Satruday In The Park

This morning, I decided to follow a friend to attend another qigong group at the neighborhood park. I was ushered into a smaller group since this was my first time there. I did tell my new teacher that this is my first time here and previously I had followed another qigong group elsewhere. No sooner I introduced myself to the new teacher, he was "attacking" me from the start. I thought to myself, what's going on? Despite telling him I previously practiced Chi Lei qigong elsewhere and he keep asking me what breathing techniques I learned. I told him we don't have any special breathing exercise and he took a swipe at qigong that does not have special breathing exercises. He then defended his action by saying that he did not want potential students, due to they own weakness in understanding, would say this qigong is not good and the student did not achieve results and tarnish the name. I find this way of introduction really stressful.

But I did see the sincerity of this man who is genuinely out to teach potential students the proper way to learn qigong. He was very diligent in his demonstration and explanation to ensure that I got it right for the first time. I had my first breathing exercise and then added some legs and hand movements along with it. After observing me for a while, he left me alone to practice. I think after practicing for about 1 hour, I had to stop because I was getting very tired. I got up from the bench and sat upright trying to gain my composure back. Then I started coughing profusely and subsequently, I coughed out some blood. I am not sure if this is a good sign or not.

Then I decided to tell my new teacher that I was a terminal cancer patient. I also asked if there is anything about this qigong that I should not be doing. All of a sudden, the atmosphere of equality became one of pity. My teacher became softer kept reminding me to be positive in thinking and my fellow student next to me immediately poured out her knowledge about cancer diets. Suddenly, I found myself in an awkward position, that people around me started to feel pitiful and in sombre mood. I have to spent some time explaining my situation out, telling them I am aware of my condition and that I am on a therapy with an appropriate diet and that I am positive and not to worry.

I wonder if all cancer patients feels the same way as me. Perhaps, that's why many cancer patients does not want to tell their condition for the last thing we want is to go though the situation that I just described. It makes me feel pitiful and desperate even though the person's action was well intended. This is one time such talk not only does not help but creates more stress for the listener. Maybe, the problem is just me being over sensitive. I believe when I do accept that myself is useless, I think that will be the end of me. As the saying goes, if people keep telling you, then it's probably true.

Update On Mohd Shafiq

Khadijah baked some 18-carat gold carrot cake for Shafiq. She also made some for me and it really tasted good. No oil, no sugar, no eggs and dairy products in the ingredients. I found it very sweet most likely because of the dates and the raisins in it.

I borrowed her recipe book and will try and make one myself.

We (Yeong, his wife Khadijah, Yeong's friend Hau Kiang and me) arrived at Shafiq's house just about noon and parts of the highway was closed for road repairs causing pockets of jam here and there. The last time I saw him was two weeks ago and this time, he look much less energetic and a bit frail. His condition has deteriorated and the growth of the tumors were mainly on his thigh. He is under a lot of pain and his morphine dosage has almost doubled.

I met his auntie, Roslini for the first time and she has been giving most support to the family. I later explained to her on how to use the zapper. I also noted that the family has renovated the main room and also installed an air-conditioner and will move Shafiq to the room where he will have better access to the toilet and able to see what's going on outside the house . He is now living in the hall.

Khadijah asked me if Shafiq could do coffee enema as it would likely help to reduce his pain and also detox his body at the same time. I think it's a good idea and we could explain it to his mother and Roslini to get their consent. They are agreeable. I will be buying the enema set and all the other necessities so that we can visit him again on Monday to start the enema immediately.

Despite with all the pain that's going on, Shafiq has been behaving well. Hau Kiang has been a regular supporter. In fact the whole bunch of Yeong's friends came out full force to help out. Come 17 July (9am to 2pm), there will be a carnival organised by the SS19/1 residents association. Yeong has a booth offering sale of plants and I will also be donating 8 potted Sabah Snake Grass (SSG) plants which I obtained from Jelebu, Negeri Sembilan. For those of you wanting to plant SSG, please come and buy. All proceeds of the sale will go to Shafiq's fund.