Sunday, May 22, 2011

The Going Gets Harder

Way back in August 2010 when I went for my 1st year review in Singapore, my oncologist has classified my cancer as slow progressing. Despite on Gerson Therapy (GT), I found new tumors in my body, one at T6 area (March 2010) and another at the left collarbone area (July 2010). I subsequently met my urologist later with a view of going for surgery in November 2010. Following a therapy just by the documentation is not easy. Because from testimonials, GT patients just recover in months and for me, after over a year, I got more tumors. What's happening and what am I going to do? So in December 2010, I left for the Gerson Clinic in Mexico to get professional help. Back then I did not know so much about other alternative therapies except for GT and I began to read more because I knew my condition will deteriorate overtime, so I will need additional therapies.

I don't know if this is just a coincidence because many of my cancer friends that I met six to nine months ago has passed on within the last week or so. When I met these people, they condition were like me and all of a sudden, just within 2-3 months, their condition just deteriorated. I am fully aware that cancer can take an unexpected turn and when that happens, the end is swift but painful.

My friend who is also my strongest critic, gave me a lashing for trying the spouted bread + cayenne pepper diet. She said this has done more harm than good to me. She is right because at the moment, I am suffering of excess heat internally. I feel warm all the time (even with air conditioner on) and make it difficult for me to sleep as well. She also said I "trust no one" and "think you are so clever and technical" but "forgot your thinking can be flawed". Her message hit me hard. Have I been too arrogant, too clever for my own good?

Besides insomnia, I think my current greatest challenge is possibly dealing with fluid retention in my lungs. It has not gone to the state of needing surgery to drain out the fluid but this is a bad sign, the beginning of the end? I think my last episode of blood vomiting is a sign that my lungs may have been damaged. My alveoli may be affected because at times, I am experiencing breathing difficulties. I find breathing more difficult when lying down and this is also one reason why I am also not sleeping well.

My TCM lecturer suggested that I consult some more experienced TCM practitioners. My classmate, Jeanie said her sister knows of a TCM practitioner that specialises in lung cancer and I have asked her to help me get the address so that I can go for a consultation.

For the moment, I am trying to survive 2011 because I would not want to miss my 2nd pilgrimage to India. Because I am so eager to go in November, I think I will still be around for a while.

Can I be an organ donor if I have had cancer?

You may be able to be an organ donor if you have had cancer. There are medical conditions that mean you can’t donate, but cancer isn’t necessarily one of them.

According to the UK Transplant website, you definitely can’t donate your organs if you have CJD (Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease) or HIV (Human Immunosufficiciency Virus). But you may be able to donate if you have any other medical condition (including cancer). Doctors consider each case individually.

After someone dies, a health professional carefully considers the persons’ medical history. They then make a decision about whether or not some or all of the person’s organs or tissue are suitable for transplant. Because the decision is made after a person has died, unfortunately this means that you won’t know whether you can be a donor or not.

Cost of Conventional Breast Cancer Treatment - World Record?
An accumulated S$24.8mil (RM60mil or US$20 mil) medical bill was charged to a single patient for seven months’ breast cancer treatment by a top transplant surgeon in Singapore. The family of the patient, a cousin of the Brunei Sultan and sister of the Queen, who succumbed to her illness in 2007 complained about the bill. The surgeon inflated a third party specialist’s bill of S$400 to S$211,000. Another’s bill of S$500 was inflated to S$93,500, and a third doctor’s charge of S$3,000 was blown up to S$285,100. When Singapore Medical Council investigated the fee, the surgeon offered to discount it by half, and later reduced to just over S$3mil.

The best part was the surgeon offered to entirely waive the fee if the Brunei government would give her “a letter of good standing”. I feel like vomiting blood again when she requested that. “At most one can raise a question of ethics,” said a retired doctor. The surgeon was not charged with any wrongdoing other than overcharging. Do you agree it's only a question of ethics and overcharging here? You can read more here.


  1. Have you been too arrogant? too smart for your own good? too trusting? too egoistic? think you have a right to act this way because you have the cancer?

    Well, only you know and you have every right to act in any manner you deem fit because only you will bear the consequences...besides your close and loved ones who are equally concern and equally trying to love and help you.

    Its your choice and its your decide...

    What's on the other side? Only you will which time, you would either be absolutely right or terribly then, its already too late.

    Good luck. Stay well.

  2. CT,

    You may be too technical and analytical for your own good. But then, you have survive so long. Don't let this "I have been right by my own works" attitude overtake you. Its good to stay with what's good rather than keep on chasing for whatever you are chasing for.

    You do not owe any of us out here to find the absolute cure and all the technical thesis. You owe it to yourself to enjoy each gifted day you add on and spend more love with your close ones.

    Just don't get too off focus and "waste" your additonal time researching and trying to be a TCM guru.

    You must not forget to live and love.

    God bless.

  3. Chang,

    Take time to re examine why you wish to live on...surely its not just the pilgrimage to India?

    Don't get lost in living.

    We love you.

  4. Perhaps only the lyrics of Elvis' Wonder of You sums up my thoughts of you.....I hope you share the same...

    When no-one else can understand me
    When everything I do is wrong
    You give me hope and consolation
    You give me strength to carry on

    And you're always there to lend a hand
    In everything I do
    That's the wonder
    The wonder of you

    And when you smile the world is brighter
    You touch my hand and I'm a king
    Your kiss to me is worth a fortune
    Your love for me is everything

    I'll guess I'll never know the reason why
    You love me like you do
    That's the wonder
    The wonder of you

  5. Chang,

    Deep down only you know how fearful and worried you are. We know...

    Just remember to also spend time for yourself and loved ones. Its ok not to blog everyday and I am sure you spend a lot of time on the wonderful research too.

    Don't live for us, live for yourself.

    Not that you are doing anything incorrectly but your friend may just have a point.

    Whatever you decide, be at peace with yourself.

    Not only people from cancer die; anybody and everybody goes sooner or later.

    You be good to yourself

  6. hi CT,
    hope you can spend a few minutes to read my blog. I would like to echo everyone's sentiments here,,in the sense that you are not obligated to "live for us", to survive to give us hope that GT cures cancer, but we would like you to live, at least a little bit longer..period. So you can share the goodness of your heart.. and maybe even enough time to know the Lord more.


  8. Hi Chang,

    I hope you read this last comment of the day posted at such odd hours 12.57am.

    No one can claim to be able to completely empathize with your condition. I for one has been very cautious when I made comments here. I try my best not to hurt anyone's feelings here. This blog is a very special blog to me. Since I found your blog, I tried to say something positive each day.

    I don't claim that I can fully understand your feelings. I just want you to know that I have very high respect and admiration for you. May I humbly write again that my heartfelt thoughts are with you each day and night.

    I am sure there are many out there, just like me, wishing you well.

    I know you are a very courageous person. Just continue to live.

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