Imagine

My resolution for 2010 is to survive the year and I think I can safely say I have achieved it. For 2011, I had originally thought I would resolve the same for 2011 but have since decided not to make any resolution. It does not matter if I live for another month or another year, whatever, come with may. I would welcome each new day and live in the moment, something that I have been trying hard to learn to do.

Instead I would like to make some positive affirmations for 2011.
May there be no wars, famines, natural disasters and terrorism.
May there be sufficient food for everyone in the world.
May everyone be well and happy always.

I started the year 2010 with pessimism, with six doctors' words echoing in my mind that I will not survive. Though I have taken an alternative approach, I was actually preparing for my demise like funeral arrangements, etc. I was hoping not to move on during the Chinese New Year period in February 2010. This was a dark period of my life because I was not able to control my emotions well and suicidal thoughts also occured. But as the days moved on, my hopes grew. The period April to June 2010 was a time of confidence for me. My energy levels increased and body pain was at the minimum. During this period, I also experienced healing reactions but generally it was a good period of time. And during good times, time flies. However, during the third quarter of July to September 2010 things started to change for the worst. My scan results showed my tumors are slowing progressing and I was in urgent need for a therapy overhaul. I was left in my own mind games for most of the time, thinking what I can and should do. In was during this quarter that I started looking beyond the physical aspects of the therapy. Some changes that I made in the third quarter seems to help. My scan results in the fourth quarter, although showed mixed results, was a good result. By this time, I have learned not to react to scan results and just concentrate on whatever I can do, cumulating into my visit to the Gerson Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico in December 2010. I think going back to the basics when you lose your way can be helpful. Although the jury is still out there, I am now celeberating life each day as it comes. There is nothing to proof anyway.

I have always been inspired by John Lennon's song, Imagine which is also the title of today's post.

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Goodbye 2010

Rock And Roll Days

Blessings are not valued until they are gone.
Brahma Kumaris

This is a second last day of the 2010 year and tomorrow, I though I would do a quick flashback of my life in 2010 and my resolution for 2011.

The last few days for me has been quite peaceful albeit some pain around my shoulder and back areas. I have reverted back to my normal diet after two days of pumpkin brown rice porridge. Although my indigestion problem has subsided, I have not been eating well, skipping my salads most of the time. I used to eat much more previously. Perhaps this could be due to the mouth ulcers that I have developed.

I have not been able to sleep well for the last two days, frequently getting up for night urine, tossing and turning in bed. I have tried to sleep without the air conditioner on since I came back from USA. The result is that I get sleepy during day time, so I try to sleep in between juices.

Last night, I had a reunion dinner with my ex-colleagues. We had dinner at this cozy Japanese Cafe which is owned and run by, I think a Japanese husband and wife team. I was told the food is good. They were surprised to see me with long hair, teasing me as a rock star. The best I could do is a bathroom singer. I have not cut my hair for seven months now and the last I wore long hair was in the 70s. Remember those rock and roll days? Well, since I am not working now, I thought I would wear long hair for a while. Reminiscence is something we all do and the older we get the more likely we are to fall back on our memories.

Worn Out

Reality is the mirror of your thoughts. Choose well what you put in front of the mirror.
Remez Sasson

This morning my mother said to me, son, you look more tired now than you were before you went to Mexico. Is it because of your travels? I am not sure what's going on but I do feel my energy levels dropping. I think my trip back from the USA has zapped my energy more than I thought it would. I seem tired these few days and have been taking naps at the expense of preparing and drinking my hourly juices. On one hand, I just needed the rests but not taking my juices means I will have less energy. Either way, I will be short of energy. I think I will make up for lack of juices later, for eg. for my 2pm juice, I will take it at 3.30pm instead. This way, I can sleep at 2pm and still have my juices. Hopefully, this would improve my energy levels.

I have been coughing a bit more lately, especially at night or when I lie down. At the same time, I note my heartbeat would slowdown and become irregular. My breathing would sometimes comes to a halt for a beat or two, causing a little heart pain. I still can't seems to cough strongly. I just don't have the energy to mount a strong cough enough to expell all the phlegm at one go. I think I am also developing tonsillitis, my throat is inflammed and a little painful. I will use the home remedy that Joanne Chee taught me, administering hydrogen peroxide on both ears. It seems to help the last time when it happened.

My stomach indigestion has caused me a lot of problems last two days, including taking in raw vegetables and also the steamed vegetables. So I made an unauthorised diet change. Yesterday, I took pumpkin brown rice porridge instead and will contine for a day or two more. Once my stomach discomfort levels are reduced, I will revert back to the normal diet.

Struggling With New Routine

The basis of optimism is sheer terror.
Oscar Wilde

After visiting all the major Telcos this morning, I have decided to subscribe to P1 WIMAX for my broadband Internet access. All the packages on "promotion" are ripped-offs in terms of price, speed and fair usage but I have little choices.

Today, I woke up with stiff neck and shoulder. I was also feeling some pain around my back. I think I have not fully recovered and I have not been able to sleep well and also in between juicing. I am still having some problems with digestion. I feel like thowing out. I am rather tired and I think I will retire to bed earlier today.

Finally, I managed to connect my ebook reader called Literati that I bought in USA to the P1 WIMAX. Somehow, it would not connect to Streamyx. It just keep downloading critical security updates and many restarts. I have yet to download the first book for reading, though it comes preinstalled with a few ebooks. Having a color screen gives you a better feel but I think the downside is that the battery keeps running out very quickly. As for my Cruz 7" Andriod tablet, I have yet to explore it.

I am still struggling with my new routine. I seem to be more complacent now, not as efficient as before. My mind is a little dull. This morning I fumbled while giving myself the morning B12/Liver injection. I thought my hands would be steadier by now but I am still far from it. The juices and the lunch and dinner are too close together, so much so I have problems taking them all.

After Travel Blues

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
Henri Matisse

Ever since I coughed blood in Mexico, I think something is cooking in my lungs. It seems to be congested everyday and yesterday, I cough another blood stained tissue out. The only consolation was that I did not cough fresh blood. Today was also a difficult day for me. After doing my morning enema, I had my breakfast. After that I was having some difficulty coughing that was followed by the slow and irregular heartbeat. Breathing was a little difficult and I lied down to rest. I felt better by lunch time. However, more pain was to come. I was experiencing some pain around my lymph node on left collar bone for the first time when I was doing my afternoon enema. I thought things would be better after this but it was not to be. Immediately after dinner, I suddendly felt the urge to vomit and my stomach was churning for no apparent reason. Breathing slowed down and heartbeat irregular. Again I had to lie down on the bed to rest.

I must admit, despite having 14 months of experience in the Gerson Therapy (GT) at home, I was still not prepared to handle the new routine demanded by the clinic. The 13 hourly juices was too much and I had trouble keeping pace. My mother who is also my caregiver all this while has been supporting me to prepare my lunches and dinners. If not for her, I would have not be able to do the GT. Since coming back from Mexico, I have been requesting her to try some of the new recipes and this have given her even more work. While I can tell she is very happy to help her son to do whatever she can, I on the other hand feel guilty. At her golden age, she is taking care of me instead of the other way around. I am not keeping count and letting these moments flow. You may say mother and son bonding. Someone once told me, if not now, when? Mother, thank you for unrelentless support.

Gerson Clinic Review

Keep true, never be ashamed of doing right; decide on what you think is right and stick to it.
T.S. Eliot

Many of my friends would like to know the outcome of my treatment at the Gerson Clinic in Mexico. I think many of them would think in terms of conventional medicine where you enter into a hospital, take chemotherapy/surgery/radiation and then a couple of months later you either expect to recover or the situation become worst.

Alternative Therapy
Alternative therapy like Gerson Therapy (GT) is not the same. I would put the GT as an immune rebuilding therapy. To do that, it takes a long time and the average is about two years. Although there are reports that many Gerson patients that saw positive results within nine months, that should not be used as a yardstick. In any case, we are looking at many months into the future before we can see any results.

So all I can say for the moment is that I was under the care of qualified doctors who prescribed a customised therapy for me to follow. The standard GT that I followed 14 months earlier has been somewhat effective, otherwise I would not be around to continue to write this blog. But it could have been better, which is why I took this trip to Mexico. I was using a modified version of GT. What does this mean? I did not take four of the essential supplements (not available locally) and the B12 and liver injections. Now I am on the full therapy. I am keeping my fingers crossed and see what happens when I do the monthly blood test in the next six months.

