Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Clock Is Ticking

It was a little to early to claim a pain free day yesterday. After lunch, the side of my right upper thighs was swamped with light needle like pain and I had to use my hands to massage to get some relief. By 6pm, I had developed some minor gastric problem and after consuming Capsule A+B,it became worst. However, after dinner, the gastric pain subsided but there was some throbbing pain around the lower right rib area.

I spoke to the CA Care consultant, Khatijah at Subang Jaya Center and was told that one of the healing reaction is that the problem area would be painful and this should be considered as a positive development.

I have been coughing off and on but so far, the coughs are short and I don't think it will develop further.

To Do Or Not To Do ? - Part I
I will be meeting the 5th urologist today afternoon. Basically this meeting is to get an opinion from the urologist as to the viability of removing my right tumor kidney. Other areas covered includes the risk of the operation itself, the most likely type of proceudre that will be used, post operation and recovery issues. Earlier I wondered if I should find out from the urologist the survival rate of his patients after surgery with similar situation as me. I have pondered over it for a week, I think this is an important question and the information will be very useful for me to consider in the decision making.

Cancer Support
When I was first told of cancer, I was shocked but when the doctor told me that he has no cure for me, I was beyond shock. But soon the realities set in and while waiting for the rain to stop in one corner of the verendah, I broke down and sat there for two hours pondering what I should do. I wish sometimes at moments like this, there is a warm hand to hold, someone experiened to guide and provide support.

I had always wanted to have some form of cancer support group but as I found out, not many cancer patients are open to discuss their problems openly and possibly a one to one support would be more useful. It has been said, you don't need to become a millionaire before you can donate. Similarly I believe one need not need to be fully recovered to provide cancer support. So long as one has the capacity, one can reach out to these people to share their stories, stresses, worries and celebrations.

I have been fortunate up till now (and hopefully for a long time to come), my therapies have been quite effective and have been able to lead quite a normal life without any restriction of mobility. It is also on this basis that many of my friends saw it as an opportunity for me help out other junior (people who contacted cancer later than me) patients, to provide some form of encouragement and support. I am honoured that I am able to contribute and hopefully make a little difference in their lives.

So far I have had exchanges with six people and I will be meeting the 7th this Sunday. She has breast cancer and Ms Tai, my former colleague has asked me to see her. As a fellow cancer patient, this is the least I could do.


  1. Bro. Chang, I at last managed to get your blog from Kong just now. I really felt sad when I heard about your illness from Yap, especially the stage of your cancer. However, from your blog, I can say you do not accept defeat but has very strong will power. From what I read and from Buddhist point of view, the state of the mind in patient with such disease plays a very important part in the recovery. I remember our late Chief Rev. Dhammananda told us that when his doctor broke the news to him that he had cancer of the prostate, he just laugh it off. Puzzled, the doctor commented that this is the 1st time his patient reacted in such way as all his patients will be in total shock and broke down. He told the doctor "Sickness is only in the mind" What he means is that if you don't allow the sickness to overwhelm you, part of the big battle is won. Many people got sickness due to the bad emotional state of the mind accumulated over a long period of time. This has thrown the normal body function into disarray and sickness will set in. I read about the potency of sour sop fruit great healing power against cancer. Hope you will try it out as it was claimed to be 10,000 more effective than chemeopathy.
    Have a good day then...Cheers.
    From: Bro. Lim (MMG) email: limkheng@yahoo.com

  2. Greetings Bro Lim,

    Well how time files since we last met in Saudi Arabia. I hope everything is fine in Dammam. Hey, I do miss a bit of Al-Khobar and The Corniche areas. And thanks for looking after me while I was there.

    As Buddhist, I believe the cancer is not a random event and happens for a reason. I have come to terms with my cancer. Now some of my friend are shocked to see me talking about my cancer so casually. That's because I have overcomed some of the fears associated with cancer. As the day progresses, I become more confident notwithstanding some discomforts. I do not care about the past coz it's gone and the future has not arrived yet. I live in the present moment!

    Thanks for your recommendation and I am following some therapies that I think has been quite effective. Technically I should have expired 7 months ago but here I am celebrating life. I even outlived ALL my doctor's patients who did conventional treatment. One of the reason why I am still around is my will to live and with a strong mind, the journey becomes slightly easier.

    When you are in town, please do contact me. Take care. May you be well and happy always.