Alone Again Naturally

Last night, I was feeling very sleepy after past 9pm. I resisted to sleep and it was a big mistake. At the end, I did not sleep the whole night. I should have slept at 9pm and then wake up at 4am or 5am which is still better than not sleeping.What was I thinking?

You know, although I have cancer, the people around me are also suffering. My mother bears the brunt of my sickness. She has lost a lot of weight since my cancer and always wanting to help me in whatever way she can. Even though she is not in very good health herself, she stills tries to help me. Especially in the middle of the night when I have pain here and there, she will try her best to massage me. I feel happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I can feel her unconditional love for me and sad that my mother has to take care of me instead of the other way round. I am not sure if other cancer patients have this feeling of being burdensome to people around us. I can't imagine what it would be like if I am bed ridden. This is why I will have to continue to find ways to help myself. Maybe that is also why I am willing to take more risk to try new therapies. From my correspondences with some cancer patients, I realised they are also like me, don't want to burden other people, keeping to themselves what they want to do. One of them even live by herself in her own house, alone. She has to do the cooking, marketing of food supplies, washing, etc.

The doctor who wanted to open a Gerson like clinic contacted me yesterday and introduced himself. He is already in the healthcare business and owns a holistic healthcare center. In his email he said "... I have many patients need GERSON therapy." Well, I hope he really open the clinic soon.

Unusual Hobby

One of my hobby is building. I like it from a very young age. Yes, I like to create things, especially when I want something that I could not find in the market. Then I would built it myself. As a result, I have acquired a wide range of DIY tools. Many moons ago, I wanted to build my own guitar but for some reasons, I did not pursue it. Lately, I though of buying an acoustic guitar, an introductory model, not that expensive and also not too cheap because I have been playing cheap guitars all my life. By the way, I am just no guitar guru, but only an amateur guitar player. I thought, well instead of buying, why not build one myself? I searched the Internet and yesterday, I found a quite famous local luthier who has been making guitars for over 20 years. Some of his guitars has won international awards. His custom made guitar starts at US$3K.  So I called to him to inquire about the 2 weeks course. At the end of the course, I would not only learn how to make a guitar but build a guitar as part of the course. The course fee is a little steep for me at RM7K (US$2.3K). It still cheap because if you travel overseas to learn, it would costs much more, not including traveling and lodging expenses. At the other end of the continuum, I found a blog that teaches people to build their own guitar with minimal tools. It quite expensive to buy the minimal tools which costs about RM2,100 (US$652) and that does not include the woods, glues and other materials. The picture that your see is his finished product. Anyway, learning from a master is much easier because it will save me from buying all the required tools and the woods and other materials. All these will be provided as part of the course. It's a full time course of attending theory classes and then practical. He has invited me to visit his workshop and gallery to learn more. I would do that and then think if I should proceed or just forget it all together and spent about RM1.5K (US$470) on a factory made guitar.