Gerson Clinic
The Gerson clinic in Tijuana, Mexico is not like a hospital or the clinic that you see locally in Malaysia. It's basically a large detached double storey house in a fenced and secured compound. At any one time, it can support 10 patients. It's more like a simple resort like environment. Except for the Nursing Station, there are no traces of medicines or what you would typically smell while at hospitals. My two complaints are if they have shaded verendahs (it rains) from the rooms to the dining hall and also a larger area for patients to do walks inside the compound, especially after dark.

The Therapy
For me, doing the therapy over here in Mexico is much more relaxing because there are staffs does all the work for you. You just need to keep time of when to do what (basically when's breafast/lunch/dinner and doing coffee enemas). Juices are delivered to the rooms and the doctor visits you in your room too. Only the injections and clay packs are administered at the Nusring Station. You can then sleep the whole day or takes short walks to the beach which is 5 minutes walk away.

There is one important aspect of doing the therapy at home that I think one should know. Lugol solution is added to the apple+carrot and carrot juices. However, at the sametime, you MUST also take the thyroid supplements. If you don't do that (like what happened to me), you can get a case of hyperthyroidism which can be fatal in itself. This is my most important discovery while here.

It is difficult to duplicate the same intensity while at the clinic and back home unless you have people to assist you. Besides that, you can also expect the food to taste different when back home. Firstly you cannot cook that many variety as most likely you are the only one to eat that diet. You need time and effort to prepare. I am having a hard time trying to adjust, so let's be realistic about this. Secondly, the quality of fruits and vegetables would be different. This is because we source it from different locations and hence may not taste as good as that in the clinic. A good example is carrot. So the food you make may not be that tasty and that's my case. Thirdly, you are under professional care, so everything is sort of on the dot but back home, you will be under pressure to keep time. The juicing is every hour for 13 hours! That itself is difficult to keep and follow. What about the cooking, boiling coffee, buying vegetables, etc? Lastly but not least, you have allowed yourself to be cared by professionals. It's important to start 'correctly', meet other patients and get encouraged and motivated.

Worth My Money?
I have not come across any therapy (conventional or alternative) that guarantees recovery. Of course, those with early cancer stages stands a better chance of recovery.

For me, this is a question of my life. Is my life worth investing that much money (within my means) to give myself a chance to heal? You bet.

I have just given myself hope and that's worth more than any money in my bank. I definitely don't want you to be in my position to find out. Trust me on this. If I survive and becomes broke as a result, that's another story, for another day.

Health Status @ 25 December 2010

It's been more than two weeks since I last post my health status update. I would also like to take this opportunity to wish all my Christians friends

Merry Christmas!

New information are presented in italics.

Problem
Tumor mass of size of about 15cm on the right kidney and 21 and 20 nodes all over my left and right lungs respectively with one up to 3cm in size on both lungs. Confirmed that it has not spread to the live. All other organs are also normal.

Latest scan on 26 November 2010 showed slight improvement in the kidney tumor (shrunk from 15cm to 11.4cm) but the nodes on the lungs were also a little larger. In the August 2010 scan, it was the other way around.

X-rays scan on 26 September 2010 over the scapula (the bone of the shoulder), pelvic and upper back areas shows no obvious bony metastasis.

Prognosis
Consulted four urologists (one in Singapore and three in Malaysia) and two oncologists (one in Malaysia and one in Singapore). Both oncologists suggested removal of right kidney. Singapore urologist also suggested removal of kidney. The three urologists do not recommend surgery or chemotherapy. The last urologist consulted said most of his patients died within six months of surgery while two on the expensive (RM20K per month) drug Sutent is not responding. All agree that is no cure for the moment.

My urologist said my cancer is at stage 4 and did not recommend me to take any treatment. It is also my own choice not to take conventional treatment after considering all the facts of the case.

Subsequently during the 1 year review on 2 September 2010, my oncologist in Singapore recommended that I consider:

a. Tumor debulk and
b. Sutent medication or
c. Interferon treatment

I have so far rejected the recommendation.

MAIN THERAPIES
a. Gerson Therapy
a1. Coffee Enema
Following Gerson Clinic's recommendation of three enema daily and alternative day castor oil enema. Due to the strength of the coffee, my enema formula is 4oz coffee, 8oz camomile and 12oz of water.

a2. Nutrition Diet
All fruits and vegetables mentioned are organic.
i. Juicing - 13 fruit and vegetables juices a day beginning around 8am and ending 7pm. 1 orange, 5 apple+carrot, 3 carrot and 4 green vegetable juices every hourly.
2. Diet - No oil, no sugar and no salt on all cooking. For breakfast and supper, mainly oats with some raisins, sometimes a little Manuka honey is added. For lunch and dinner, vegetables such as Siew Pak Choy, Lettuce, lady's fingers, cauliflower, broccoli and spinach are mainly steamed or boiled. K-salt is added for flavoring. A teaspoon of flaxseed oil is added when serving (but not during cooking). Mainly boiled potatoes and sometimes Somali organic brown rice (once a week) is consumed. Hippocrates soup are also prepared every other day for daily consumption.
3. Supplements - K-salt, niacin, lugol solution, pancreatin, pepsin, Q10, Inflamezyme, Milk Tistle, Colostrum. Thyroid, Liver and B12 injections daily.
4. Others - Rye bread, papaya, guavas, oranges and bananas are consumed at regular intervals.

b. Homeopathy Medicine
Consulting Doctor: DR AU Ramakrishnan MBBS, PhD, Chennai, India (http://www.drramakrishnan.com/)
Local Consultant: Vishuddi Lee
Treatment Started: 6 November 2009.
Consulting: Once every two months in Singapore. Next appointment 7 January 2011.
Reaction: No further reactions observed other than mouth ulcers every now and then.
Stauts: Suspended for the time being.

c. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
Clinic: CA Care, Subang Jaya Center (http://www.cacare.com/)
Main Consultant: Dr Chris Teo
Treatment Started: 27 August 2010.
Medication: Capsule A+B, 4 capsules 3 time daily. Lungs, liver and kidney herbs to be taken once a day. C-tea to be taken throughout the day.
Reaction: Stomach a little uncomfortable after taking Capsule A and the herbs. Increase frequency in night urine.
Status: Suspended for the time being.

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPIES
d. Oxygen Therapy
Started using a personal oxygen generator with effect from 8 March 2010 about 1 hour in the evening, 20 minutes per session. Richer oxygen does help in controlling the growth of the tumors. It also reduces fatigue.

e. Zhineng Qigong
Started practicing qigong on 11 March 2010. Attend classes five times a week from 6.30am to 8am.

Health Status
My flight back has taken some toll on my weight as access to vegan food was not available. I now weighs 64.8kg. At the moment, I still feel very good. There are slight congestion around my lungs (getting coughs in the middle of the night) and I also find it difficult to cough. Sometimes heartbeat is regular and slow. My phlegm is normal.

A little pain is experienced at the back area.


Verdict
Very tiring journey back and very interesting two weeks in Tijuana, Mexico.

Home Sweet Home

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White

On my last day in San Diego, I decided to do last minute shopping and took a cab to Best Buy at about 12noon. Best Buy is out of town and it was drizzling. The road leading to the store was closed because one section of the road was flooded. There is so much to see there and the sales people were so helpful, unlike those in Malaysia. I had a field time there and bought two items, a ebook reader and an Android 7" tablet. By the time I was ready to leave, it was still raining and with the help of Best Buy staff, they arrange a cab for me. It was about 2.15pm then. My flight is at 5pm, still got time, I thought. But because the road was flooded, the cab did not show up by 3pm and I was beginning to get worried. But an angel was by my side. There was this young man called David and he was doing missionary work for the church and I did made a small donation to his church earlier. We spoke briefly at the door while waiting for my cab to come as he wanted to know more about Malaysia. After a while, he sense that I uneasy and I told him I need to catch a plane at 5pm and immediately offered to sent me to the airport for free. However, since he is supposed to collect donation during this time and in sending me to the airport, he say I could make another donation for his time. I gladly agreed . Phew, just got to the airport in time for check-in. A close call.

My flight back was not as difficult as I predicted. Because of the rain and tunderstorms, the flight out of California was bumpy all the way. I took the opportunity to catch some sleep, trying to get my body in sync back with the time zone in Malaysia. I think this strategy must have worked because I was not having any of the jetlag symptoms today and I only felt tired.

During this 25 hours journey back, I have broken the eating rules. I was hungry and although I had rye bread, I just could not survive on it alone. So I took vegetarian food. I am feeling quite well. However, my breathing feels a little heavy (irregular heartbeats at times) and I think my lungs are still not clear. Perhaps some old remanants of the previous episode are still in there.

