You Are Not Alone

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
Aldous Huxley

The last few days I have been running around and as a result, I was very tired. I have been resting and need more rests to prepare for my long journey to US/Mexico.

In the course of the week, I also met two cancer patients. One is a Malay gentleman in his 40s. He has a 10cm left kidney tumor and seems to have spread to the chest. The doctors have recommended surgery and I believe he is now recovering in hospital. It would be good for me to follow up on this case and see how he recovers from the surgery. He is taking the CA Care herbs. The other is a lady from Saudi Arabia, in her 30s. My neighbour has requested me to talk to her about Gerson Therapy. She has breast cancer and have spread to the lungs. Her right hand is swollen and she feels a lot of pain. She has been in Malaysia for four months now and she is all alone. Yes, one person in a far away land and she is dead against surgery and chemotherapy. Yet at the same time she has no idea what alternative therapy to take. Poor women.

Cost Of Treatment @ Gerson Clinic
Some of my friends are wondering how much will I be spending at the Gerson Clinic? Well, to me, the cost seems reasonable considering other forms of alternatives and of course conventional treatment. The clinic charges US$5,500 per week for a minumum of two week's stay. That would mean approximately RM35K for me. Well it's cheaper than Sutent or any chemotherapy. Also cheaper than some of the alternative therapies that I know of. Everything is being provided at the clinic; food, medical, doctors, accomodation and the environment for healing. It's about the same price that I would have to pay for removing my kidney tumor by surgery.

Of course there are other expenses like airfare and personal expenses. Well all in I budgeted for RM50K. It's a lot of money for me but this is also to buy a hope for myself. Gerson Clinic has very good results. My own self administered Gerson Therapy also allowed me to live for about 15 months now, much to my doctors' amazement.

I think many cancer patients have said it and I will not be the last. Cancer treatment is a very expensive especially by conventional means. Alternative therapies is cheaper but then I also know of some alternative therapies that are as expensive as conventional treatment. The more desperate the patient is, the more money he/she will spend.

It's Not That Bad

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
Francesca Reigler

I have been doing some thinking about my latest scan results. Not on the good news part but more on the bad news part i.e. my lungs. I still cannot understand why the results is kind of mixed. My homeopathy doctor told me this could be mainly due to the fact that my body is not able to deal with two major tumor sites in the body.

Anyway I will see what the doctors says at the Gerson Clinic. I will wait for their assessment of me and then follow their tailor made program. There one thing that I don't like about the program. I don't like injections. I hate it actually. But it seems I will need to have daily liver and thyroid injections. Needles... Oh, is there another way like taking it orally in a pill form like I do now?

My Diet While Travelling
It is obvious that while travelling I cannot take my normal Gerson diet. Even while travelling to Singapore, I modify my diet temporary. But this time, some of my friends are a little worried what will I be consuming while I am travelling in USA? Well put it this way. I will bring some organic oats and also some rye bread along. But the journey is long and I may run out of my rations by then.

So the next best thing is to go on vegetarian diet. What I will do is probably dilute it with water to remove excess oil and salt before consuming. This is the best I can do under the circumstance. Not eating is NOT an option. It's winter by the way. I will try to spend more time at the Gerson Institute where they also serve Gerson diet food. I have ordered special medical and/or vegetarian food on the plane which is low in salt content.

CA Care Herbs
I started taking CA Care herbs after the August 2010 scan. Now three months later, my kidney tumor seems to have improved but not my lungs. This is the only changes I have made so far. Could the improvement be due to the CA Care herbs? I want to think so. I think Rodent Tuber in particular helped.

Earlier I also took herbs for the liver but now the scans has confirmed that my liver is not infected, I can stop taking the liver herbs. CA Care has two herbs for lung cancer. So far I have been taking only one of the herb and I think I will now start on the other lung herb as well.

I will suspend taking the CA Care herbs while I am away in US and Mexico and will resume when I am back on 23 December 2010.

Health Status @ 27 November 2010

To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.
Ralph Waldo Trine

New information are presented in italics.

