Thursday, February 10, 2011

Slowly But Surely

My recent posts and in particular yesterday's post seems to evoke quite some response from some readers. I really appreciate you all taking your time to comment and share your thoughts. I hope you will continue to share just as I have.

Last night, I had my second dose of low dose naltrexone (LDN). But this time, I just slept perhaps due to the lack of sleep the night before. This morning, I also noticed I did not have back pain. Could this have anything to do with LDN? It does not matter, I am just enjoying the reprieve. Hey, I want more please.

This is just my daily journal, I just blog daily how my body feels and what happened. It's a frank disclosure of my learning to pick up the pieces of my life arising from a no hope medical condition. I was and still am unprepared and unorganised as I started. There is no track to follow, each step could to lead to something new or a dead end. I make a u-turn and start again if the situation allows.

You may say I have been in existence for the past 50 years but I only started learning to live the last few months. My existence is in programmed mode, just going through the motions of the day. This cancer has forced me to change my life. I am still learning to cope with this journey because I keep discovering so many new things (at least to me), some of which I don't know how to handle.

I am thankful to my friends and also to readers like you who cared and took the time to share with me your thoughts and experiences, thereby making the steep learning learn curve easier. I am least comfortable when dealing with emotional stuffs, they seems rocket science to me. I had the fortune to meet a friend who patiently went through and explained to me some of the emotions that I am going through. She says there are still more work to be done and I agree. For me, the process seems painfully slow but is necessary step not just for my healing but for my spiritual well being as well.

Well, so much of theory but do I walk the talk? I try to do as much as I can. I spent an average of about two hours of my evenings doing self motivation and another hour for chanting Buddhist prayers and mantras.

Oh, one more thing. Me giving up? Never! But do allow me to lament and whine a bit. It's therapeutic.

No comments:

Post a Comment