Flashback: First Twelve Months (Part 3)

XOXOXOXOXO

January - June 2010
This period of time can be classified as ups and downs. I experienced quite some pain during this period, especially on my shoulder area. My body is a living apparatus and I listen to it closely. It would send me signals if I ate something wrong. My sister gave me a book on cancer therapy and one of the recommendations was to take apricot seeds which contains vitamin B17. Within two weeks of consumption, I was feeling needle like pain on my ribs and when I stop the consumption immediately, the pain stopped. As such I use my body reaction as an indicator to vary my diet. This is the best I could do since I am on self medication.

In March 2010, I did another CT scan and the radiologist reported that another new tumor of size about 3.5cm was found on my T6 area. If I recalled correctly, the only time I departed from the Gerson diet was when I was in India. I knew from the very start when I followed the Gerson diet, I could not follow it fully. So I added a new complementary Homeopathy therapy in November 2009. Homeopathy does not have dietary requirements. Why is it not helping me? Can only 9 days of normal vegetarian diet makes so much difference?

Healing reactions are bound to happen and in the Gerson protocol most of us patients welcome it although it can be painful and uncomfortable. I had stomach gases problems, fevers, blood clots in phlegm and body pains. Most of the healing reactions occurred from March 2010 onwards.

I do my enema fully naked in the privacy of my own room. However, I experienced something I cannot understand. As I lie in the fetal position for 15 minutes, I began to feel very moody and many a times, I cried too. But I guess when I was lying in the fetal position, it reminded me of my helplessness situation like that of the body of a prenatal fetus. I was feeling sad and a sense of loneliness prevailed but I did not know why.

In an effort to improve my own well being, I started practicing qigong in March. In June, I experimented with the use of snake plant in my juicing. After about 4 weeks of experimentation, I abandoned it because the herb was very cooling and giving me back pains. I was very sensitive to negative developments in my body and would immediately adjust my diet or add some therapies in the hope of improving my condition. This was really stressful because I keep reacting to the situation. Meanwhile, I was also researching on an area called German New Medicine.

July - August 2010
This period of time was my saddest and as doubts began to creep in.

In July, during one of my own self examination sessions, I discovered a new lymph node, the size of a marble just above my left collar bone. Again, I reacted badly.

In August I did another CT scan. The kidney tumor grew 2.5cm to 15cm. During this time, I was also contemplating on whether to proceed with Nephrectomy to remove my kidney tumor. It's going to be a major open surgery. I went over to Singapore to see my oncologist who concluded that my cancer is slowly progressing. My urologist was very confident of the surgery but as before, he said it may not be of any benefit to my body because of the growth of tumors in my lungs. I subsequently secured a surgery date on 22 November 2010 so that I may pursue this option when the time comes. Meanwhile, I added a new therapy, Traditional Chinese Medicine to compliment what I was doing.

I was looking for some answers and decided to take a morning walk one Saturday morning and bumped into an ex-colleague that I have not met for over 10 years. For a moment, I thought she was sick too as she also looked really thin. I later found out she was on a candidia diet. Later she would loan me books to read and said diet is not the only area. Some important areas to address includes the holistic emotional & spiritual aspects, lifestyle changes, self love, family bonding, to relax and let the body heal. If there is any person that I would like to credit for helping me turn around, it is this friend.

It is certainly not easy to do alternative therapies. There journey is long and bumpy. It takes time before you can see any tangible results. If I were to do it all over again, would I still do the same? I would make several changes. I would hire a therapist to assist me in my mental and emotional aspects. I would registered with some cancer support group to help me out instead of going it all alone. I would hire a maid to help me out. However, I would still start the Gerson therapy on my own for a few months to make sure I am capable of following the strict Gerson diet. After that, I would immediately go to a Gerson Clinic in Mexico or Hungary to get proper guidance and supervision. Thereafter I would continue the therapy at home.

In the end, there is so much I can do. There will sure be some misses, the could haves. But so long as I did my best, I can live with that.