I think the key to moving on is acceptance of the ways things are now. There are somethings you can still do. Change the way you live your life in future. You can also change your job, your home, your car and even your spouse. But there are some things that cannot be changed. You can't change what happened in the past and you can't say I have no cancer. The idea is to focus on now, the present. Don't worry if the past will repeat itself. Lessons will have been learned. No point screaming and kicking what should have been. If possible, remove "should" from the vocabulary and never make a sentence with the word anymore. Forgive myself and move forward.
There will never be a right circumstances because life is not perfect. It's not about perfection but how to live in such imperfect circumstances and make the best out of it. Why are we so obsessed with being right? Because we project an identity image to everyone around us and protect our ego. Even in cancer treatment, we want the right treatment. Is there a right treatment? If I reflect on the important areas, aspects, and relationships in my life right now, I can see how I overly focused on being right so much so things turn out wrong. I suppose the answer to unlock this problem is to be real rather than being right. Being real of my own shortcomings, anger, fear, expectations and everything I do. Live a simpler life and be much happier.
I received an email from a friend and she gave to much credit as if I was a guru. I am just a beginner. Actually, my cancer has brought me awareness and it was a life changing experience for me. A psychologist said it is through service to others that we can most easily produce transformative changes--not only in those we help, but also in ourselves. Another friend complained. To slow. You never change. But I have taken the first step.