Flashback: First Twelve Months

I think I am getting used to low dose naltrexone (LDN), although I did take a much longer time to fall asleep, I have no problems sleeping. I hope my back pain is a thing of the past but today, I developed a headche. This is apparently, another side effect. I felt better after a self massage around the temple area.

My first encounter with cancer was in my teens when I visited my sick relative in hospital. She had cervical cancer and I visited her days before she passed on. I vividly remember that she was really frail looking, white hair, balding and the most scary part was she was really thin to the bones. I had also seen her in her pre-cancer days. It took a while, but soon like all painful events, forgotten.

When the doctor first told me that I had untreatable stage 4 kidney cancer and sent me home, I did not know how to respond. Shocked was too mild of a word. I sat outside the hospital for two hours thinking what to do while waiting for the rain to stop. What am I gonna do? I think my survival instincts kicked in and offered myself hope by saying I will cure myself. But I have no clue even how to begin.

I told my wife, brother and sisters about my cancer and they too were at a loss what to do. Of course I was very very sad and could not control my emotions and cried. However, to prevent my parents from knowing my condition, I requested my wife, children, brother and sisters not to discuss my condition while at my patent's home. Discussion about my condition with my brother and sisters took place outside of the house.

The First 60 days
The first thing I did was to get second opinion. Subsequently I consulted more doctors to see if I have other treatment options but they all leads to one conclusion, no cure; whatever treatment is just to lengthen my life span of a few months. I was only given 6 months to live.

I was really stressed out thinking what to do. I had booked a free and easy trip to Hangzhou, China a year ago and decided to proceed with the trip in mid September 2009, perhaps my last trip I thought.

I came back from the holiday and decided to quit my banking job to earn my life back. Google was my starting point as I searched for alternative medications. Meanwhile, I also told my close friends about my condition. It was by chance that I stumbled on the Gerson therapy while on the last few days at my office but I was not sure if it was for me because I only managed to get some basic documentation on healing cancer. Meanwhile, I met my brother and passed him the documentation. I also did something I thought I would never do. Never say never. I started urine therapy. I drank my first urine of the day!

I received a lot of suggestions and recommendations from friends. One group of friends sent me some information on potential therapies but I was not convinced. The second group sent me videos of God's miracles and the third group, my Buddhist friends recommended I hasten my meditation practice. I realised that the second and third group of friends wants me to prepare for my afterlife.

Two weeks passed and I still have not started any therapy. Time was running out. I have begun to start losing weight. During the third week, I managed to get hold of Dr Max Gerson's The Cancer Therapy book. After discussing it with my brother, I decided to follow the therapy. I took my parents (who still did not know of my condition) out for dinner and I had my last meaty meal. One of the dishes I ordered was clay pot crab rice. It really looked good but the taste was just average. The very next day, I turn vegetarian. I took normal vegetarian food. At the time, I still did not know where to buy organic stuffs. Prior to my cancer, I have never eaten in an organic shop or restaurant before.

Thus began my new diet adventure. Buying vegetables proved not to be much of a problem but buying a good juicer and getting the Gerson suplements was much more difficult. I began the forth week on a normal vegetarian diet but still have not started juicing yet. By now, I have lost about 3kg of my weight.

To be continued...