Monday, March 26, 2012

Doomed To Repeat

Yesterday, I received two emails, one from a friend and another from a reader but their theme of the emails are the same. Someone close they know has cancer. In the first email, it was a new case of prostate cancer of a 61 year old man from Perth. In the second email, it was a breast cancer relapse after many years ago. The gentleman wrote "... And all the medication she has been takin was not effective. Now, she is undergoing chemo. Even her first 3 chemo were ineffective and now they have to try another form of stronger chemo. Reading what u write somehow gives me strength to face this situation. I never expected this to happen to the person I love most in my life, and when i found out, i was just devastated." Finding out someone close to you have cancer is probably as hard to take as the cancer patient himself or herself. I am glad to be able to help, offering some comfort and also some suggestions. But I think it is equally important that healthy people be aware of cancer, the conventional and alternative treatments available. Often, when you start to read and find out then, it's not going to be easy with all those emotions running in the head. Please do not take things for granted. This is not to mean that one of your close one is going to have cancer. I hope and pray that nobody else get cancer in this world. Although that is wishful thinking, but I think, its still a dedication that I would like to make.

Yesterday, I also received another email from a regular reader who told me that she has been using IL-2 which is sourced from China at a fraction of the cost that I reported. She has been administering IL-2  to her mum on a daily basis. I am encouraged by the news and has sought her help through her uncle (another cancer survivor in remission) who is going to China to procure the medication. Once I get the details, I will email my friend in Hong Kong for some suggestion and as well as my doctor in New York for confirmation.

I have been on Melatonin for two nights already and I don't particular find it helpful in getting me to sleep faster. Maybe that is because I took only 2.5mg per night. I can sleep on my own without any aid.

How time flies. Around the corner is Qing Ming or Tomb Sweeping Day or All Souls Day which falls on 4th April, 2012 (normally on 5th April). I have been visiting my grandfather's grave since I was a little kid and since 1991, my grandmother's grave as well. My parents have decided to perform Qing Ming Wednesday morning at 6am. Like last year, this year I will also go. Going to the graveyard early morning is challenging, especially in the olden days when trees and overgrown shrubs covers the ground and graves. Also the slightest sound, one's heartbeat would pound. But as I grew older, I began to have no fear of the dark places.  Qing Ming is actually a gathering of descendants who will normally converge and perform ancestral worship. Now days, what used to be a solemn gathering has turned into a celebration. Lots of food to eat, laughing and even playing with firecrackers. If I were six feet underground, I also would like them to celebrate life. Anyway, my ashes will be thrown somewhere in Cameron Highlands where I can roam the highlands freely, go to that part of the highlands that I have never been. No grave for me. Never like to be boxed up.


  1. Neither do I. Never like to be boxed up.


  2. Just curious, or perhaps a silly question to you Chang.

    What if a person having cancer but never get himself or herself diagnosed as one cancer patient, and life still carry on like normal? Would you think this is possible?

    I learned from a lecture of a monk that Buddhism in its purest form is all about recognising 'suffering' and how to 'rid of suffering'. Having a desease like cancer is 'suffering' and why one got it (but not others got it) is crucial in 'recognising' suffering. Only when one recognised 'suffering', one would explore how to rid of this suffering.

    Again, it is easier said then done when one is not in the shoe of a cancer patient like you, Chang. But, I personally believe recognising and understanding of 'suffering' is crucial in relieving the hardship one faces.


    1. Hi Gary,

      Many people live with cancer undiagnosed for many years. Some cancers take about 15 years to grow to a detectable size and continues to grow and spread until such a time when the cancer symptoms start to show. By then, it will normally be late stage cancer.

      The lecture you learned from the monk are part of the Four Nobel Truths. Many cancer patients ask "why me?" and I can tell you that the patient can spend the rest of his or her life trying to find the answer and will still not find it. My view is that the origin of suffering (Second Noble Truth) is attachment to the idea of "self". You attached "I have cancer" and feel punished. Actually fishes and animals also get cancer, not just human. How does knowing why I got cancer and not others helps? It creates more suffering isn't it?

      In Vipasanna meditation, when you observe an object in the mind, you just acknowledge and let it pass. You don't associate self with the object. If you don't do that, you create attachments that leads to suffering. If you let it pass, you see the true nature of things.

      I hope you understand how this part of Buddhism helps me to deal with my cancer.

    2. Hi

      My grandmother died in her sleep in her house, alone we all say - die of old age. She had a stroke years back which did not deter her from walking with a drag from the front of the house all the way to the back kitchen, lift pails of water from the well for her baths each day, start fire on an old stove with wood to boil water, cook... Each day she makes 2 pots of coffee one placed in the kitchen and another outside the front door. She spends her time smoking and drinking coffee several hours in the morning and evening.
      During the autopsy, the doctor have reported that her lungs, stomach, small intestines and colon have turned "black" and having growths.
      Is that cancer? Of course, we did not bother confirming.
      I am sure my grandma died happily in her own house amidst the fact she walked with a drag, enjoys her loads of kopi O and cigarettes over the years. I remember so well spending my holidays there since I was 10.
      Yes, I believe sometimes we should focus on living life to the fullest, at an old age should we be worrying whether it is cancer and can we "cure" ourselves spending the money saved over the years and live years more....
      Chang...thanks for the advice - Ai Wee dont worry too much.

  3. I would like to know what your doctor in the USA has advised you. You have written about three drugs. Is there anything else that he has advised you to do?

    I came across the therapy using a combination of rife and heat by . It sounds interest ing. I'm in the process of making a rife harmonic machine. The parts are shipped from USA and canada.

    1. Hi John,

      Basically, that's about what he recommended to me to do.

      I read that some clinics in Germany offers hyperthermia with rife frequency generators. This combination of treatment is normally combined with other treatments including low dose chemotherapy.

      You can use hyperthermia and rife frequency generators to treat normal people for the purpose of improving health. Well good luck to your project.

  4. Hi Chang,

    Thanks for your reply.

    If we know what suffering is and how to rid of it, then many of us would have becoming a Buddha by now. That's why Buddha is so great.

    Come to think of this, even if it is impossible for us to be like Buddha, following his path is the solution for us to 'lessen' our suffering if not 'rid' of it. I believe you understand this, if not you would not have come this far.

    It is not the 'desease' that make us suffer if we really think deeper into this, but our 'body' that make us suffer. No body, no suffer. A healthy body without decease would also make us suffer, and of course in different degree and perspective. The more we attach (or desire) our body, the more we suffer because of this 'attachment'.

    That's why sometime I think it is not useful to seek medical treatment but to train up our mind to live with our body, like what you mentioned about meditation.

    Whatever, Law of Karma works on everyone of us, you and me inclusive. Strengthening our karmic forces is the solution, in fact, the only solution to rid of these sufferings.

    Some do believe their God can do miracle, but it is actually karmic forces that do the tricks. After all, believing and having faith in God without doing good deeds doesn't help at all, right?