Roller Coaster Ride

For the last three days, I continued to have very strong stomach acid reflux problem. I had reflux problems before but not so serious as this time. So, I have been taking the baking soda remedy two to three times a day. I find this remedy very effective and within minutes of taking the remedy, I could feel not only the release of gases but feel quite good. There are some side effects, mostly in the beginning stage; my stomach would feel a little pain followed by palpitation for about 15 minutes or so. When all these are over, the relief is experienced. I can lie down and not have any problems. I think it also help me reduced my phlegm retention. Yesterday, I felt that my lungs have taken back the function of fluid management. I was also able to nap better in the afternoon.

I would like to thank those who commented on my post yesterday. Not only very enlightening but I am touched as well. While having this cancer, I have also found something important to me. This cancer has definitely made me live differently and I am trying to live my life as free and as full as possible. I think taking alternative therapies can be liken to the stock market, sometimes we have a bull run, most of the time nothing exciting happens and at other times the bear takes over. The fact that I have plodded on till now tells you that I just don't just give up. Perhaps this blog has provided me an avenue to express my feelings and thoughts which are therapeutic in effects, so that I can let go of my emotions and not do stupid things.

As I said before, what therapies that I shared in my blog is biased toward me, meaning I do it for myself. As you can see, sometimes, no matter how much you read, how much positive comments and testimonials about certain therapies, at the end of the day, nobody is sure if it will work for you. This is not the first time I took a supplementary therapy that not only did not work but had a bad effect on me. The first was the taking of apricot seeds for vitamin B17 (laetrile) way back in October 2009 based on a book CANCER: Why We're Still Dying And To Know The Truth by Phillip Day. Later I found out that B17 is only effective on certain type of cancers (sorry not kidney cancer). Even if B17 is to be consumed, we should take the tablet form. However, B17 is banned in most countries, so obtaining it is a problem. That's why I continue to read and read and search the forums for answers and for people's experiences and even then, it's not safe. This is because most people would report success or failures but not reactions while taking a therapy. This is the reason why I spend so much of my time journaling the reactions of whatever therapy that I am doing. I actually physically examine my enema discharge every time even though it’s smelly and note down what I see and smell. But unfortunately I cannot post photographs for it would upset your stomach. My last episode of blood vomiting, I also took photographs of the blood but it is not tasteful and too graphic for some people, so I left it out of my blog.

The reason why I am taking a TCM course is not to be a guru in TCM. I have no formal training in medicine, nutrition or other form of health sciences. My training is in accountancy and management. There are many things I do not know when I follow the Gerson Therapy and Dr Max Gerson only list a handful of healing reactions. I can’t explain many things that are happening and also don't know what to do. Since taking the TCM course, I am beginning to know more about how the major organs of my body work. The good thing about learning TCM is that the lecturer also compares it to Western medicine so we get to know if there are common grounds. This additional knowledge will allow me to tweak my therapy better. Perhaps it will also tell me if certain therapy will be suitable for me as my physiology and tolerance to certain foods are not the same. I can now understand my present state based on TCM perspective. So I can look for a solution to take in additional herbs or things I can do to help myself. I agree I am very different from other cancer patients. I want to get out of the helpless and hopeless shell. Charity begins at home and I should love myself more and therefore help myself more. Oh, my friends are also my gems; they help and also encourage me too.

I have seen too many cases of over dependence on doctors and therapist to the extent that doctors/therapists know bests. Well, for most things, I agree but for cancer, I would rather take a different view. Want different results then do things differently. I am not saying we don’t need the doctors/therapists. For example, in my blood vomiting episode, I would not go to the hospital for treatment for I know what they will do to me. The confidence in treating me does not come free. I have to read a lot and also ask a lot of questions from the doctors. TCM is part of the price. You just have to look at the case of Ms S that I wrote about two weeks ago and also KC (supervised by a therapist) to know how patients and caregiver makes decisions. I was also like that when I was first diagnosed with cancer. I was forced to change because the doctors have no cure for me. Now, I don’t manage my cancer that way. Sure,I can make wrong decision, but at least I think the decision was not guess work. Some would call this arrogance but I call it confidence. I think ignorance is a costly price to pay.