Problem
Tumor mass of size of about 15cm on the right kidney and 21 and 20 nodes all over my left and right lungs respectively with one up to 3cm in size on both lungs. Confirmed that it has not spread to the live. All other organs are also normal.

Latest scan on 26 November 2010 showed slight improvement in the kidney tumor (shrunk from 15cm to 11.4cm) but the nodes on the lungs were also a little larger. In the August 2010 scan, it was the other way around.

X-rays scan on 26 September 2010 over the scapula (the bone of the shoulder), pelvic and upper back areas shows no obvious bony metastasis.

Prognosis
Consulted four urologists (one in Singapore and three in Malaysia) and two oncologists (one in Malaysia and one in Singapore). Both oncologists suggested removal of right kidney. Singapore urologist also suggested removal of kidney. The three urologists do not recommend surgery or chemotherapy. The last urologist consulted said most of his patients died within six months of surgery while two on the expensive (RM20K per month) drug Sutent is not responding. All agree that is no cure for the moment.

My urologist said my cancer is at stage 4 and did not recommend me to take any treatment. It is also my own choice not to take conventional treatment after considering all the facts of the case.

Subsequently during the 1 year review on 2 September 2010, my oncologist in Singapore recommended that I consider:

a. Tumor debulk and
b. Sutent medication or
c. Interferon treatment

MAIN THERAPIES
a. Modified Gerson Therapy
a1. Coffee Enema
Initially, four times a day for four weeks, every four hours apart. Currently two times a day in the morning, afternoon and evening for 15 minutes. Commence castor oil enema from 23 January 2010.

a2. Nutrition Diet
All fruits and vegetables mentioned are organic.
i. Juicing - 11 fruit and vegetables juices a day beginning around 7am and ending 7pm. 5 apple+carrot, 2 carrot and 4 green vegetable juices every hourly. Liver supplements are taken together with carrot juices. Added snake plant leaves to carrot+apple juices.
2. Diet - No oil, no sugar and no salt on all cooking. For breakfast and supper, mainly oats with some raisins, sometimes a little Manuka honey is added. For lunch and dinner, vegetables such as Siew Pak Choy, Lettuce, lady's fingers, cauliflower, broccoli and spinach are mainly steamed or boiled. K-salt is added for flavoring. A teaspoon of flaxseed oil is added when serving (but not during cooking). Mainly boiled potatoes and sometimes Somali organic brown rice is consumed. Hippocrates soup are also prepared every other day for daily consumption.
3. Supplements - K-salt, B12, niacin, lugol solution, pancreatin, pepsin and Q10.
4. Others - Rye bread, papaya, guavas, oranges and bananas are consumed at regular intervals.

b. Homeopathy Medicine
Consulting Doctor: DR AU Ramakrishnan MBBS, PhD, Chennai, India (http://www.drramakrishnan.com/)
Local Consultant: Vishuddi Lee
Treatment Started: 6 November 2009.
Consulting: Once every two months in Singapore. Next appointment 7 January 2011.
Reaction: No further reactions observed other than mouth ulcers every now and then.

c. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
Clinic: CA Care, Subang Jaya Center (http://www.cacare.com/)
Main Consultant: Dr Chris Teo
Treatment Started: 27 August 2010.
Medication: Capsule A+B, 4 capsules 3 time daily. Lungs, liver and kidney herbs to be taken once a day. C-tea to be taken throughout the day.
Reaction: Stomach a little uncomfortable after taking Capsule A and the herbs. Increase frequency in night urine.

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPIES
d. Oxygen Therapy
Started using a personal oxygen generator with effect from 8 March 2010 about 1 hour in the evening, 20 minutes per session. Richer oxygen does help in controlling the growth of the tumors. It also reduces fatigue.

e. Zhineng Qigong
Started practicing qigong on 11 March 2010. Attend classes five times a week from 6.30am to 8am.

Health Status
Many of my friends who saw me said I look thinner but somehow my weight is still around 65.7kg. This week was bad for me in terms of running around. I was all over town doing the visa formalities and also other arrangements. So I did not have proper food and rests. I will try and catch up (if there is such a thing) on my rests this weekend. Before I know it, my mother in law was admitted to hospital and there I was again back in Ipoh. Ok, still got Sunday.

