Monday, December 27, 2010

After Travel Blues

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
Henri Matisse

Ever since I coughed blood in Mexico, I think something is cooking in my lungs. It seems to be congested everyday and yesterday, I cough another blood stained tissue out. The only consolation was that I did not cough fresh blood. Today was also a difficult day for me. After doing my morning enema, I had my breakfast. After that I was having some difficulty coughing that was followed by the slow and irregular heartbeat. Breathing was a little difficult and I lied down to rest. I felt better by lunch time. However, more pain was to come. I was experiencing some pain around my lymph node on left collar bone for the first time when I was doing my afternoon enema. I thought things would be better after this but it was not to be. Immediately after dinner, I suddendly felt the urge to vomit and my stomach was churning for no apparent reason. Breathing slowed down and heartbeat irregular. Again I had to lie down on the bed to rest.

I must admit, despite having 14 months of experience in the Gerson Therapy (GT) at home, I was still not prepared to handle the new routine demanded by the clinic. The 13 hourly juices was too much and I had trouble keeping pace. My mother who is also my caregiver all this while has been supporting me to prepare my lunches and dinners. If not for her, I would have not be able to do the GT. Since coming back from Mexico, I have been requesting her to try some of the new recipes and this have given her even more work. While I can tell she is very happy to help her son to do whatever she can, I on the other hand feel guilty. At her golden age, she is taking care of me instead of the other way around. I am not keeping count and letting these moments flow. You may say mother and son bonding. Someone once told me, if not now, when? Mother, thank you for unrelentless support.


  1. I hope someone can read this to her. I am sure as a mom she is not looking for praise. She loves you dearly. Good of you to publicly acknowledge her love and support.

  2. dear chang,
    i believe your mom is only too glad to help and that she'll have it no other way. Get off the guilt trip. There's no room for it on this road to recovery(as long as your conscience is clear). Give her this chance to gather some good karma.


  3. A poem on a mother's love by Helen Steiner Rice for you. Truly, without mothers, where will we be?...who will we be?... We will not have it any other way and I believe, neither will they, you, their flesh and blood... Cheer up, mate! This journey is not the end and we are pilgrims all the same...what matters is the destination where we will all be united with the Creator.

    A Mother's love is something
    that no on can explain,

    It is made of deep devotion
    and of sacrifice and pain,

    It is endless and unselfish
    and enduring come what may

    For nothing can destroy it
    or take that love away . . .

    It is patient and forgiving
    when all others are forsaking,

    And it never fails or falters
    even though the heart is breaking . . .

    when the world around condemns,

    And it glows with all the beauty
    of the rarest, brightest gems . . .

    it defies all explanation,

    And it still remains a secret
    like the MYSTERIES OF CREATION . . .

    A many splendoured miracle

    And another wondrous evidence
    of GOD'S tender guiding hand.

  4. My mother cared for me too. It is a mother's heart for their children. Just receive her love. :) after 8 months I was stronger and I started cooking by myself. Occasionally, I still go to her for wholesome home cooking. It has been 3 months since I shared I coughed blood too and the scan showed majority of nodules reduced. I started coughing more too after that and now i think a lot of mucus has cleared up, I have also not seen fresh blood anymore. Praise the lord! So, I think it is just the body's normal reaction coping to the healing. Will continue to pray for your quick healing. :) Blessed Christmas and a happy and healthy new year! :) oh please share your new recipes.