Sunday, November 7, 2010

Telling The Truth

I would rather regret the things that I have done than the things that I have not.
Lucille Ball

I think I have done all that I can for the physical aspects of my therapy. Currently I am focuing on the psychological aspects of the therapy as detailed in The Cancer Personality.

Personality Traits and Cancer Risk
A recent study on 60,000 cancer survivors' personality and cancer offers reassurance that you don't need to "have the fighting spirit" to survive cancer for up to 30 years each. So, what matters most?

According to Suzanne Dixon, MPH, RD personality had no connection with either cancer risk, or risk of dying after cancer diagnosis. If you've been struggling to come to terms with fear, anger, anxiety, and other feelings that a cancer diagnosis can bring, let yourself work through these feelings any way you need to. You don't need to be chipper and upbeat all the time. You need to find out the best way to cope for you.

Talk to your health care team about emotional support services. They can refer you to social workers, counselors, art and music therapists, support groups, informational sessions, and other resources for coping. You can talk to the religious leader at your place of worship or go online for support. Your family and friends can help you cope with a cancer diagnosis too.

Emotional Healing
Yesterday morning, I had breakfast (I ate oats) with Allen and Bee Tin at Subang Jaya SS15 McD. As we were fiddling with the setup of Allen's new ADSL access router, I told Bee Tin knowing what emotional probelms that causes cancer are one thing, and how to deal with it is totally another.

For many people, the three main problem areas with relationships comes from dealings with their parents, siblings and spouse. In many families (particular Chinese families), it is common to find the parents screaming at their children, telling they are useless and in some cases even telling that they should have strangled the child when he/she was born. Such hurtful words are imprinted in the mind of the child and carried into adulthood and will affect their relationships at work, with their spouse, and even how their teach their own children. Many people are not aware they have this problem. Do you feel sometimes your are sad but somehow do not know why? Do you feel sometimes you are not good enough in anything you do? Have you ever wondered why?

According to a friend, her homeopathy practitioner said that out of 100 married people, all of them have unfullfilled relationships. Strong words indeed. Overtime, the couples grow apart. The marriage is now probably one of convenience, trying to keep one another happy on the surface level and obligations to each other and the children. During conversations/heated arguments with the other half, sometimes hurtful words are said and these words are kept in the mind. One of the spouse would silently retreat and lick his/her wounds. Overtime these unreleased emotions becomes stress to the body.

Why do people not want to deal with their emotions when they know it can help them lead a healthier life? Lobo in his song, How Can I Tell Her sings "but when it is easy, telling someone the truth". Yes, the truth hurts and it's painful.

For example, emotional release would involves the couple agreeing to sit together to listen to each other's point of views and expectations about their relationship, no holds barred. This is not a complaint or blaming session. It's done for the purpose of the couple understanding each other's views and for their own well being. The couple then must come to agreement on how to proceed with the relationship, compromises are made. However, the couple would also need to decide what each want to do in those areas where they are not agreeable. It could make or break the relationship, irreconciled differences. Scary for many to have to deal with all these issues. Some would prefer to continue to live in denial. How many couples are ready to deal? Getting professional help is your first step to help yourselves.

Don't wait till you have cancer to find out. It could be too late. Trust me.


  1. Hope you will have that heart to heart talk to your wife, children, siblings etc..

    It is liberating to be able to talk truthfully to love ones.

  2. Dear Sunshine,

    Yes, the process have started. It has been said, the truth will set you free. Live truthfully as much as possible.