Breathing Difficulties

Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Yesterday my father was doing a small paint job outside the house. However, the smell of the thinner and paint fumes was enough to cause me some breathing problems. Firstly I got itchy reaction and towards later the night, I was having breathing difficulties. I normally take about an hour to finish my evening chant but yesterday night I had to stop and take a break as I was running out of breath so frequently. My lungs just could not cope. I have become very sentitive to environment pollutants.

I still have some reflux problems especially after doing my coffee enema. It also seems to affect my digestion. Of late I am not digesting well.

My physical energy is still weak. Walking up two flight of stairs is the best I could do without stopping for a break. But when I carrying loads, even of about 1-2kgs in weight, then it really becomes tiring.

Remaining Positive
Last Friday, I had a therapy session with Dr Chong at her clinic. She sense from reading my blog that I was lonely fighting this cancer. The session were mainly to reinforce the aspects of remaining positive in everything I do. In order for that to happen, not only positive thinking is important, I must be surrounded with positive people and a positive environment.

I must admit as this fight progresses, I am getting tired physically and mentally. The pain is getting a little more apparent. While remaining positive most of the time is easier said than done, I still continue to watch my mind. Since I started chanting, I think it has helped somewhat calmed my mind. I think the tipping factor is one of pain. If the pain is minimal, then it is very easy to remain in positive territory. But I have not much control over the pain? It just comes although I now know having sufficient rests will certainly help.

Of Hard Beds
I still cannot sleep on "hard" beds. I called them hard (but actually for normal people, it would have been good) because as my buttocks, ribs and back rests on the bed, I feel the pain. I need a very soft layer over the bed.

Now, when I sit or accidentally knock against a table or some hard surface, I easily get injured. The area of my legs and hands would be in pain for a few days. I am now extra careful when I am moving about.

At my oncologist's clinic when I was there the last time, they have started distributing phamplets to cancer patients. It is to advise us not to get hurt from falling (especially in the toilet) and also knocking onto hard surfaces. More so for those who have undergone radiotherapy because the bones would have become very brittle.

Mexico Trip
I will be going to the US Embassy on Wednesday to have my interview. My brother was just had his visa granted on Tuesday told me that it is not going to be easy to get a visa based on what he saw. I think at this moment, I will try my best and if I don't get my visa, I will have to think of other alternatives about my treatment.