Many of my friends have SMSed me about my trip. I will post on Sunday my experiences.

Its Raining Cats and Dogs In California

It is important that you recognize your progress and take pride in your accomplishments. Share your achievements with others. Brag a little. The recognition and support of those around you is nurturing.”
Rosemarie Rossetti

The weather here in California is in havoc, storm of the decade as reported in the news. Heavy rains and cold all over and snowfalls in central Sierra. In San Diego, it's drizzling all day long and according to the weather forecast, another cold front is expected to sweep from Alaska into California this Wednesday. I am keeping my fingers crossed in the hope that the airports/flights will not be affected.

We took slightly more than two hours to get back into US from Tijuana, Mexico. The operator of the shuttle van has special arrangements at the US border crossing to allow to patients to pass through much faster. Normally, it would take at least four hours to cross the border for vehicles that uses the normal lanes. The baggage checking and passport control is much easier for us under this arrangement. We was informed that we cannot take any fruits (banana is an exception) into US. It reminds me of the Causeway border crossing from Malaysia into Singapore and vice versa during peak hours.

I will be making a short post today and may not have Internet access while travelling.

Nostalgic Feelings

I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet.
Ancient Persian Saying

Today is my penultimate day here at the clinic. There are mixed feelings as usual. On one hand, my therapy is coming to an end and I will be heading home to meet my family members. I miss them. At the same time, I made some good friends here. I had the same feeling early this week when patients started leaving the clinic.

Yesterday afternoon, during my coffee enema, I had an unusual episode. I was coughing profusely and all of a sudden, instead of phlegm, I felt some semi-hard object that I have to spit out. As it turns out, it looks like a small fish (about 2 over inches in size, no joke) with traces of blood clots. I continued to cough blood clots and there was also fresh blood along with it after that. That was the pretty bad. There was so much blood clots and blood coming out with every cough, I wonder when the coughs would stop and finally when it did, I quickly rinse my mouth of the blood. Later I showed it to my night doctor and he thinks it is also a small fish and suggested that it be taken to the lab for analysis. This morning, I consulted my regular doctor and he said it does look like a fish but said it is cartilage, mucus and some tissues. Not sure if it is tumor tissues but he did not agree to proceed with the lab analysis because not just because it costs US$200 to do the analysis, but thinks that it is still a little too early. He said he has seen shapes of shoes and trees. Anyway, he said this is a good sign the lungs is clearing but warned me if there are more fresh blood in my coughs, then he will have to give me some medication to stop the bleeding and also asked me not to take niacin for the time being. I actually felt good about this episode. Finally I thought, clearing of unwanted 'rubbish' from my lungs!

The weather was quite warm this morning, so I went down to the beach for a walk again. Watching the waves breaking and some dolphins circulating in the water made me felt calm and relaxing. So much so, I forgot to go back to the clinic for my hourly juices.

Gerson Clinic Tijuana, Mexico

Each day we face new situations - nothing remains the same. When we learn to adapt we are happy, whatever the situation may be.
Brahma Kumaris

In connection with some comments from John of Australia, I thought I will reply as a new post because he raised some very important questions about Gerson Therapy (GT).

Although Pancreatic cancer (PC) is an agressive cancer, Charlotte Gerson has said the clinic has healed patients with PC before. When a patient has chemo, about 50% of the chemo will be discharged within 4-5 days after the application. The other 50% of it is lodged inside the body. Getting the body back into the pre-chemo state takes more time. Depending on how many cycles of chemo that your sister has done, all is not lost. Even if she had taken the full 6-8 cycles, restoration can still take place but a much longer time is required. Normally a patient who has done chemo would be required to have a 6-9 months break before castor oil enema can be used to detox the body.

Doing GT @ Home
Basically, you can do the GT by yourself using Dr Max Gerson's book, A Cancer Therapy: Results of 50 Cases or Charlotte Gerson's book, HEALING The Gerson Way as a guide. You can also engage a qualified Gerson Therapist to help you to do the therapy at home. If you are doing it yourself like me, then the therapy that I am doing is a standard therapy (which you can copy from the book without modification).

The difference by doing it in Mexico is that, I get an individualised therapy. It takes into consideration the type of cancer and the state of health of the patient after the blood test results. The diet, additional juices, supplements and other treatments will then be customised for that patient. Over here, the patient will get 24 hours monitoring and once a week blood tests. Adjustments will be made immediately after results of the blood tests, if any. If the patients has some kind of complaints or pain, the doctor will also immediately modify or add additional remedies. For example, I could not sleep for three nights and the doctor found that the reason was due to my coffee solution that I was using for my enemas was too strong and immediately adjusted the formulation. No problems sleeping after that.

Back home then, I was following a standard therapy because I do not know enough on how the vary the therapy for my type of cancer. But nonetheless, it was still effective. The juicing is pretty standard, only how many juices a patient can take, though I was taking 11 hourly juices a day (recommended 13 a day). The number of juices is really dependent on the patient's body condition, the doctor will then decide. The body needs all the nutrients and enzymes it needs to rebuild the toxic body.

The minimum stay is two weeks and the recommended stay is three weeks. Just before discharge, the doctor will then prescribed a three month schedule for the patient to follow back home. The patients is recommended to keep in contact with the clinic and submit monthly blood tests so that the doctor can vary or adjust the therapy as required. However, consultation is not free and costs US$60 per half hour.

Although not required, some patients do come back to the clinic for renewal or for a refresher. We have one patient here from Malaysia who came back after his blood results deteriorated because he became more relax with his food intake after leaving the clinic 15 months ago. His body is still free of tumors but felt the need to come back to get back on track.

Gerson Supplements
Depending on where you stay, getting the complete Gerson supplements may be a problem. For me, I could not get some of the supplements (eg Inflamezyme, Colostrum, Thyroid, B12 and Liver injections). One supplement, B17 is effective only for certain types of cancer (eg. Breast) and so not every patient will be given B17 injections.

You can order them from the Internet stores but you would not know if those supplements are "approved" or not. After coming to Gerson Clinic, I now know but I can tell you where to buy them directly without having to come to the clinic. Contact anama@sbcglobal.net or www.ishimedical.com.

Anyway, getting all the supplements are important and is part of the therapy. It helps to heal the body and fight the tumors. Getting injections have a better effect than taking the supplements orally.

Just before discharge from the clinic, we are recommended to buy three month's supply of supplements to take back home. We are not recommended to buy more than three months because the doctor can order a variation in supplements intake. I find the costs of the supplements here way cheaper than back home, most of the time 25%-30% cheaper.

Complementary Therapies
I know many patients (I spoke to some of them while here) take complementary therapies in addition to the GT. Charlotte Gerson feels strongly about her father's therapy and thinks that GT is all you need.

Personally I also take additional therapies that I think will give my body the extra help it needs. However, throughout the duration of my stay here, I suspended my other complementary therapies. This is to avoid "complications" like this pain is happening to you because you took an additional remedy that is not recommended or the like.

Cold Days Ahead

To begin to think with purpose is to enter the ranks of those strong ones who only recognize failure as one of the pathways to attainment.
James Allen

The day started with the warm sunshine but it was rather windy, especially at the beach. After lunch, the weather turn for the worst and it drizzled and became cold. It was one of the coldest evening I experienced. But then again, when compared to the weather in Malaysia, I rather have cold weather like here. Actually 14°C is not that bad.

I finally did it. This morning, I gave myself injection. I felt I had to do it and the nurse was very helpful. She guided me in the aim, angle and the depth of the injection. I hope tomorrow I can continue but this time, I will use my left hand. I need to be good in using both hands because I cannot jab myself on the same side of the butt everyday.

It's almost 11.30pm here and so I will make my post short today.

Time Out For Myself

People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong...Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?
Thich Nhat Hanh

It rained again this morning and I thought it would also be a cold day. However, just after lunch, the sun was shining bright again and it felt warm. So I took another walk around the beach, just sitting down and watching the incessant waves. The continuous sounds of the waves was meditative in nature only to be punctuated by the occasional calls of the sea gulls. I just sat there in contemplation. It was relaxing, good for calming the mind. Before I knew it, it was time for me to go back to take my hourly juices. Still the little break from the clinic was wonderful. When your live just revolves around the clinic, the monotony will stare blankly at you or mock you. It's time to connect with civilisation.

This is the only activity I could do and I think for the next few days until my departure, I will spent more and more time on the beach. I just like to sit there, not doing anything in particular, just observing the people and the waves.

