My meeting with my hypnotherapist was good. We had a good discussion. She was really nice to take sometime off from her family schedule and also from her studies to see me. A qualified medical doctor, she is sitting for her exams to become a cancer specialist. Two hours is really short and time flies. Three to four hours would be better. Funny, I don't feel at all it's a therapy session and yet it is. Anyway, I hope to see her again, maybe once a month in view of her tight schedule. Oh, she told me to eliminate "if" and "don't" from my writings. I am trying. My hypnotherapist also told me to change the drug cimetidime to omeprazole. Cimetidime when used long term, causes dementia. I planned to use cimetidime for up to two years, which according to the documentation is safe. I am now reading up on omeprazone.
I had a quarrel with my mother today. It's like when your mother is interfering in a relationship you are having with a girl. Though the relationship may not be working out so well, but at least you still one to give it a shot. Then mother comes and introduce another girl, telling you how good the girl is. Then you say no and guess what? She introduces another girl. Of course, this is not about the girl but about the therapy I am doing but I hope you get the idea. I have told her not to introduce anymore treatment to me. Every time she hears from a friend about a treatment, she wants me to try it. Even people she don't know, like today some people came to ask for some donation for another cancer patient. This person just told her how this cancer therapy managed to save the grandfather, the father and now they are collecting the money for the son, three generations in a family that got cancer. I told my mother I appreciate her well meaning gesture but she can't expect me to try every cancer treatment that she hears. Actually, we talked about this so many times already. I know she wants me to get well but that's not the way I told her. I told her I know what I am doing in an irritating voice. I told her that she is putting a lot of pressure on me. When I try and when my condition get worst, I am sure she will blame herself for it. Most times, there are no documentation, I don't even know what I am taking in, it's pure faith. But when I don't try, she feels disappointed. Upset with me, she said she will not care about me anymore, wiping off some tears from her eyes. Sigh... I am not one of those who will try anything just to save myself even when I have run out of alternatives. I have also done the best I can to help myself. I can accept when my end is near. But meanwhile, I enjoy everyday that comes.