Starry Starry Night

I can't sleep so I thought I may as well write today's post earlier than usual.

I have been thinking why of late I have been bugged by this reflux problem. My food intake has been quite consistent except for the following:
1. Spicy Dhal curry for about two weeks
2. Spouted bread + cayenne pepper for about two weeks
3. Green apples and pineapple

I think eating spicy foods are the major cause of my acidity problem. I have stopped taking the above foods (except for item 3) for a week a week now and the reflux problem is getting better. Because of the reflux problem, I developed this craving for eating green apples (1 apple a day) and pineapple (one 1 slice a day) during the last few days. I have also since stopped eating green apples and pineapples.

More than reflux, I think I am suffering from some deficiency syndrome as it is known in TCM. The symptoms are palpitation, insomnia, restlessness, unable to lie flat, heat in the chest, palms and soles, dry mouth and throat and sticky sputum. I feel feverish at times, cold feet in the day and warm feet at night and restless all the time. It gets worst towards the night. Due to the disturb sleep, I easily feel agitated and have no presence of mind. My TCM lecturer said treating this syndrome is not easy.

Yesterday, I took my bath for the first time in 21 months with cold water. The water was chilly and I had to cope with the cold even though the evening sun was in full blast. I was afraid to catch a cold which would make matters worst. I figure that cold water would help me to cool down my whole body. I have not experienced all these symptoms together in the past. I am also not sure if these symptoms are cause by the tumors or the changes in the food intake or my new therapies or combination thereof.

Due to the way and the food I took the last 21 months, my body has been conditioned in certain ways and can be easily get out of balance even with a simple diet change. As you can see, adding spices to my diet was a big mistake and self inflicted. I should have been more patient. Dhal is fine but I made it very spicy! So double whammy. Sigh...

I have been very conservative in performing my therapy but in recent months, I am starting to lose patience. I have became bolder in my approach and I have still have not understood why I am beginning to be more aggressive. I think this song Vincent by Don McLean best reflect how my mind is now:

Starry starry night
paint your palette blue and grey
look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the darkness in my soul.

Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils
catch the breeze and the winter chills
in colors on the snowy linen land.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen they did not know how
perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry starry night
flaming flo'rs that brightly blaze
swirling clouds in violet haze
reflect in Vincent's eyes of China blue.

Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain
weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand.

And now I understand what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true
and when no hope was left in sight on that starry starry night.
You took your life as lovers often do;
But I could have told you Vincent
this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

Starry starry night
portraits hung in empty halls
frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes that watch the world and can't forget.

Like the stranger that you've met
the ragged men in ragged clothes
the silver thorn of bloddy rose
lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow.

And now I think I know what you tried to say to me
how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen they're not list'ning still
perhaps they never will.