Well, it's almost the end of the week and my therapy here will end on Monday and I will be flying back on Tuesday next week. Two weeks seems so fast, despite being in a clinic. Well, here everything is fully served and you live almost like a king.

Truthfully, my butt still hurts from all the daily injections and I have yet to take a shot at myself. Yesterday I thought I would try today and today I thought, yeah there is still tomorrow. My stay here has been almost relatively pain free except for minor episodes.

Two more patients will be leaving tomorrow. It's getting quieter here.

468 Days And Counting!

We do not see things they are. We see them as we are.
Talmud

Hey, I am celebrating the begining of my 16 months of being alive in Tijuana, Mexico. It feels great and I look forward to more days to come!

This morning I woke up with pain on my back and shoulder blade area, the worst I got since I came here. I was also feeling nausea. After the morning checkup, I quickly did the morning coffee enema and the pain has somewhat subsided. The pain around the shoulder blade area, however remain throughout the day. My doctor told me this is a healing reaction and there is nothing much to worry about. Not that I am worrying, it just that the pain is disturbing.

The weather has been cold today and there was also a slight drizzle this afternoon. I met Charlotte Gerson for the second time when she came to visit me in my room this morning. She explained to me about my healing reaction and we had quite a pleasent short chat. Later, just before lunch, she delivered her talk about the Gerson Therapy. This time round, we had two guests. They are potential patients. They came over to check out the facilities. One of them flew in all the way from Calgary, Canada while the other is a local.

The taxi driver that drove us around town yesterday was talkative. Most of the time he was trying to sell his services to us and at the same time reminded us what this trip will entails, meaning a shopping tour is just that. Frankly, I find the cost of hiring the taxi at US$50 for two hours expensive. He took us downtown Tijuana for shopping, and showed us the border area (which is along the way to town) where young Mexicans will wait for nightfall to make a jump over the border fence. Last year, a total of about 8,000 Mexicans were found dead trying to cross into US through the Arizona Desert. Tijuana is a hilly area with valleys all over, and very little flat land. It has a population of 3 million and there are 24 universities here!

Don't Worry And Be Happy

You can give in to the failure messages and be a bitter deadbeat of excuses. Or you can choose to be happy and positive and excited about life.
A. L. Williams

After two days of warm and bright sunshine days, the weather has turned cold again this morning. Walking along the beach seems a favourate activity for me. Last Sunday, I took a late walk around the beach to catch the sunset at around 4.30pm. The weather was rather warm at that time and as the sun was setting, I can feel the temperature dropping at the same time. Within minutes, it was cold.

This phenomena reminds me of the status of my body as well. If the body is not maintained well, just like the sunset, it would deteriorate. I understand from the doctor here that the minimum weight of a patient must not fall below 100lbs (46kgs). The doctor reminds me that the minimum that I must eat/drink each day are the potatoes and Hippocrates soup. I think this has worked well for me all this while. When I came here last Monday, I weigh 67kgs and today my weight is 66.3kgs. Not too bad for me because I am used to the Gerson diet all these while. A new patient is expected to lose about 7lbs (3kgs) after starting this diet.

I managed to talk to the other Malaysian patient from Kuching and found out that he has been to the clinic about 15 months ago. His case was a cancer relapse after being in remission for about 5 years. During a routine checkup, the doctors found 3 tumors in his liver in April 2009. After a cycle of chemotherapy, his friend convinced him to do the Gerson therapy and within a month on the program, he went for another scan, his tumors in the liver disappeared. Although he could not attribute fully the recovery to the Gerson Therapy, he felt the therapy has helped him to remain cancer free for the past 19 months. He is back to the clinic for a refresher. Although not strictly required, he still continued to drink his juices and maintain a strict vegeterian diet of no salt, sugar and oil. He is impressive. Yes, it can be done. Nothing quackery about this therapy.

Last Saturday, the trip to downtown Tijuana did not materialise. So today I am joining the others for another outing this afternoon. Have not seen much of Tijuana other than the beach and surrounding areas. I have been warned that begging at tourist areas are prevalent. Someone said he felt depressed after seeing the slums during the trip.

Alone Again Naturally

I was going to buy a copy of "The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?
Ronnie Shakes

I am happy as more and more of you are leaving comments on my blog. Please keep it coming.

I have meet some very good people here and it's sad that our short assoication will have to come to an end when all will have to leave home at the end of our stay here. I guess like all things, there will be an end, good and bad. Time passes rather quickly and this is my last week of stay here. Have I made any progress? I am not sure. I feel good. Tomorrow I will be doing my blood test, the second since I came here. I hope to see some improvements, at least on my Thyroid Simulation Hormones (TSH) reading which went hyperactive causing some swelling on my neck, increase in appetite and loss of weight.

When I started the Gerson therapy, my concentration has been based on facts that I read, not paying attention to some other mental elements that are also important, at least it seems now to me. Positive thinking has been the advice so often given to me. Seek what's deep inside of me, is it causing me to behave in certains ways such as the way I live, love and trust? But what is my inner self? Is it something spiritual, emotional or mythical in nature? I don't really know but hope to find out. I realised that many of my problems arose from a fundamental disconnection with my own awareness of what's going on inside of me and of people around me. This disconnection may cause conflict, a simple relationship irritation, or it can be more serious causing us anxiety, depression, anger, resentment, fixation and a host of other problems. It also affect me in how I respond to help and healing of the disease. There is so much more thinking to do, or rather so much more unlearning and relearning to do. Can't teach old dog new tricks? I certaintly hope not.

Having cancer has caused me to believe that we are a special group of people. Nobody else will understand us, not even our close family members and friends. As a result, we cause ourselves to feel alineated. We turn away our family and friends who are trying to help and the journey to battle the disease seems lonely, our own fight. I have read of this in many of the other cancer patients' blog. It seems to convince me that many cancer patients feels this way. I have been reminded that it does not have to be this way. I don't believe there is not a single soul in this world who have not experienced some form of pain in their lives. Yes, they may not be in the same degree as cancer patients but they know what pain is like. By allowing people to come into my life, being more open about my feelings and fears would certainly be a better approach, at least I know now, after having bumped my head into the wall many times.

It Starts With A Dream

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.
Albert Einstein

Yesterday, I had my first good sleep. I have been coughing for a while and the doctors here have put me on some natural remedies like peppermint tea with lemon and honey and inhalation of camomile tea vapour to help me clear my lungs. The breeze of the cold weather is not good for me and the doctors have ordered me to stay indoors in such situations. The other changes made were the change in the formulation of my coffee enema solution. I am now using 4oz of coffee, 8oz of camomile and 12oz of water as my enema solution. The coffee solution here is just too strong, possibly the culprit for keeping me awake in the night.

The sun was just bright this morning and the weather the warmest that I experienced since arriving here. The short walk at the beach was refreshing. The beach is littered with thousands of smooth beautiful pebbles. If this beach were in Malaysia, I am sure the pebbles would be gone overnight! There were a number of surfers waiting in the cold waters for the next 'perfect' wave to come but throughtout my short walk, I saw none. The waves height were about a meter or less. As I watched the waves pounded the beach in continuous cycle, it reminded me of my current journey. A continuous cycle of positive and negative thoughts that keep circulating in the mind. Disillutioned at times and yet on the horizon, a glimmer of hope awaits me. The only difference is that the waves that pounded the beach is consistent and regular. I think the key for me is determination.

As I was wondering around the beach, it occured to me that some of the things I started doing was fantasizing the results as I would like it to happen to me. Wishful thinking is a good start for me, for it got me going in the first place. Back in the reality would mean I would be so loigcal and miss out the alternatives which I so dearly needed. Sometimes I think I don't need to be logical, I just need to live and the rest would flow accordingly.

Morning Has Broken

When you wholeheartedly adopt a "with all your heart" attitude and go out with the positive principle, you can do incredible things.
Norman Vincent Peale

One of my failings is that sometimes I do not put in enough efforts or lack of follow up on a positive idea. Somehow I will have excuses for not doing it. I am aware of this condition yet I am procrastinating as if waiting for someone to knock my head to keep reminding me. I find this behaviour of mine disturbing. I have sometime here and I have been reflecting. I think I may have discovered the reason and I will have to work with my hypnotherapist on how to resolve this issue.

