Conversations with Chang

I found out that Chang had kidney cancer almost a year after he was diagnosed. In his usual way, he spoke enthusiastically about the Gerson Therapy, the urine therapy and their benefits. He encouraged me to try out coffee enemas, drink juices and take the Gerson supplements. 

After listening to him, I finally asked him whether he had considered that healing could be more than just physical. And that healing encompasses mind, body and spirit. I also asked him whether he loved himself.  He was stumped and said "Isn't self-love narcissistic or attachment to oneself?" This turned out to be a really big question for him. 

Many people are afraid to love themselves, They somehow feel they are not allowed to. That self-love is self indulgent. They find it much easier to find fault with themselves. And to be harsh and unforgiving toward themselves for their imperfections and mistakes. They do not allow themselves the space to be themselves, to delight in their own company and to pamper themselves. Don't we all deserve a break sometimes? As human beings, we tend to swing to extremes. Does loving ourselves have to swing towards narcissm? What is narcissm? Narcissism is an obsession with ourselves, to the exclusion of other people -- both their needs, and their gifts which they want to share with us. Narcissism is not self-love.

Our self-love is a confirmation that we are lovable; therefore, we eagerly recognize and accept the love which is offered to us. If we lack self-love, we reject other people's love, because we do not recognize it, or we feel that we are not worthy of it. It increases our ability to love other people. It allows us to understand ourselves and know ourselves. We are not repressing anything from our own awareness.

 

I reminded Chang that Buddhism teaches the middle path and he could look at self love as compassion towards oneself. If we cannot have compassion towards ourselves, how then can we expect others to have compassion for us? How then can we know how to feel compassion for others. It starts with us.

And what does self love have to do with cancer? Because self-love is the pathway to healing. We need to learn to have a great respect for ourselves and a gratitude for the miracle of our bodies and minds. The science of energy medicine teaches us that our organs and other physiological systems sense and store emotions. The immune system’s intelligence observes feelings we have about ourselves, and can improve its health when we develop authentic feelings of self-love.

In the words of cancer survivor, Anita Moorjani, who came back from a near death experience in 2006. "Self love is the best medicine. I learnt from being at death's door that unless I loved myself, nothing else in my life could function at its best."  (Chang posted her story on May 11, 2012)

(Posted by Chang's Friend)