Friday, July 22, 2011

I should Have, But...

Today, I will be attending a talk on Emotional Code organised by Yeong and Khadijah. The talk will be held at the SS19/1 Residents' Association premises and I will be away for most part of the morning. I hope to learn something from this interesting subject.

Yesterday afternoon, I was having lunch at this organic restaurant and I spoke to the boss and he told me he is the process of planting Sabah Snake Grass on his farm on a large scale. Hopefully, he will get some good harvest in 6 months time and he will giving them away free to cancer patients. Will let you know if it materialises.

Nurse Reveals The Top 5 Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed
For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone's capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn't work so hard.
3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

Except for item (4), my list is the same as above. While I cannot change item (2) above, my cancer has helped me live and understand better. I have been working on items (1), (3) and (5) since. It's still work in progress.

I would recommend a very fun movie called Pleasantville. It's a 1998 American fantasy comedy-drama film staring Tobey Maguire (of Spiderman fame). Perhaps it will help you understand better items (1) and (3) on the above list. I will not say more to "spoil" your watch except that it's really a movie about self discovery.

Health Charity Says Four in 10 People Will Get Cancer
I picked up this piece of news form BBC on Sunday.

Macmillan Cancer Support says a decade ago about a third of people, or 33%, developed cancer at some point in their lives. The charity says that figure has risen to more than 40%.

The estimates are drawn from projections published two years ago in the British Journal of Cancer, which concluded that at the end of 2008 there were two million cancer survivors in the UK and that the figure was rising every year.

About 157,000 people died from the disease, and 89,000 who had been diagnosed with cancer died from other causes, making a total of 246,000 who died "with" cancer. The charity says this accounted for 42% of total deaths in the UK.


  1. Avoid having your ego so close to your position
    that when your position falls your ego goes with it.

    Colin Powell

  2. Pleasantville is so anti-God...preferring to elevate the self to the status of God. The movie shows that God has no meaning in the world.

    If you deem this movie fun to watch, you better find it fun to meet God at the end.

    If you want to know God, ask your friend Liz...don't rely on Hollywood productions!

  3. this "anonymous" guy/gal preaching about Jesus has been all over Chang's board for many days. Can you at least sign with your own name? What would Jesus do in this situation?

    Can you please email me at -- I would like to have a conversation with you as a "concerned believer".


  4. Dear Lanie,

    Thank you for the timely intervention. I believe the theme of the New Testament was about Grace but so far what I saw was intimidation, though one person's action cannot be representative of the majority.

    This is what Gary Ross, Director of Pleasentville have to say about the theme of the movie: "This movie is about the fact that personal repression gives rise to larger political oppression... That when we're afraid of certain things in ourselves or we're afraid of change, we project those fears on to other things, and a lot of very ugly social situations can develop".

  5. Dear Chang,

    My heart is breaking that you are receiving undue stress from a "fellow Jesus follower". Yes, I am glad that you can relate to the Grace being communicated in the New Testament and am so sorry that not all of us are not sharing that Grace in an effective way. But just like you and me, I would like to give this anonymous person an opportunity to introduce himself well and be man or woman enough to lay it all out and become vulnerable for standing up for our faith while dutifully respecting others.. I know am not doing that great job of respecting yours-- but I think a direct attack is more than I can handle for me or for anyone else (including you)..

    am glad you are keeping your composure.


  6. about projecting those fear on others. Ive been there and done that--projecting my own fear on others.. and it wasnt long before I realized that the fingers I pointed to others was pointing back at me.. its a realization that hits you in the face like a tornado and its not a pleasant feeling-- so this anonymous person also concerns me a lot not only because, the tornado may hit him twice if not thrice the force, as he/she is hiding behind anonymity. Its shameful and embarassing! No one is entitled to share a very personal issue (such as faith and spiritualy) behind anonymity. It is down right disrespectful and insensitive.


  7. Suggest CT not allow any annonymous comments then.

    That'll solve all the problems. Better still, vet through before publish.

    That way, your blog is more controlled from people who are sharing God with you!

  8. Hi Chang,
    I am interested in taking up qigong unfortunately am a little held back by the language barrier. I was wondering if you have any recommendations for classes/masters that can teach in English/BM?


  9. Chang, thank you so much for your effort. I really appreciate it.

  10. Dear Nurul,

    If you live in Subang Jaya or surrounding areas, you can come and attend classes on Saturday morning from 7am-9am. You can also go to the qigong center at Jalan PJU1/46 (near Ara Damansara Township) every Saturday from 9am to 12noon too. Classes are taught in English.

    If you can make it to these areas, drop me an email at and I will get you in touch with Khadjiah on how to enroll and how to proceed from here.

    Don't worry, these group of people are very experienced and also helpful. I am quite sure you will feel at home.

    Alternatively, if these areas are not convenient, do let me know where you live and I will talk to Khadijah to put you to the closest center nearest you, if available.

  11. Dear CT,Just keep doing what you have been doing and dont let up,dont change,believe in yourself and keep writing,you are an inspiration to us all,my prayers always for you even if i dont know you personally but you are a fighter and kind person.regards AL MAL.