Despite being in this part of the world for for week now, I seems to have problems sleeping at night. This morning I woke up at 2.30am only after about 4 hours of sleep. I tried to sleep again but could not and it's 3.5 hrs away to morning. So I sat in meditation for about 30 minutes, then listened to my mp3 player for some soothing music to get in the mood to sleep. The problem is that I normally don't but by 5am, I would be very tired and then sleep again only to wake up 6am (6.30am on non castor oil enema days) to prepare for the day's activities. To catch up, I do sleep during the days but this has put me in a viscous cycle fo sleeping in the day and waking at night. Sigh...

I am not sure if the sleep is due the pain around my ribs and back area or not. I have been having these pains for about 2.5 days now and it really gets me into depressed moods. I normally retreat back to my room as I am normally in no mood for conversations. Yesterday afternoon was really bad and there was a juicing demonstration going on. I just felt nauseated and just could not wait for the demonstration to complete. I quickly went back to my room and rested. I felt so much better after the rests.

After a few days on interaction with the other patients, I can tell you that all of them are really scared and this place represents their last hope. All the smiles could not disguise their fear of death. One former patient just wanted to recover just after one month of treatment at the clinic. I wish this was possible but rebuilding the immune system takes time. More often than not, I think our fears normally have the better of us. Despite knowing that it is important to keep positive, why is it that we most often are unable to?

This morning, after breakfast, as usual I went for my morning injection. Today I had my first assisted injection. The nurse explained the place on the butt where the injection can be taken. He then took the needle and said to inject at right angle and before I knew it, the needle was sunked in. Then he asked me to take over and push the fluids in. Just before taking the needle out, to press the cotton against the butt before pulling the needle out. Not so bad actually. I think the difficult part for me is when sinking the needle in. Well, the nurse said I could practice on an orange. The doctor will be giving more instructions on tomorrow's lecture.

Good Morning From Tijuana

The mind is like a river; upon its waters thoughts float through in a constant procession every conscious moment. You stand on a bridge over it and can stop and turn back any thought that comes along. The art of contentment is to let no thought pass that is going to disturb you.
Dr. Frank Crane

Since yesterday afternoon, I experience pain around my ribs and on my back. I am not sure if it was due to the hospital bed that I am sleeping on. I find it too soft. I have asked the co-ordinator to add a board on the base of the bed and now, it's firmer. Hopefully, the pain will improve as the day progresses.

This morning, I did not see a number of patients during breakfast. One day you are fine and another day not. That seems to be the case here. Still all of us here are maintaining a very positive and caring attitude towards each other, always enouraging and smiling.

I think most Malaysians will find many of the goods sold in US cheap when compared to Malaysia. Yesterday the new Honda CRV was on sale for US$19K (RM60K) and the new Kia Sorento was just under US$13K (RM41K). Of course, cars are very cheap here but I also found electronics, clothing and almost everything, probably the exception being restaurant food and those cheap Chinese goods that we buy at the RM2 dollar shop back home expensive.

Tomorrow, I hope with the permission of my doctor, he will allow me to go out for a two hour tour of Tijuana by taxi. I was told the part where the clinic is located is considered a 'wealthy' neighbourhood and I should also see the other less developed areas of Tijuana. Life is tough for most of the Mexicans here.

La Vida Es Buena

Fill your mind with light, happiness, hope, feelings of security and strength, and soon your life will reflect these qualities.
Remez Sasson

For a long time, I can't seem to put on much weight and I think I know why now. Apparently acccording to my doctor here, I have been using lugol solution (ie iodine) alone in my carrot+apple juices. As such my thyroid gland has been hyperactive causing my metabolic rate to increase. I need to balance it with thyroid supplement but back then at home I could not get that supplement. My doctor is now correcting this imbalance.

Despite being here for four days, I have still not summoned enough courage to learn how to take injections. I will have to try and overcome my fear of giving myself injections. Many have done it and I hope by the time I leave here I can do it.

The atmosphere here is very good and the staff and the patients are all supportive of each other. Many of the patients here, including me go through up and down mood swings. One day good and another day bad. I can also see the fear in many of them, although unspoken. I was told they were encouraged by my presence here because I have completed the Gerson Therapy for 14 months before I came to the clinic and I am still alive despite being a Stage 4 cancer patient. In a way I felt good to have given some people some hope and we all really need it.

You are right that I am enjoying myself here. Its eating and resting here. I wish I could stay here for three weeks instead of two.

La vida es buena.

Meeting Charlotte Gerson In Person

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.
Marcus Aurelius (A.D. 121-180)

Althought I have been resting, actually I have not been sleeping well. You see, I slept during the daytime and can't sleep well at night. I think it could be I am sleeping too much or my body clock has not fully adjusted to local time yet. I have been avoiding seeing the doctor to take any medication.

To give you an idea what I do here on a typical day:



As you can see, I am pretty occupied everyday. In addition to the above, I also have to attend cooking & juicing classes and health talks. The only thing I don't have to do is the actual juicing.

Every Wednesday, Ms Charlotte Gerson,88 , daughter of Dr Max Gerson will drive all the way from California to the clinic in Tijuana by herself. Despite her age, she does not have any of the old age symptoms that we see. Why? Well she attributed her health to adhering the Gerson diet. She and the doctor in attendance visited my room at about 11.30am this morning. Yes, I finally met her in person. She is very passionate about her father's therapy. We have a chat and I also asked her some questions. Later I managed to have her authorgraphed a copy of her book and also took a picture with her. I will try and post the picture up later.

My blood test result is out and so far, my doctor says the result are within expectation. But I learned some new things about some of the items. Although my RBC is below the normal range, the doctors says that this is acceptable because the infected red blood cells are also killed in the process. The GGT is high and the reason for it is that the enzymes are there to attack the tumor. My ECG and blood pressure are also within normal range. So far so good.

Today, I finally managed to meet two patients that I have not been able to. The patient from India and another patient from LA. We are all a bunch of very supporting people and always encouraging each other. Like Charlotte Gerson said, we will be healed. I second to that.

Tomorrow Will Be Better

This is the best day the world has ever seen. Tomorrow will be better.
R.A. Campbell

My second day here has been quite good. The food is good and I have been eating much more that the other patients. They were just amazed the amount of food helping I took. I can't help it because I would feel hungry again in two hours time. I started the full program today doing 13 juices a day. Some of the patients feel full just from the juices and can't take their lunch and dinner.

The weather is rather cold for me. At different times of the day, the weather seems to be changing between cool and cold. This makes doing the coffee enemas a little difficult, especially at night. The enema time are fixed by my doctor. So far, all my enemas are in the daytime but it will increase to five times daily which will involve early morning and at night as well. Although there is a heater in the room, the heat generated is not sufficient. So I use a blanket to help keep warm.

I took my first injection today. It was not as painful as I thought but still I have to learn how to give myself injections from Saturday onwards. I am still trying to figure out how to convince myself to inject a needle on my own butt. I understand I may have to do this for five months!

I had my first short stroll along the beach today after the 3pm juicing. It was a hot or should I say not a cold day. The waves were pounding as if venting their anger on the beach. It was quiet, a few couples were seen along the beach but the beach and street were deserted. Economic activity here seems to be centered around the US navel base nearby.

I just found out next week, with one week left before the clinic closes for the winter break, another Malaysian will be admitted to the clinic. I am looking forward to meet him. I was told that he has been to the clinic before.

First Day At Gerson Clinic

There are always flowers for those who want to see them.
Henri Matisse

This morning, my shuttle car came to take me to Tijuana was late for about 20 minutes. Judy who was the driver is such a nice person and we had such a good conversation during the entire 30 minutes drive from San Diego to Tijuana. Crossing to Mexico is such a breeze, no formalities, no immigration, nothing. We just drove across the border. But on the opposite direction, cars were lining up to go back into USA. According to Judy, it can take 2 to 3 hours of waiting just to get back to the US side. There are a total of four border crossings and for my return trip, Judy said she will use another border crossing that will be much faster, possibly about 45 minutes to get back into US.

I arrived at the playas (beach in Spanish) where the clinic is located. So the patients are allowed to go for short walks along the beach (two blocks away) during the day. Patients are not allowed out of the clinic compound after 6pm. During winter time, it gets dark by 5pm and the temperature at night can drop from 17°C in the daytime to about 5°C at night. I think the security in the clinic area is not too bad but I was told not to take my cellphone and accessories (like gold, etc) with me when I do my walks.

The clinic is a double story detached house and can accomodate 10 patients at a time. It was much smaller than I tought and including me, there are 9 patients. Most of them will be leaving this week as I was the last of patient admitted before the clinic closes on 20 December for the winter break. The atmosphere is quite nice and quite. I think it is very condusive for healing. The staffs here are very good and friendly. The food is delicious. Much better than what I have been eating back home. I will need to learn how they made it so that I could do the same back home. Most of the patients hails from US and Canada and one each from India, New Zealand and Malaysia. They are all very happy and most of the patients are recovering. I have yet to meet the patient from India as he seems to be in his room most of the time. I found out that the last Malaysian that stayed in the clinic was from Kuching about five months ago.

