Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Alone Again Naturally

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
Ronnie Shakes

I am happy as more and more of you are leaving comments on my blog. Please keep it coming.

I have meet some very good people here and it's sad that our short assoication will have to come to an end when all will have to leave home at the end of our stay here. I guess like all things, there will be an end, good and bad. Time passes rather quickly and this is my last week of stay here. Have I made any progress? I am not sure. I feel good. Tomorrow I will be doing my blood test, the second since I came here. I hope to see some improvements, at least on my Thyroid Simulation Hormones (TSH) reading which went hyperactive causing some swelling on my neck, increase in appetite and loss of weight.

When I started the Gerson therapy, my concentration has been based on facts that I read, not paying attention to some other mental elements that are also important, at least it seems now to me. Positive thinking has been the advice so often given to me. Seek what's deep inside of me, is it causing me to behave in certains ways such as the way I live, love and trust? But what is my inner self? Is it something spiritual, emotional or mythical in nature? I don't really know but hope to find out. I realised that many of my problems arose from a fundamental disconnection with my own awareness of what's going on inside of me and of people around me. This disconnection may cause conflict, a simple relationship irritation, or it can be more serious causing us anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, fixation and a host of other problems. It also affect me in how I respond to help and healing of the disease. There is so much more thinking to do, or rather so much more unlearning and relearning to do. Can't teach old dog new tricks? I certaintly hope not.

Having cancer has caused me to believe that we are a special group of people. Nobody else will understand us, not even our close family members and friends. As a result, we cause ourselves to feel alineated. We turn away our family and friends who are trying to help and the journey to battle the disease seems lonely, our own fight. I have read of this in many of the other cancer patients' blog. It seems to convince me that many cancer patients feels this way. I have been reminded that it does not have to be this way. I don't believe there is not a single soul in this world who have not experienced some form of pain in their lives. Yes, they may not be in the same degree as cancer patients but they know what pain is like. By allowing people to come into my life, being more open about my feelings and fears would certainly be a better approach, at least I know now, after having bumped my head into the wall many times.


  1. Hi Chang,
    So glad to hear u r coping well in Tijuana. Do keep warm. I actually wear socks n scarves even in hot Malaysia. I am praying for u n as u seek n search deep within, i pray u will find the truth n the truth will set u free.
    2 Praise the LORD, my soul,
       and forget not all his benefits—
    3 who forgives all your sins
       and heals all your diseases,
    4 who redeems your life from the pit
       and crowns you with love and compassion,
    5 who satisfies your desires with good things
       so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

     6 The LORD works righteousness
       and justice for all the oppressed.

     7 He made known his ways to Moses,
       his deeds to the people of Israel:
    8 The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
       slow to anger, abounding in love.
    9 He will not always accuse,
       nor will he harbor his anger forever;
    10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve
       or repay us according to our iniquities.
    11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
       so great is his love for those who fear him;

    Praying for your quick healing. God bless, Liz

  2. Thank you for writing this. I think I sometimes have dwelled too long with the feelings of "aloneness". And you are right that allowing caring people in is a much better approach than shutting them out. I suppose we can all feel sorry for ourselves sometimes, but that emotional state does not serve our healing process.