This week I spare you details of my pain.


Verdict
Very tiring week but looking forward to staying at Gerson Clinic.

CT Scan Showed Mixed Results

Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.
Eddie Rickenbacker

I have been running around the last two days and this is really bad for me. I have not been drinking my juices and taking food regularly. I think I will take more rests in the weekend.

Update On US/Mexico Trip
Finally managed to get all the formalities done. I will be leaving on 3 December and be back on 23 December. December is the peak season and not a good time to travel. Everything is so expensive!

Update On CT Scan Results
As with previous scans, this scan which was taken yesterday showed mixed results. The last scan was taken three months ago in August 2010.

The good news is that the kidney tumor has shrunk a bit from 15cm x 9.5cm x 12.5cm to 11.4cm x 10.2cm x 10.6cm. The liver is also not infected. All other organs are also normal.

The bad news is the lungs. The lymphnodes below the aoratic arch measures 3cm x 1.9cm subcarnial lymphnode behind the heart measures 3.8cm. At last study it was 3.3cm x 1.8cm and 2.2cm and 2.1cm respectively. Right paravertebral lymphnode at the same level measure 2.9cm. This means that the mediastinal (a non-delineated group of structures in the thorax, surrounded by loose connective tissue) and lymphadenopathy (an enlargement of the mediastinal lymph nodes) have increased in size.

Well still, I am happy because there was good news. I think the CA Care herbs helped. I will be making a small change in the herbs. Instead of taking liver herbs, I will be taking an additional lung herb. The lungs needs more help.

The Long Walk Ahead

Real life is not always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgment of what is working in our lives can help us not only survive but surmount our difficulties.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Guys, thanks for your emails, sms and comments on my blogs about getting my US visa. Well, this is the first time I get congratulations for getting into a clinic! Yes, getting there is indeed is a major step for me. It's also my last hope so to speak because I have almost exhausted all means (well surgery is still the final option) to fight this diease. You should know even Gerson Clinic NEVER promised 100% cure. I will leave the statistics out because this is my individual fight.

Today I felt very tired both mentally and physically. I feel very weak and just want to lie down, don't want to do anything. I just want to rest.

CT Scan
Today, I went for an unscheduled CT scan. I thought it would be better to do a scan before I leave for Mexico so that the doctors can have the latest scan reports of my condition.

I had my sister booked the CT scan to be conducted at Tung Shin Hospital. Because my urologist had made a special request to take certain slices of the tumor to see if the tumor has invaded the liver. The CT scanner at Tung Shin was not able to do the job and the radiologist was kind enough to book me a 2pm afternoon appointment at Assunta Hospital. I fasted the morning so that I could take the scans. I quickly had my morning juice and followed by a bowl of oats. Before I could finish, the senior nurse told me that this will be the last meal for me until my afternoon scan! I need to fast for four hours before the 2pm scan.

I went home and took a nap. Before long, time was up and I prepared my juices and oats to take along. I arrived at the hospital just past 2pm and had to complete the formalities of registration. Later I was let to the CT scanner room and was asked to put on the hospital robes to facilitate the scanning. After changing, I felt cold, with so little cloths on. I sat on the bed while waiting for the nurse to attend to me. I was the only patient there and the wait seem to be hours of waiting. I was also very hungry.

The nurse appeared, had me lie on the bed and then attach a clip on my veins of the right hand to facilitate the contrast injection later during the scan. It was the most painful, I think the nurse (sounded Indonesian) was new. After that more waiting. At least this time I had the blanket to help keep the cold away. Finally I was directed to the scanner area. The radiographer had two other nurses attending to me and then explained the protocol to me.

As a slept on the sleeping bay and subsequently being slowly pushed inside the scanner area. The nurse then join the contrast application device to my clip on my hand and went in the control room. Again I waited. This time it seems so long and the scan must have taken at least 15 minutes to complete. That 15 minutes seems forever for me. Previously I think it was all over in 5 minutes. Sleeping under the the Somatron scanner gives me the creeps. As the contrast solution was injected into me, I could feel the warm sensation travelling from my head to toes. I was warned that the side effects could include vomitting, nausea and itchiness.

