Tuesday, February 15, 2011


Since I started taking the low dose naltrexone (LDN), I have been sleeping much later. I would fall asleep between 12midnight and 1am. This is a bit taxing for me because I am not able to get up by 6.45am the next day. I feel very sleepy and most days, I would wake up only at 7.45am. As a result, my schedule for the morning is always behind time. By 11am, I would feel very sleepy and would take a nap. By 2pm, I would also feel very tired so I would normally have to take another nap as well.

Yesterday afternoon, while I was resting on the bed, I felt some throbbing pain around my right abdomen area. This is not the first time. The pain emanates from the front. The last time I experience excruciating pain from my kidney tumor was at the back.

Well, Chinese New Year is almost over. I thought this year, I would not go out visiting so much but in the end, I ended up traveling much more than last year. Besides visiting my brother and sisters, I had quite a number of reunion lunches with my ex colleagues and childhood friends. It's good to keep in touch because we would meet only about once a year. It's really nice of them taking the trouble to meet me. Thank you all for your well wishes for my speedy recovery.


  1. CT,

    I hope you don't mind me saying this but I don't know what to make of many of your readers and friends who silently follow your blog each day and yet never leave a word to encourage. Someone previously commented that the path you are travelling has no trail; you need to leave one behind. I appeal to all followers of this blog to just leave a comment to cheer up as it can get pretty lonely for CT to talk to his keyboard each day. It does not cost you anything but I know that it will mean the world to CT and perhaps even play an indirect role in the healing process. Like they say, you need to try everything. So come on everyone!

    There is a saying that goes, "The I in illness is isolation, and the crucial letters in wellness are we."

    We can leave a word, a sentence to strengthen him and sustain him. Lets give CT no excuse to get tired - give him something to look forward to each day.

    Let's do it!

  2. CT,

    Been following your blog for a while, leaving you a joke for the first time for a change. Hope you have a good laugh.

    An old guy walks into a bar in Bangsar for a couple of drinks and as he was sitting alone and drinking, he noticed a sexy young lady sitting in a corner alone and staring at him.

    He quickly gulps down a couple of neats and gathering enough courage walks up to her and says, "Excuse me, ma'am...I'm Jim from Bukit Kiara. "Can I sit here and buy you a drink?"

    The young chic agrees and soon both of them are drinking away like good old friends.

    Then after everything is through Jim and the young lady walked out of the bar.

    Again gathering courage albeit slightly drunk, he asked her, "Exschhcuse me, ma'am, can we have s*x please?"

    The lady says, "Well I don't mind, but you see I'm on my menstrual cycle"

    "No problem lah" says Jim, "You proceed on your menstrual cycle, I will follow you closely in my BMW!"

    You take care, CT.

  3. Chinese New Year might be coming to an end soon but a new spring is just beginning for you Chang!

  4. Just a poem I picked up from somewhere:

    When all about you is black with gloom,
    And all you feel is pending doom.
    When your bones are racked with grim despair -
    When every breath is a gasp for air.
    Keep on going, though you need to grope,
    For around the bend is a ray of hope.

    A ray of hope is perhaps all that's left,
    As your will to live has been bereft.
    You've lost it all, it's just no use!
    You can end it all, you need no excuse.
    But throw away that piece of rope,
    And give yourself a chance of hope.

    Just give yourself another day,
    Brushing aside what your thoughts may say.
    This is your life and you can make a new start,
    By ignoring the brain - just follow the heart.
    Taking baby steps in order to cope,
    And minute by minute you'll build on your hope.

    Build on your hope,. one day at a time,
    Though the road be steep and hard to climb.
    The hurts of the past - they should be dead.
    The fears of the future are all in your head.
    Just live in the present and refuse to mope
    Your life will sparkle for you're living in hope.

    Get well soon!

  5. CT,

    You remind me of Forest Gump who said in one part of the movie... "When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went."

    Keep livin' man. Stay alive

  6. Chang,

    Continue to stay as determined as the rabbit. Confucius said that....It really does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

    Your never-say-die mentality has taken you so far. I pray that you will hop around for many more years to come.

    God Bless!


  7. CT,

    Keep battling for victory!

  8. The Chinese character for ‘anger’ is written as 怒. It is composed of 奴 which means ‘slave’ and 心 meaning ‘heart’. When one gets angry, one becomes the slave of one’s heart. Self-control is needed for the anger in one’s heart to be subdued.

    When one has love, one does not get angry. The traditional Chinese character for love is written as 愛. There is a heart (心) in the centre; above the heart are family members under the same roof; and below it friends (友). One loves them with one’s heart.

    The word heart (心) is in the two Chinese characters: anger (怒) and love (愛). The former brings enmity while the latter, friendship.

    CT, live to love and love will heal you in time.

    Hong Kong

  9. Selamat berjaya, CT!

  10. Loved your sharing these last few days. Lots of heart! Be strong.


  11. Bro,

    If anyone can do this, its you!

  12. CT,

    Nothin's over till you say its over, mate!

  13. Chang,
    May the force be with you and in you.

    I send you some energy now. OOOhhhhmmmm.


  14. CT, I am sorry to know that you're experiencing more pain and having trouble waking. I try more meditation when I'm going through a difficult time with pain and worries. I hope it helps you to know that you have so many people all around the world who are thinking of you and wishing you well.

  15. My friend,

    I am one of those childhood friends who have been reading your blog every day. Reading your entry on "Flashback First 12 months" brings me back memories when you told me about yr condition. You were strong willed and stubborn then. You had completed marathons and this is one marathon that you need to complete. Go and cry as much as you want but you still have to continue the journey after you had finished crying.

    Fight and be focussed.

    You need to be cured not just for yourself but for your wife, daughters and your parents, not forgetting your promise to me that you would get well.