Friday, February 11, 2011

Taking A Break

Yesterday I took a much longer time to fall asleep, but so much better than the first day. I guess my 3rd dose of low dose naltrexone (LDN) is still give me sleeping problems. Hopefully, my body will adjust as it get use to to LDN. One thing is for sure now, the LDN gives me a very dry mouth. For three days in a row, since taking LDN, I found this out when I get up for my night urine. I guess will have to drink some water after my night urine. As part of the Gerson protocol, I normally do not drink any water. I also did not have any back pain problem this morning.

I am kind of tired today and as such I will make my posting short and take a break.


  1. I'm glad the LDN is helping with your back pain. Do you notice your mood to be more elevated in general? I've read that LDN is supposed to "reset" your body's normal release of and response to endogenous endorphins.

    I've been thinking about your post from yesterday. I think sometimes even your readers don't want you to express unhappy thoughts (maybe me too?) in the same way that your family or friends will want you to keep a positive attitude always. But for me expressing the feelings allows me to move beyond them.

    There is a stereotype that permeates my own society. I call it the "Super Survivor" stereotype. It's like Lance Armstrong. The idea that a person experiences his "battle with cancer" as life-affirming and emerges as a stronger person with more zest for life than ever. Suddenly the Super Survivor starts running marathons or climbing the Himalayas. This person always has a positive attitude and is a shining example for all the rest of us. That's a lot to live up to!

    I've read Joseph Campbell's book "The Hero with a Thousand Faces", and watched the interviews that Bill Moyer's did with him years ago called "The Power of Myth". I think the Super Survivor is another God-man myth. In cultures across the globe, we have stories that follow a similar story arc... The hero receives a call to adventure, he refuses the call, receives supernatural aid, endures various trials and tribulations, usually ascends some sort of mountain and receives wisdom, and returns home. Think about the stories of Jesus, Buddha, Oysseus, Superman, Harry Potter, etc... These hero stories can inspire us, but we have to remember that they are stories about an ideal. Lance Armstrong is only human afterall.

  2. Dear CT,

    There may be some truth in what Emily said about people wanting you to keep a positive attitude always. But realistically, even people without sicknesses can't keep their moods up every single day. And yes, that Super Survivor stereotype may be a myth that we want to see happen.
    However, you have by your own admission started in the past few months to express those pent up emotions which you had no clue earlier. That is encouraging.
    I think sometimes it is not that we don't want you to express negative emotions. We do want you to express and move on as Emily said because it is also an important part of the healing process. I think what happens when you express negative feelings is that people start to panic a bit and are afraid that you sink lower and remain there. So they start giving advice to 'get you out'. This may or may not work but it is out of their fears as well as need to help.
    I am all for the expression of emotions, positive and negative. They are what makes us human and keeps us sane. It is only the manner in which we do it that we need to be careful about.

  3. "Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a person deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost"

    — Thomas Merton

  4. Just a more words from me...

    The Dalai Lama reminds all,“As long as there is a lack of the inner discipline that brings calmness of mind, no matter what external facilities or conditions you have, they will never give you the feeling of joy and happiness that you are seeking. On the other hand, if you possess this inner quality of calmness of mind, a degree of stability within, then even if you lack various external facilities that you would normally consider necessary for happiness, it is still possible to live a happy and joyful life.”

  5. "Not only must you die in the end, but you do not know when the end will come. If you did, you could put off preparing for the future. Even if you show signs of living to a ripe old age, you cannot say with one hundred percent certainty that today you will not die.

    If you develop an appreciation for the uncertainty and imminence of death, your sense of the importance of using your time wisely will get stronger and stronger."

    His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama

    Why do I share this with you? Because, like you, I am also very tired.