Feeling Lucky

I restarted my hypnotherapy last evening. I think I last time I met my therapist was in March 2011. She told me that she has always reserved a therapy slot for me and was just waiting for me to call. She asked me how I was doing. I explain to her I am in a tug-of-war. When I first discovered my cancer, the tumor were already leading by 80:20. Then I started the Gerson therapy and managed to gain back some ground to 75:25. Ever since, neither side has made gains but the tumor is still leading. However, in a tug-of-war, it take great effort and energy on my side to maintain status quo. And I have three areas that will deteriorate over time namely a) my will power, b) my energy levels and c) my finances to sustain this therapy. So I have to do whatever is necessary in the meantime to gain back some ground.

You have been hearing me talking about my restless legs. What do I actually mean by that? When I lie down, I feel as if my pair of legs has disappeared! That why, I have to continue to massage it. It could also be a psychological problem.

Anyway, my therapist asked me what are some of the areas that I think is crucial for healing my cancer. I mentioned two areas and then spoke about it. For example, in the first area, I spoke about Fear of Insufficiency. As a therapist, she does not lead me to any conclusion or tell me what I have done is right or wrong or pass judgement. Whatever right or wrong is by my own definition and there are also other ways of looking at things. She was doing a timeline exercise on me, meaning if I had a chance to relive my life all over again with all the knowledge I had now, how would I live differently? This is my homework and she told me that it's going to be a repeated exercise. All in, I had three homework to do.

If I complete my homework, I would possibly meet her again this Thursday if not next Monday. Meanwhile, she has reminded me to do the relaxation exercises that she taught me last year. I also had a chance to talk about my pelvic bone pain with my therapist who is also a medical doctor and she tells me it is most likely the lymph nodes. She work mostly with cancer patients and she gave me a compliment, saying of all her cancer patients, I have the strongest will. Thank you. She also said, she lost some patients when their will power was lost.

Trapped Emotions
I feel very lucky to have attended the Emotion Code Talk and met a very helpful trainer. Thanks to Yeong and Khadijah for arranging the talk. Jade, the trainer has agreed to help me to release a few of my trapped emotions (TE) that are directly related to my cancer. She is also suggesting ways for me to proceed to release other trapped emotions. She said I have a lot of TEs to release! Now that I have learned the technique, it's time to put to good use, starting with myself.