Living With The Flow

I "met" a number of new friends via the email. Some of the them are cancer patients and I found out that these people are my "senior" in terms of years of having cancer. They have lived longer then me and it's nice of them to get in touch with me to share what they are doing. I could learn from these new friends and also some new therapies. One of them said about how to live longer "last time I always tell C patients if you can eat, don't worry so much, once you still can eat, your life won't be so short, as long as you continue eating the right food." I have also been receiving phone calls from people I don't know but many of them could not contact me early in the morning because I wake up rather late nowdays. Like today, a caller tried to call me at 6.51am. If you could leave a message or call me after 9am, that would be nice.

This afternoon, I have made an appointment with Dr Beh to learn more about HITV. It's not that I am going to do it but I just like to have a chance to an evaluation on this therapy so that I can also be included in one of my treatment options. But, it's not a cheap therapy. I was also informed that it may be difficult for people with big tumors to do this therapy but anyhow, there is no harm in getting more information. A few days back, I talk about revisiting surgery as a treatment option. Ever wonder why I went looking for 5 urologists? This is because each urologist gave me a different opinion. I think the second urologist from a Government hospital that I met was the worst. When I asked him about surgery, he gave me only gloomy outcome. He said I may not survive the surgery but I still remember something that he said that still have a deep impact on me. He said even if I did not die at the surgery table, there would be complications and I may have to live with the rest of my life with tubes connected to my abdomen. It frightened the shit out of me. At that time, it was only one month after I was diagnosed with cancer. Months later, I decided to find other urologists who would be friendlier and very optimistic about the surgery. I did find one urologist in Singapore. There were two other urologists that did not explore surgery with me because they said the surgery would not improve my survival chances. I would have a chat with them again possibly early next year.

So far, yet so near. Last Monday, I told my traveling group that I will not be going to India for pilgrimage. Everything was planned but one thing that I did not planned was my leg problem. Although my chiropractor said when the pain on my legs have moved to a new area was a good sign but it gave me new problems. Previously, I would only feel the pain when I walk or use my legs during lifting, etc. Now, the pain has shifted to the front of the thigh and side. Even when I am sitting or lying down, the pain will just come even when not moving my legs. Like last night, I slept rather early at around 11pm but I woke up due to leg pain in the middle of the night. After self massage, I managed to sleep back but then woke up again at about 5am, this time from pain on my back and abdomen around my kidney tumor area. My last physiotherapy session will end tomorrow while my chiropractic session will end next Tuesday. After that, it's back to the orthopedic surgeon for the next course of treatment. Looks likely he will recommend steroid injection.

The flood in Thailand has also affected my carrot supply. The shipment has stopped and now I have to look for more expensive alternatives sources from Australia. I scouted around and managed to find another locally grown carrot, slightly smaller in size than that from Thailand, but that will do for in the meantime.