Well with 6 prior CT scanning experiences behind me, I thought I would have no problems this time. At 4+pm, I experienced itchiness around my neck and I was scratching like crazy. So I decided to leave it alone and soon the itchiness went away.

Well, I could not get the results of my report today because the nurse told me that there were just too many patients and I can only collect tomorrow. It's fine with me because this time, I don't have anymore expectations. Good or bad results does not matter anymore. I just do what I can.

Gerson Clinic, Here I Come!

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn

I have not set up an Internet connection at my mom's place. So for this period of time, I may miss updating my blog a day or two. I am working on to resolve it.

Last few days, I have been having some adominal pain around the kidney area. While doing my morning enema, I also noticed some discomfort from my lymph node on my left collarbone. It never gave me any problems before. Hopefully it's temporary only. I think I have developed a little swelling on my left side of the neck, close to the thyroid gland. Probably it's nothing.

I make my posting short today.

US And Mexico, Here I Come!
Finally, my US Visa has been granted though only for six months validity. At least I get to go for my treatment. The reason why they would not allow me a longer visa is so I do not burden the US Government in case I fall sick and becomes disabled while in the US.

Now, I just have to confirm the travel arrangements.

Is There An Anti-Cancer Vaccine?

Courage is as often the outcome of despair as hope; in the one case we have nothing to lose, in the other, all to gain.
Diane DePoiters

Many times I find myself in more dispair than hope about my cancer situation. I think this is because my mind is conditioned after years of indoctrination about conventional medicine. To rid myself of these mind imprints takes a lot of work and reminding myself there are other ways of looking at things.

Obviously taking a different approach requires great courage because that path taken in unbeaten. I also get a lot of discouragement and yet at the same time, friends and family members are also not sure whether to give support or not. Whatever it is, it's my life and I should take whatever action deemed necessary for my own salvation. Of course, I will listen to inputs of friends and family members but obviously it is not fair to shift the decision burden to them for my own health failing.

Why Doctors Don't Get Cancer?
I stumbled upon this article posted by Derek Clontz. I am not sure if the doctors elsewhere in the world are able to access the vaccine or not. I know many Malaysian doctors are also now getting cancer.

The whistle blower was Dr Federick X, a highly respected oncologist. Dr. X refuses to reveal his identity or whereabouts fearing what he terms “lethal punishment” from an industry that depends “on large and ever-growing numbers of cancer patients entering the system just to stay in business.”

The doctor himself insists that his statements stand on their own merits. He challenges “anybody, anywhere to prove me wrong.”

He goes on to provide specifics, saying the cancer vaccine was developed simultaneously at federally-funded research centers in Los Angeles and New York in 1967.

A simple and inexpensive ”cocktail” of weakened cancer cells, the vaccine showed such promise that the FDA agreed to forego normal procedure and allow early clinical trials on humans.

Those trials reportedly involved the vaccination of over 500 medical volunteers who were later injected with live, virulent cancers of the type that attack the brain, eyes, spine, colon, kidney, pancreas, liver and lung.

In all but three instances, says Dr. X, the live cancer cells “were destroyed within days.” By early 1969, he adds, “virtually everyone involved in the trials was convinced the vaccine would eradicate cancer for all Americans within a matter of a few years and for every human on earth within a single generation.”

According to Dr. “X”, the results “horrified the cancer industry, which saw its major source of income, its power and tens of thousands of high-paying jobs and careers going down the tubes.”

Under intense and apparently threatening pressure from “major lobbyists and influence peddlers,” he continues, the FDA hastily re-classified the vaccine as unsafe for humans

But cancer researchers knew better, he alleges, and continued to order the vaccine for “experimental use” – a practice that he says continues with the FDA’s nodding but unspoken approval to this day. “That’s why the cancer statistics show that doctors seldom get the disease while ordinary people remain at high risk,” explaines Dr. X. The doctors are taking a so-called ‘experimental’ vaccine that they know to be safe and effective but won’t give to you.

You can read more here.