing and don't let up as you must be doing it right as you are still writing about it.Keep going and my prayers always for you.You are an inspiration to us all FR AL MAL.

  2. CT, your condition is not very serious.

    Boil Chinese Barley in high concentration and drink. Once stabilise, lower the quantity because it is cooling, albeit not very cooling. Also boil with rice and eat.

    The secret of herbs lies with quantity.

    Chinese barley removes dampness, invigorates the stomach, removes pus and shrinks tumour. It stops the cancer cell replicating half way through.

    It mitigates stomach, lung, liver,nose, oesophagus, bile duct, pancreas , kidney, bladder, thyroid, ovary, uterus, breast cancers and etc.

    Chinese barley is not expensive and the side effect is not as bad as other herbs.

    Chinese herbs used to treat cancer are normally very cooling. It is effective in the early stages when the patient is still strong. However, over time, the patient may become weaken and the herbs got to adjust accordingly with a little warm herbs and not too much because the tumour would be strengthened.

    The best warm herb is to walk 4 hours per day under warm sunlight between 7-9 am and 5-7 pm. Warm sunlight and exercise would not strengthen the cancer but the body instead. Warm herbs is less effective because though it strengthens the body, it also strengthens the cancer. That is why the quantity got to be low.

  3. hi CT,

    glad that you are more relaxed now and have stopped obsessing about tests/results. Once I created a blog entry regarding my mother's remission, and called for a celebration-- for us to enjoy living again. sometimes, we have to take one small sliver of hope and use it as a catalyst to start living in the present again.. its not that I have unreasonable expectations-- but I want my mother to reclaim her present-- so that she can enjoy everything she have now.. I know that the conventional view of remission is about tumor not being detectable (though it does not mean the cancer cells are all gone-- just that the tumour is not detectable)--- but I also ride on that "quick win" so to speak to keep rallying our troops and for us to recuperate and get ready for the next round of battle. for the last 2 days, my mother started having colds and cough. My SIL's reaction was that of fear-- mine was of elation. Now, I know that my mother's immune system is still working. I thought maybe this is a healing reaction. She never had cough and colds for the last 10 years. So, for me this is a sign that her body is working the way it should...

    You have gone a long way and is still on the right path.. I hope that you continue living in the present more and more..


  4. Hi CT,

    I think that it's your discipline in Project Management which gave you the added advantage to draw up a structured path in this battle of yours !

    I really tabik you !

    Best wishes,


  5. May you be guided along the right path- live wisely.

    Valkryie Edgely