Well I have been only a day here, I guess that will be more to discover. I spent most of my time sleeping because I don't have to do any juicing and the juices are delivered to my room at the scheduled time. I took my coffee enema this afternoon and I will be starting the castor oil enema tomorrow. So far so good. I am still getting hungry but unfortunately no otameal in between. So I got only fruits to fill my tummy at night. Better than nothing. Tomorrow I will be on the full regime including getting injections. For the first 5 days, the nurse will help me but I will have to do my own injections after that. Sigh...

Impression Of San Diego

Positive thoughts are not enough. There have to be positive feelings and positive actions.
Remez Sasson

I got my first bird eye viewe of San Diego city up in the sky when I arrived last Friday inside the American Eagle plane as it was landing. Not that many high rise buildings and the streets seem congested because I could see lots of cars on the freeway. The plane landed in Terminal R, possibly the oldest terminal of the San Diego International Airport. The plane was small and could sit about 51 of us only. Checkout was quick and easy. I waitied for about 15 minutes outside the airport for a taxi but none was forthcoming. It was already dark and not to mention cold then and finally I asked an airport official for directions on how to take the public bus to downtown.

The bus was rather empty, only four of us. The road to downtown was not congested at all, in fact rather quite for a Friday night. I was happy as bus stopped on the start of the street where the motel was located. However, after 15 minutes of walking, I still could not see the motel in sight and was begining to get worried. After askeing for more directions, I found out that the motel was located at the other far end of the same street, about another 15 minutes walk. As I was walking towards the motel, I could see quite a number of homeless people making the sidewalk as their home. Most of them only had a blanket over their body to shelter against the cold. The final block to the motel was a steep climb and I was trying to catch my breath when I reach the motel reception area.

My half day San Diego trip was cancelled due to insufficient demand. So I spent the afternoon exploring the town. I noticed that there are also quite a lot of homeless people sleeping beside the sidewalks of offices and department stores. Like Saturday, the town was rather quiet, not many cars on the road. I like the slow pace of life here. No rushing at all. However, I do not know what it will be like on Monday when it is a work day. Despite Christmas being just around the corner, there are not much decorations in shopping complexes or on the streets at all. Even at the motel where I stayed, not a single Christmas tree was spotted.

I bought some used quality CDs at rather reasonable prices. I think many things are much cheaper here (after conversion) compared to back home. However, made in China products here are more expensive after conversion. Well, if you are earning US$, I think most things are cheap if you don't do the conversion.

I have been eating non approved food for the past three days. Of course it tastea good, compared to my normal plain no salt, no oil and no sugar diet. Here I take mainly vegetarian diet, so there will be some amount of suger, salt and oil. I also eat vegie salads on my own. I find the weather cold especially in the night, my body rather weakened as compared to my pre-cancer days. Rodeway Inn is quite a decent hotel and I find the room rather big and clean and they also provide free wifi access. Tomorrow morning, I will be going to the Gerson Clinic at Tijuana at 8.30am to start my therapy. I have also been sleeping a lot and resting. I am tired from the travelling but my health is good at the moment.

An Eating Trip

I am not afraid of tomorrow, for I have seen yesterday and I love today.
William Allen White quotes

I thought I thank you for all your comments on yesterday's post.

Well, I did have a good sleep but it was such a short one. I got up at about 1am local time, about 3 hours of sleep but when I got up, I thought it was already morning but it was not. Then I could not sleep the whole nite and waited till about 5am before I could sleep again but only to wake up again at about 7.15am. Went to a 7-11, Deli shop and Ralph's Groceries. Bought lots of organic food and even after the conversion into Malaysian currency, it was still cheaper here. Took mainly vegetables salads and fruits but I keep getting hungry.

After I came back, I made lunch and then spend the whole afternoon sleeping. Jet lag I guess. By the time I woke up and after my bath, it's time again for a meal. It's sounds like an eating trip. I am hungry. The cold weather made walking around downtown a little challenging.

Tomorrow, I will be taking a half day tour of San Diego. This is the quickest way I think I can see San Diego with the little time I have. Hopefully, I would recover from my jet lag by then.

Greetings From San Diego!

Goals are simply tools to focus your energy in positive directions, these can be changed as your priorities change, new one added, and others dropped.
Author Unknown

I have never traveled so many hours non-stop in a single day. The trip to San Diego took me 25 hours including two transits. I am now blogging this post from my motel, Rodeway Inn in downtown San Diego. By the time I reached my motel, it was almost 7.30pm local time and the temperature sure seems less than 14°C and coupled with the wind blowing, it was cold. I was also famished. Getting vegetarian food is also a problem and in the end I settled for Lebanese food. I had Hummus with pita bread and Fattoush, a Lebanese vegetarian salad. Of course, the food I took is not approved but I had no choice. I took the least damaging foods.

Then I came back to the motel, had a quick bath, post this blog and straight to bed. Well, I hope to give you some more updates tomorrow.

All Ready To Go!

If you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only beIf you begin the day with love in your heart, peace in your nerves, and truth in your mind, you not only benefit by their presence but also bring them to others, to your family and friends, and to all those whose destiny draws across your path that day.
Author : Unknown

Tomorrow I will be flying off to San Diego via Hong Kong and LA. So I will try and blog if I get Internet access during transit and while at the Hotel. I would be able to blog at the Clinic in Mexico. So possibly for the next two days, I may not be able to blog and would try and update whenever possible.

I have just finished packing, sort of last minute. Maybe I am very relaxed, although I am looking forward to see downtown San Diego. Maybe also because I am familar with the Gerson Protocol, so I can afford to relax a bit.

Many of my friends have called/SMSed with get well wishes and some even took time off to visit me. Thank you all and I am grateful to have friends like you who responded in my hour of need.

I am also excited at the same time to visit the Clinic in Tijuana, Mexico. I heard so much about the Clinic and now to experience firsthand. I hope to learn new things there and understand the Gerson Protocol better not just for my own benefit and hopefully be able to help those who wants to follow this therapy later. In sharing, I am also helping myself.

I will be back on 23 December 2010 just in time to celebrate Christmas.

All Systems Go

Four Lessons on Life
1. Never take down a fence until you know why it was put up. 2. If you get too far ahead of the army, your soldiers may mistake you for the enemy. 3. Don't complain about the bottom rungs of the ladder they helped to get you higher. 4. If you want to enjoy the rainbow, be prepared to endure the storm.
Warren Wiersbe

Yes, I have missed on day of posting yesterday and I was really busy. I will also keep my post short today. So far, all systems go.

Since I have changed my local organic coffee powder to that from USA, the smell of the coffee as I was boiling the coffee solution for my enema is so aromatic that it can put Starbucks coffee to shame. And what a waste you might say. Yucks, better not talk about it!

In my early days of my cancer therapy, I have only concentrated on the physical aspects. Of course overtime, my friends and from books, I realised to solve the cancer problem, there is more to it. Here is an interesting article on cancer.

Cancer Can Be Cured by Andreas Moritz
To discover and understand the physical causes of cancer you will first need to let go of the idea that cancer is a disease. In our modern world, we have learned to go more by the superficial appearances and less by the rather concealed larger picture of things. It is in the nature of life that for every symptom there is an underlying cause, yet the cause lies hidden and seems to be unrelated to the symptom. Purely mechanistic approaches to treating the body, as they are applied in the system of allopathic medicine, usually fall short in locating and healing these hidden causes. They will remain undetected unless we begin to view the body as a process that is organized by a superb combination of energy and information or intelligence rather than an assembly of different parts as can be found in a machine.

It resembles middle age technology to treat the body as if it were just made of cells and molecules. Our modern technologies and computers were all derived from the principles of information and energy as discovered by quantum physics, yet when it comes to treating the human body we are still relying mostly on the old, outdated Newtonian principles of understanding the nature of life. It is relatively easy to understand the way the human body operates if we were to apply the principles of quantum physics.

