Tiring Day

This morning I weight and gained back 2kgs. Although I was diligent eating from dawn to dust, I don't think I can gain so much back in just a day. I think the weighing machine might not be correct when I took my weight yesterday because my kids and wife also said their weight fluctutate too much in a day. Anyway I will monitor further over the next few days.

I did some simple repairs to the roof of the Green Room this morning, a room extension of the house. Of late, the constant heavy rain in early evening has cause the joints of the roof to leak. So I used a plastic sheet to cover the affected roof tiles while waiting for a more permanent solution. After that I trimed some plants and flowers. All in I took 30 minutes or so but the strain of the work was a bit too much for me. I had to have at least 2 hours to recover, meanwhile panting away. It reminded me of about 4 years ago when I did heavy work and I would experience similar strain. Some of my friends asked me what other symptoms I have before my tumor discovery, I would like to suggest that you take a medical check-up if you did some work but the heavy strain does not commensurate with the efforts. It is likely that you have something extra in the body.

Arising from the above work, my muscles around the shoulder and arm hurts. So I have to do some self message. Today I also noticed some additional sharp but a few seconds of pain every now and then around the right kidney area. It has not happen before. I am not sure if this has to do with the work or the constant coffee enema that I am doing where I lie on the right side. This pain is not the same as I experienced earlier just prior to my discharge of blood during urination that led to the discovery of the tumor. That was really unbearable, so much so I need to take a jab of pain killer. I hope the pain will go off by tomorrow.

The coffee enema for the last few days was difficult after the break. I could not hold for more than 10 minutes for the first enema of the day. I also noticed a smell on the dischange and also on my body. This must be the oil that I had taken while in India. I did not have this smell in the past. I met some locals while on the train in India and he said that most traders do not use quality oil. Perhaps this could be the reason.

Back to a bit of Sutent. My urologist was not too keen to recommend me any form of treatment because his existing two patients on the program are not responding. He said they spend a lot of money. Sutent does not cure but control the disease besides giving side effects. So this means and if the drug work for you, you must continue to use it. The costs is about RM22K per month. My financial ability (sell the house and car) will probably last me 2+ years of treatment. After that what happens? Obviously even if my whole family members do not eat and my brothers and sisters also chip in, I will still not be able to continue. This drug in my opinion only treat the symptoms and not the cause. That's why I have not chosen this path. Actually even if I wanted, I could not afford it. I know my life is involved but my family also need to live. It's not an easy decision but this is the Buddhist way.