Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Lost In Pain

I knew entering into my third year of therapy was not going to be easy, but what I did not anticipate was the pain that I am getting now. I don't remember when was the last time I sat in front of the house. The sky looked gloomy and as I was lowering myself slowly to sit on a wooden stool over looking the garden, I could feel the aches and pains on my legs. There is always a clam before the storm. I could not even sit for 5 minutes as it was too painful on my butt. So, instead I just walked around the little garden. I have been cooked up in the house since I came back from India. Three nights on the slipping pill and still I fell tired. Last night I did not sleep well and maybe it was because I did not take the pain killer.  My average pain score has increased to 5. I postponed my plan to visit the hospital to Wednesday for the scan as I forgot Monday was a public holiday and then see my orthopedic surgeon on Thursday.

As I started to write this post, the rain started to fall. It has been raining everyday, like most days it usually starts to rain in the late afternoons. Like the weather, I also feel gloomy. I am still feeling tired and have been coughing quite a bit due to itchy throat. Everytime I cough, I would shudder in pain because somehow the coughing are linked to the nerve pain on my butt and legs. It gives me an mild electric shock and I am paralised in situ for seconds. There is only one thing on my mind. What am I gonna to do?

Pain attracts negative thoughts. It makes me less logical and makes me feel depressed. I am trying hard to resit or give in. So when an old friend wrote me an email about "Who are the Chinese?", I thought I would read something interesting to get my mind of the pain thingy. There were two recommended books and one of them is called 1434: Year Magnificent Chinese Fleet Sailed to Italy and Ignited the Renaissance by Gavin Menzies. It's supposed to be non fiction book but mostly ignored by professional historians. According to the critics, Menzies use fragments of evidence here and there to support his theory. Still he spent quite a lot of time and money researching this book and the other book 1421: The Year China Discovered America is equally controversial.


  1. Not sure why u r taking this long to find out what causing the extreme pain....certainly it is a red flag which warrants close monitoring. Instead of going to your chiropractor, shouldnt you have taken the scan weeks ago & do sth about it?

  2. Hi CT,
    I have been following your blog for quite sometime. Have your heard of e-Therapy at Dr. Chris Teo's CA Care center in Penang. Seems it is good for pain.

    CL Yee

  3. Hi Anonymous @2.20am,

    I have taken a scan one year ago to ensure that it's not a bony metastasis. About three months back, I have taken MRI scans on my lumbar spine and the problem has been diagnosed and there are no evidence of bony metastasis. Of course one could just opt for spinal surgery which my doctor do not recommend at the moment. My orthopedic surgeon has recommended physiotherapy as the first line of treatment and in my view chiropractor can aid in such situations as I have prior good experience with them. I prefer to try minimal invasive approach first.

    Since I found out about the band aid surgery, I will be talking to my doctors about the possibility of using this minimal invasive procedure for the surgery.

  4. Hi CL Yee,

    I know about Dr Chris Teo's herbs and in fact I still have 2 packs of the pain tea left. While I agree taking pain killers or tea is a temporary relief, it does not solve the problem. In my case, the pain is not due the tumors.

    I am working with my doctor and trying his treatment methods first. It seems slip disc is a common problem that affects many people. Spinal surgery is the last resort because this procedure is quite risky. But I think with the new minimal invasive surgical procedures, it's worth considering.

  5. Glad to read that you are back safely. The pain can be a downer, please stay strong.

  6. Dear CT,try getting some sleep without taking sleeping pills,as the mind will play on the pain and pain of scale 3 can be 6 with sleeping pills not able to switch off the mind and it plays on the pain level,i was like that during my pain days going through chemo and radiation,the legs are the one most painful till i have to crawl to the toilet and put hot water to relieve the pain,soon after i stop the sleeping pills the pain became tolerable as my mind is stronger,i cannot explain it well into words but try to understand.Our mind cannot switch off and fights the sleeping pill in the end you get a restless sleep and a weak mind meaning tired mind,so its better to be tired naturally and you get to sleep well.Sorry about not being able to put it in writing properly but God Bless and keep strong without letting up.Keep writing,regards AL MAL.

  7. Dear CT,I hope you will become well, happy and try to get some sleep without any drugs and pills as I agree with the comment above.Stephanie Von Rrikota.

    Kind regards,