Don't Worry, Be Happy

Ever since I was diagnosed with late stage cancer my life changed for the worst. My health continued to deteriorate as the days passed. I did some therapy that I believe that would helped me and meanwhile hope for the best. No matter how you look at it, life will never be the same. I spent much of my time in my pre-cancer days on work and being involved in the financial services industry, the hours are long. I entered the work market at a time when the economy was declining and later it went into recession in 1984. Work was difficult to get, but I was lucky to be gainfully employed. Not so for some of my friends. During the early part of my career before I got married, my hours are long, working up to 11pm and 6pm on Saturdays. After 1990, the economy started to recover and the stock market had a bull run in 1992/93 where almost everybody gave up their jobs to become daily investor. Everybody made money, no matter which stock you touch. Many of my friends left their banking work to become remisiers. I have just completed my British accountancy examination then. As I climbed the corporate ladder, my hours became a little shorter. I leave for work at 6.30am and back at home at 8.30pm if no entertainment. After taking my dinner and bath, it would be past 9.30pm. I devote every Wednesday for jogging where I will leave work at 6pm. I love jogging because besides sweating it out, I also get to de-stress.

The routine continues and years passed.  Neglecting my own health, now I have cancer. I don't think cancer people are happy people, especially those who have late stage cancer like me. How can they be? Can I live happily as in my non cancer days? Personally I don't think so and there is no need to feel so. No need to think about the future, because tomorrow is not here yet. So I live in the present. Today. So I make the best of it. First being able to be live an extra day is already very good. I am very happy about it. Within the day, I feel happy about certain things. Like my daughter told me she got the highest marks for add-math in class. When she passed her grade 8 piano exams. I feel happy when I experience no pain. I feel happy being able to talk and meet up to chat with friends. When my friend got a promotion. A cancer friend reported improvement after treatment. Able to spent time with family members. When friends visit. When I can drive and travel around. Nothing complicated, any positive outcome, I would be happy. Suddenly, my world is now child like, simple needs. Enjoy simpler things in life.

Of course, there are other heavy stuffs to work on also. Are there sufficient finances? To work on negative emotions. Work on the therapy to improve my health. To work on my own spirituality development. Improve relationship with family members. More importantly, reflect on self and improve to become a better person.