You as consciousness, soul or spirit are the only true source of that energy and information that run your body. Your presence in the body and what you do, eat, drink, feel and think determine how well your genes are able to control and sustain your physical existence. If you (the conscious presence) are no longer present in your body, the energy and information is withdrawn from every cell. We know this to be physical death. Seen from a superficial point of view, you could conclude that death has turned the body into a disordered heap of useless particles. Of course, if you had a wider perspective of death you would be able to see it as the beginning of new life; all the atoms that previously comprised these cells have simply relocated themselves to assemble once again in new forms, such as air, water, soil, plants, fruits, animals or other human beings. Therefore, life does not end with death; only the form changes. Besides, your consciousness remains unaffected by all that, because it is not physical and cannot be destroyed.

Now, if you only partially withdrew your energy and purposeful connectedness (intelligence) from some parts of your body, would those parts not move into disarray and chaotic behavior? This is what medicine calls disease, meaning, you are no longer in ease or alignment with the orderly fashion in which the body normally operates. However, as you will begin to realize, disease is only an illusion of perception. Like death, disease is nothing but the provider of new life. Yet unlike death, disease offers us the opportunity to restore our life while remaining in this physical form. Cancer only strikes when a part or parts of us are not alive anymore, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Cancer can resurrect these numbed, suppressed or congested areas, whether they are physical or non-physical in nature.

The resurrection, which begins with an increased attention to these dead zones of our life, can occur in a number of ways. We may gradually become aware how afraid or negligent we are of a particular body part, the body as a whole, our future or the past, nature, food, other people, the future of our planet, , , etc. Suddenly, we may begin to realize how deeply we have harbored intense negative emotions toward others or us, or we notice why we allowed certain foods, beverages or drugs such as painkillers, steroids and antibiotics to contaminate and congest our beautiful body. Cancer is a wakeup call prompting us to take our life back where it is no more. The alarm bell that sounds to wake us up sounds painfully loud, which is good because we are more likely to respond to physical pain than to emotional pain.

The ‘disease’ cancer occurs only where channels or ducts of circulation and elimination are consistently blocked for a long time. I have dealt with this subject in great detail in my latest book, "Cancer Is Not A Disease - It's A Survival Mechanism". Obviously, there are not just physical causes behind the Cancer phenomenon, and so I have addressed also it's emotional and spiritual causes.

You Are Not Alone

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self.
Aldous Huxley

The last few days I have been running around and as a result, I was very tired. I have been resting and need more rests to prepare for my long journey to US/Mexico.

In the course of the week, I also met two cancer patients. One is a Malay gentleman in his 40s. He has a 10cm left kidney tumor and seems to have spread to the chest. The doctors have recommended surgery and I believe he is now recovering in hospital. It would be good for me to follow up on this case and see how he recovers from the surgery. He is taking the CA Care herbs. The other is a lady from Saudi Arabia, in her 30s. My neighbour has requested me to talk to her about Gerson Therapy. She has breast cancer and have spread to the lungs. Her right hand is swollen and she feels a lot of pain. She has been in Malaysia for four months now and she is all alone. Yes, one person in a far away land and she is dead against surgery and chemotherapy. Yet at the same time she has no idea what alternative therapy to take. Poor women.

Cost Of Treatment @ Gerson Clinic
Some of my friends are wondering how much will I be spending at the Gerson Clinic? Well, to me, the cost seems reasonable considering other forms of alternatives and of course conventional treatment. The clinic charges US$5,500 per week for a minumum of two week's stay. That would mean approximately RM35K for me. Well it's cheaper than Sutent or any chemotherapy. Also cheaper than some of the alternative therapies that I know of. Everything is being provided at the clinic; food, medical, doctors, accomodation and the environment for healing. It's about the same price that I would have to pay for removing my kidney tumor by surgery.

Of course there are other expenses like airfare and personal expenses. Well all in I budgeted for RM50K. It's a lot of money for me but this is also to buy a hope for myself. Gerson Clinic has very good results. My own self administered Gerson Therapy also allowed me to live for about 15 months now, much to my doctors' amazement.

I think many cancer patients have said it and I will not be the last. Cancer treatment is a very expensive especially by conventional means. Alternative therapies is cheaper but then I also know of some alternative therapies that are as expensive as conventional treatment. The more desperate the patient is, the more money he/she will spend.

It's Not That Bad

Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.
Francesca Reigler

I have been doing some thinking about my latest scan results. Not on the good news part but more on the bad news part i.e. my lungs. I still cannot understand why the results is kind of mixed. My homeopathy doctor told me this could be mainly due to the fact that my body is not able to deal with two major tumor sites in the body.

Anyway I will see what the doctors says at the Gerson Clinic. I will wait for their assessment of me and then follow their tailor made program. There one thing that I don't like about the program. I don't like injections. I hate it actually. But it seems I will need to have daily liver and thyroid injections. Needles... Oh, is there another way like taking it orally in a pill form like I do now?

My Diet While Travelling
It is obvious that while travelling I cannot take my normal Gerson diet. Even while travelling to Singapore, I modify my diet temporary. But this time, some of my friends are a little worried what will I be consuming while I am travelling in USA? Well put it this way. I will bring some organic oats and also some rye bread along. But the journey is long and I may run out of my rations by then.

So the next best thing is to go on vegetarian diet. What I will do is probably dilute it with water to remove excess oil and salt before consuming. This is the best I can do under the circumstance. Not eating is NOT an option. It's winter by the way. I will try to spend more time at the Gerson Institute where they also serve Gerson diet food. I have ordered special medical and/or vegetarian food on the plane which is low in salt content.

CA Care Herbs
I started taking CA Care herbs after the August 2010 scan. Now three months later, my kidney tumor seems to have improved but not my lungs. This is the only changes I have made so far. Could the improvement be due to the CA Care herbs? I want to think so. I think Rodent Tuber in particular helped.

Earlier I also took herbs for the liver but now the scans has confirmed that my liver is not infected, I can stop taking the liver herbs. CA Care has two herbs for lung cancer. So far I have been taking only one of the herb and I think I will now start on the other lung herb as well.

I will suspend taking the CA Care herbs while I am away in US and Mexico and will resume when I am back on 23 December 2010.

Health Status @ 27 November 2010

To get up each morning with the resolve to be happy is to set our own conditions to the events of each day. To do this is to condition circumstances instead of being conditioned by them.
Ralph Waldo Trine

New information are presented in italics.

Problem
Tumor mass of size of about 15cm on the right kidney and 21 and 20 nodes all over my left and right lungs respectively with one up to 3cm in size on both lungs. Confirmed that it has not spread to the live. All other organs are also normal.

Latest scan on 26 November 2010 showed slight improvement in the kidney tumor (shrunk from 15cm to 11.4cm) but the nodes on the lungs were also a little larger. In the August 2010 scan, it was the other way around.

X-rays scan on 26 September 2010 over the scapula (the bone of the shoulder), pelvic and upper back areas shows no obvious bony metastasis.

Prognosis
Consulted four urologists (one in Singapore and three in Malaysia) and two oncologists (one in Malaysia and one in Singapore). Both oncologists suggested removal of right kidney. Singapore urologist also suggested removal of kidney. The three urologists do not recommend surgery or chemotherapy. The last urologist consulted said most of his patients died within six months of surgery while two on the expensive (RM20K per month) drug Sutent is not responding. All agree that is no cure for the moment.

My urologist said my cancer is at stage 4 and did not recommend me to take any treatment. It is also my own choice not to take conventional treatment after considering all the facts of the case.

Subsequently during the 1 year review on 2 September 2010, my oncologist in Singapore recommended that I consider:

a. Tumor debulk and
b. Sutent medication or
c. Interferon treatment

MAIN THERAPIES
a. Modified Gerson Therapy
a1. Coffee Enema
Initially, four times a day for four weeks, every four hours apart. Currently two times a day in the morning, afternoon and evening for 15 minutes. Commence castor oil enema from 23 January 2010.

a2. Nutrition Diet
All fruits and vegetables mentioned are organic.
i. Juicing - 11 fruit and vegetables juices a day beginning around 7am and ending 7pm. 5 apple+carrot, 2 carrot and 4 green vegetable juices every hourly. Liver supplements are taken together with carrot juices. Added snake plant leaves to carrot+apple juices.
2. Diet - No oil, no sugar and no salt on all cooking. For breakfast and supper, mainly oats with some raisins, sometimes a little Manuka honey is added. For lunch and dinner, vegetables such as Siew Pak Choy, Lettuce, lady's fingers, cauliflower, broccoli and spinach are mainly steamed or boiled. K-salt is added for flavoring. A teaspoon of flaxseed oil is added when serving (but not during cooking). Mainly boiled potatoes and sometimes Somali organic brown rice is consumed. Hippocrates soup are also prepared every other day for daily consumption.
3. Supplements - K-salt, B12, niacin, lugol solution, pancreatin, pepsin and Q10.
4. Others - Rye bread, papaya, guavas, oranges and bananas are consumed at regular intervals.

b. Homeopathy Medicine
Consulting Doctor: DR AU Ramakrishnan MBBS, PhD, Chennai, India (http://www.drramakrishnan.com/)
Local Consultant: Vishuddi Lee
Treatment Started: 6 November 2009.
Consulting: Once every two months in Singapore. Next appointment 7 January 2011.
Reaction: No further reactions observed other than mouth ulcers every now and then.

c. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
Clinic: CA Care, Subang Jaya Center (http://www.cacare.com/)
Main Consultant: Dr Chris Teo
Treatment Started: 27 August 2010.
Medication: Capsule A+B, 4 capsules 3 time daily. Lungs, liver and kidney herbs to be taken once a day. C-tea to be taken throughout the day.
Reaction: Stomach a little uncomfortable after taking Capsule A and the herbs. Increase frequency in night urine.

