I felt sad after hearing what the doctor said but I was able to snap out of the negative thoughts quickly. No tears. I am not in denial, only that I have accepted my condition. It's just a piece of bad news. My mind is very positive despite this development. On the way back, I had a discussion with my brother on some of my options that are available in view of this development.
I wrote to my friend in Hong Kong telling her of my current condition and my thoughts. She is of the view that hyperthermia is very sound. She was very encouraging and also shared part of her cancer journey experience with me. I am encouraged by her experience and also gave me the confidence to go Germany alone. Something she wrote is so relevant: "Years before, I always held the thought that I should try the treatments one by one so I could see which one worked and which didn't, only to realize that I really didn't have that luxury of time. Then I started to take all treatments I could get hold of, be it conventional or alternative or supplements, together. Ended up I didn't really know which one worked or did they ever work, but I believe one or some of them have slowed down the progress of disease. The only definite improvement was seen a few months after the metronomic chemo."
It looks like I have to develop Option B now. The most viable option is to go to Germany for Hyperthermia treatment. I will probably stay there for two months, the second month is for a follow-up hyperthermia treatment, two treatments all together. I will most likely go there on my own. My wife will probably accompany me for the first week after which she will leave for home to resume work and look after the children. Two of my daughters are still young and school going. I have one worry less when she is at home with the children. I have learned some practical tips of what to do from my friend whose wife in now in Germany for the follow-up hyperthermia treatment. She went alone this time. I think its doable. Furthermore, the time is now because later I may be wheelchair bound and not be able to travel alone.
I have developed Option C too. Option C is not mutually exclusive with Option B meaning I can do Option C as well. In this option, I will be traveling to China for the IL-2 (Interleukin-2) immune therapy. I will have to get more information by taking to a friend whose uncle took this therapy some years ago. She will introduce her uncle to me so that I can get some basic information and then do further research. When I do this therapy, it will have to be before winter in China, so likely to around September 2012.