Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Long Walk Ahead

Real life is not always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgment of what is working in our lives can help us not only survive but surmount our difficulties.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Guys, thanks for your emails, sms and comments on my blogs about getting my US visa. Well, this is the first time I get congratulations for getting into a clinic! Yes, getting there is indeed is a major step for me. It's also my last hope so to speak because I have almost exhausted all means (well surgery is still the final option) to fight this diease. You should know even Gerson Clinic NEVER promised 100% cure. I will leave the statistics out because this is my individual fight.

Today I felt very tired both mentally and physically. I feel very weak and just want to lie down, don't want to do anything. I just want to rest.

CT Scan
Today, I went for an unscheduled CT scan. I thought it would be better to do a scan before I leave for Mexico so that the doctors can have the latest scan reports of my condition.

I had my sister booked the CT scan to be conducted at Tung Shin Hospital. Because my urologist had made a special request to take certain slices of the tumor to see if the tumor has invaded the liver. The CT scanner at Tung Shin was not able to do the job and the radiologist was kind enough to book me a 2pm afternoon appointment at Assunta Hospital. I fasted the morning so that I could take the scans. I quickly had my morning juice and followed by a bowl of oats. Before I could finish, the senior nurse told me that this will be the last meal for me until my afternoon scan! I need to fast for four hours before the 2pm scan.

I went home and took a nap. Before long, time was up and I prepared my juices and oats to take along. I arrived at the hospital just past 2pm and had to complete the formalities of registration. Later I was let to the CT scanner room and was asked to put on the hospital robes to facilitate the scanning. After changing, I felt cold, with so little cloths on. I sat on the bed while waiting for the nurse to attend to me. I was the only patient there and the wait seem to be hours of waiting. I was also very hungry.

The nurse appeared, had me lie on the bed and then attach a clip on my veins of the right hand to facilitate the contrast injection later during the scan. It was the most painful, I think the nurse (sounded Indonesian) was new. After that more waiting. At least this time I had the blanket to help keep the cold away. Finally I was directed to the scanner area. The radiographer had two other nurses attending to me and then explained the protocol to me.

As a slept on the sleeping bay and subsequently being slowly pushed inside the scanner area. The nurse then join the contrast application device to my clip on my hand and went in the control room. Again I waited. This time it seems so long and the scan must have taken at least 15 minutes to complete. That 15 minutes seems forever for me. Previously I think it was all over in 5 minutes. Sleeping under the the Somatron scanner gives me the creeps. As the contrast solution was injected into me, I could feel the warm sensation travelling from my head to toes. I was warned that the side effects could include vomitting, nausea and itchiness.

Well with 6 prior CT scanning experiences behind me, I thought I would have no problems this time. At 4+pm, I experienced itchiness around my neck and I was scratching like crazy. So I decided to leave it alone and soon the itchiness went away.

Well, I could not get the results of my report today because the nurse told me that there were just too many patients and I can only collect tomorrow. It's fine with me because this time, I don't have anymore expectations. Good or bad results does not matter anymore. I just do what I can.

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