Tuesday, November 15, 2011


In my attempt to understand why I am having sleeping problems, I tried to look for articles where cancer patients can't sleep at night. I found in one article that suggest that "Lung cancer patients comprise a subgroup of cancer patients who are most vulnerable to sleep disturbances." Although I am a kidney cancer patient, the tumor has also spread extensively to my lungs. Can I consider myself as part of the sub-group? Anyway, this is what the researches said "Anxiety and depression can be as high as 50 percent in patients with cancer, pointing to the importance for nurses to routinely screen for anxiety and depression." Researcher Dean points out "and while pain and difficulty breathing might have been contributing factors, they were assessed in this study and found not to be significant. Anxiety and sleeplessness can also lead to self-medication," she says. "And when individuals self-medicate their anxiety, they often use alcohol and tobacco."

Obviously, in my case I don't take tobacco nor drink alcohol. Yes, I would agree that anxiety and depression may be causing me not to sleep. I am quite anxious about my upcoming medical surgery in China and also my slight depression due to the leg pain.  I taken for granted that my legs will be able to walk normally. But one day, you find out that it now cannot function normally, not for one week or month, but for a few months, it can be really depressing. Now, four days in a row I could not sleep at night.

You know, when the doctors told me that my cancer has no conventional cure, it scared the hell out of me. OK, I said to myself,  there are still alternatives that maybe able to help me. I have been on alternative therapy for two years now. I think my cancer is slowly progressing. Now, I am thinking I maybe also running out of alternative cures. That creates anxiety as well. But these are things that I will face that eventually, there is really nothing else that can be done. When you are down, the mind can really play tricks.


  1. Dear CT,the key word you mentioned in the latest n3 is when you're down the mind can really play tricks,just don't let it get to you,i know its easier said than done,but look you're still here and going to China for the treatment and you must be strong and as i always say dont let up,if you think you can than you can,you are the master of your mind and you will overcome all odds,believe in it and don't let up,tell yourself to sleep,and you will,dont let the mind play those tricks,keep strong.Think that the China trip will be the right alternative and will bring you success with your quest for the right therapy.My prayers are always with you,from AL MAL.

  2. Dear CCT, when one feels one runs out of options, one becomes desperate. When one is desperate, one loses rationality. When the mind becomes less rational, one allows the emotion to rule. When it's the heart ruling over the mind, one might want to seek self-affirmation. As you have mentioned over and over again in your blog, it's all in the mind. It's time to take charge of your mind again my friend. Be the fighter you are. You have researched, analyzed and decided on HIFU. Tell your mind you have complete faith and feeling positive with the procedure. Erase your doubts. Your Chongqing doctors shall do their best to treat you. Your focus now is to be physically and mentally ready for the treatment. Remember, it's mind over matter, my friend.
    I was googling about meditation and stumbled upon pain meditation. Never tried it and not sure if you have heard it before. Just thought it might be worth exploring if you have not.
    My thoughts and prayers will be with you always, from Sze Yeen

  3. Hi Sze Yeen,

    It's indeed a surprise to hear from you again. I can't remember when we last met but I guess it must have been closed to 10 years.

    Thanks for the kind words and encouragement. I hope you and your family are in the pinkest of health in Hong Kong. If you do come back for CNY, do let me know so that we can catch up.

    I never once thought I will get cancer and there I am now living with them for over two years now. Up till now, I still have mood swings and most days I seem fine but on some days, it's helter skelter.

    Just one of my ramblings once in awhile. I will be OK after a couple of days.

  4. Hi, get to know you via Voon Fah today, please visit Dr Yap Bee Hong at 22, Jalan Hujan Rahmat 3, OUG, Off Old Klang road before your travel overseas, Dr Yap has the full herbs solution for end stage kidney patient. She has cure some lucky end stage cancer patient. She can be contacted at 03-77855169 (10am to 3pm)Tuesday to Saturday. She will be on leave next week.

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