Monday, May 21, 2012

Overcoming Negative Thoughts

My pain seems to have worsen as time progressed. When pain strikes, there is little I can do but to reach for the painkiller. I have been spending a lot of time for the past year and a half on re-framing my mind because I recognised that it the key to living. You see, when you have cancer, when your therapy is working well, everything is fine. You are happy. But when your therapy does not work, then you will realise the mind will start to waiver. You will worry. When the pain sets in, you becomes desperate. When I started my cancer journey, I was pain free for almost the first two years. After that, it was downhill all the way. Besides my own experience, I have also read it in other cancer patients' blog.

I do not believe in hiding behind some work to keep myself busy or watching movie or listening to some songs to keep my mind off cancer. This is because I view such activities as nothing more than escapism. Sooner or later you come back to reality and face it again. When you are a cancer patient whose condition is progressing like me, I believe it would be best to confront it. When I confront, I do not mean I fight it. I recognised and accept my condition. Then I can focus on what I can do to improve my own situation.  Because I have come to accept my own cancer condition, I do not view my cancer as an obstacle or that I will feel sad when I think about my cancer. If fact I am so open to cancer, I can talk about it to anyone without affecting my mind. I also get talk to a lot of new cancer patients and during all my conversations with them, I would try to encourage them and share some of my thoughts. I also had the privilege to counsel a few stage 4 cancer patients just before they passed away. Except for one who was a friend, I do not know the rest of the patients. These patients have very good family support and also strong faith in their respective religion.Yet after having cancer for so long, they have not fully accepted their cancer. They are afraid to talk about it because they have been avoiding the issue. No friends or family members dare to talk about it. Actually, they also don't know how to go talking about it. They still cry and feel pitiful on their death bed. These hurtful emotions are buried deep inside the body and need to be heard and then dealt with. Only when these hurtful emotions are released would the heart find peace and dying becomes easier.

2 comments:

  1. Hi . I have been following your blog eversince a friend told me about it. You have enlightened us on cancer. Family members, close friends who have died of cancer and still fighting cancer were and are not as expressive as you on this life and death issue. Some died witout ever accepting it and they suffered. I agree with you. Acceptance. A friend with cancer, kept asking "why me"? It pains the heart to hear it. Take care.

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  2. Positive thinking and you dont run from reality.
    This is not limited to cancer patient only, this can be applied to our daily activities in our life as well. Good! Keep on posting update uncle.


    Hanafiah.

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