I had the unfortunate opportunity to relive the experience again in 2009 when my the majority of my doctors told me that is nothing more they could do for me. I was still working then and as I was having lunch with my ex-colleagues, I told them about my cancer. I told them I am going to quit my job and look for treatment. One of them told me that if she had cancer, she would work till her last day. May as well earn as much as possible in the meantime. Another told me to enjoy life as if tomorrow was my last day. Still another took me to see a fortune teller. I asked the fortune teller if there was any major health problems that I would be facing now. Oh, that fortune teller could not "see" my cancer. Later I told him I had cancer and he was surprised because he says it was not in the readings! Frankly, I did not know what to do other than to look for alternative treatment. I chance upon the movie "The Bucket List" and saw what other people did. Got some ideas. Was also preparing for my eventual death in a few months time. During this period, I was really depressed and emotionally exhausted. Of course, I did not die within the next six months. A breath of hope came back to my life. I gained more confidence in my therapy.
As if not enough, now I may have to revisit the same experience again, for the third time! Luck really deserted me, not that I had it in the first place. I am in the second phase of my journey. Cancer has spread and some therapies are not working. There are not much options left. After that, then what? Coming full circle again. When you invests in the stock market and hope the stock price will rise, then the hope is nothing but gambling. Pure luck. Still for me, there is only hope (= pure luck = miracle) left. But luck has deserted me! Aiya, I am over indulging again. Helps me release some stress and correct some emotional imbalances.