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPIES
d. Oxygen Therapy
Started using a personal oxygen generator with effect from 8 March 2010 about 1 hour in the evening, 20 minutes per session. Richer oxygen does help in controlling the growth of the tumors. It also reduces fatigue.

e. Zhineng Qigong
Started practicing qigong on 11 March 2010. Attend classes five times a week from 6.30am to 8am.

Health Status
Many of my friends who saw me said I look thinner but somehow my weight is still around 65.7kg. This week was bad for me in terms of running around. I was all over town doing the visa formalities and also other arrangements. So I did not have proper food and rests. I will try and catch up (if there is such a thing) on my rests this weekend. Before I know it, my mother in law was admitted to hospital and there I was again back in Ipoh. Ok, still got Sunday.

This week I spare you details of my pain.


Verdict
Very tiring week but looking forward to staying at Gerson Clinic.

CT Scan Showed Mixed Results

Think positively and masterfully, with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience.
Eddie Rickenbacker

I have been running around the last two days and this is really bad for me. I have not been drinking my juices and taking food regularly. I think I will take more rests in the weekend.

Update On US/Mexico Trip
Finally managed to get all the formalities done. I will be leaving on 3 December and be back on 23 December. December is the peak season and not a good time to travel. Everything is so expensive!

Update On CT Scan Results
As with previous scans, this scan which was taken yesterday showed mixed results. The last scan was taken three months ago in August 2010.

The good news is that the kidney tumor has shrunk a bit from 15cm x 9.5cm x 12.5cm to 11.4cm x 10.2cm x 10.6cm. The liver is also not infected. All other organs are also normal.

The bad news is the lungs. The lymphnodes below the aoratic arch measures 3cm x 1.9cm subcarnial lymphnode behind the heart measures 3.8cm. At last study it was 3.3cm x 1.8cm and 2.2cm and 2.1cm respectively. Right paravertebral lymphnode at the same level measure 2.9cm. This means that the mediastinal (a non-delineated group of structures in the thorax, surrounded by loose connective tissue) and lymphadenopathy (an enlargement of the mediastinal lymph nodes) have increased in size.

Well still, I am happy because there was good news. I think the CA Care herbs helped. I will be making a small change in the herbs. Instead of taking liver herbs, I will be taking an additional lung herb. The lungs needs more help.

The Long Walk Ahead

Real life is not always going to be perfect or go our way, but the recurring acknowledgment of what is working in our lives can help us not only survive but surmount our difficulties.
Sarah Ban Breathnach

Guys, thanks for your emails, sms and comments on my blogs about getting my US visa. Well, this is the first time I get congratulations for getting into a clinic! Yes, getting there is indeed is a major step for me. It's also my last hope so to speak because I have almost exhausted all means (well surgery is still the final option) to fight this diease. You should know even Gerson Clinic NEVER promised 100% cure. I will leave the statistics out because this is my individual fight.

Today I felt very tired both mentally and physically. I feel very weak and just want to lie down, don't want to do anything. I just want to rest.

CT Scan
Today, I went for an unscheduled CT scan. I thought it would be better to do a scan before I leave for Mexico so that the doctors can have the latest scan reports of my condition.

I had my sister booked the CT scan to be conducted at Tung Shin Hospital. Because my urologist had made a special request to take certain slices of the tumor to see if the tumor has invaded the liver. The CT scanner at Tung Shin was not able to do the job and the radiologist was kind enough to book me a 2pm afternoon appointment at Assunta Hospital. I fasted the morning so that I could take the scans. I quickly had my morning juice and followed by a bowl of oats. Before I could finish, the senior nurse told me that this will be the last meal for me until my afternoon scan! I need to fast for four hours before the 2pm scan.

I went home and took a nap. Before long, time was up and I prepared my juices and oats to take along. I arrived at the hospital just past 2pm and had to complete the formalities of registration. Later I was let to the CT scanner room and was asked to put on the hospital robes to facilitate the scanning. After changing, I felt cold, with so little cloths on. I sat on the bed while waiting for the nurse to attend to me. I was the only patient there and the wait seem to be hours of waiting. I was also very hungry.

The nurse appeared, had me lie on the bed and then attach a clip on my veins of the right hand to facilitate the contrast injection later during the scan. It was the most painful, I think the nurse (sounded Indonesian) was new. After that more waiting. At least this time I had the blanket to help keep the cold away. Finally I was directed to the scanner area. The radiographer had two other nurses attending to me and then explained the protocol to me.

As a slept on the sleeping bay and subsequently being slowly pushed inside the scanner area. The nurse then join the contrast application device to my clip on my hand and went in the control room. Again I waited. This time it seems so long and the scan must have taken at least 15 minutes to complete. That 15 minutes seems forever for me. Previously I think it was all over in 5 minutes. Sleeping under the the Somatron scanner gives me the creeps. As the contrast solution was injected into me, I could feel the warm sensation travelling from my head to toes. I was warned that the side effects could include vomitting, nausea and itchiness.

Well with 6 prior CT scanning experiences behind me, I thought I would have no problems this time. At 4+pm, I experienced itchiness around my neck and I was scratching like crazy. So I decided to leave it alone and soon the itchiness went away.

Well, I could not get the results of my report today because the nurse told me that there were just too many patients and I can only collect tomorrow. It's fine with me because this time, I don't have anymore expectations. Good or bad results does not matter anymore. I just do what I can.

Gerson Clinic, Here I Come!

You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn

I have not set up an Internet connection at my mom's place. So for this period of time, I may miss updating my blog a day or two. I am working on to resolve it.

Last few days, I have been having some adominal pain around the kidney area. While doing my morning enema, I also noticed some discomfort from my lymph node on my left collarbone. It never gave me any problems before. Hopefully it's temporary only. I think I have developed a little swelling on my left side of the neck, close to the thyroid gland. Probably it's nothing.

I make my posting short today.

US And Mexico, Here I Come!
Finally, my US Visa has been granted though only for six months validity. At least I get to go for my treatment. The reason why they would not allow me a longer visa is so I do not burden the US Government in case I fall sick and becomes disabled while in the US.

Now, I just have to confirm the travel arrangements.

Is There An Anti-Cancer Vaccine?

Courage is as often the outcome of despair as hope; in the one case we have nothing to lose, in the other, all to gain.
Diane DePoiters

Many times I find myself in more dispair than hope about my cancer situation. I think this is because my mind is conditioned after years of indoctrination about conventional medicine. To rid myself of these mind imprints takes a lot of work and reminding myself there are other ways of looking at things.

Obviously taking a different approach requires great courage because that path taken in unbeaten. I also get a lot of discouragement and yet at the same time, friends and family members are also not sure whether to give support or not. Whatever it is, it's my life and I should take whatever action deemed necessary for my own salvation. Of course, I will listen to inputs of friends and family members but obviously it is not fair to shift the decision burden to them for my own health failing.

Why Doctors Don't Get Cancer?
I stumbled upon this article posted by Derek Clontz. I am not sure if the doctors elsewhere in the world are able to access the vaccine or not. I know many Malaysian doctors are also now getting cancer.

The whistle blower was Dr Federick X, a highly respected oncologist. Dr. X refuses to reveal his identity or whereabouts fearing what he terms “lethal punishment” from an industry that depends “on large and ever-growing numbers of cancer patients entering the system just to stay in business.”

The doctor himself insists that his statements stand on their own merits. He challenges “anybody, anywhere to prove me wrong.”

He goes on to provide specifics, saying the cancer vaccine was developed simultaneously at federally-funded research centers in Los Angeles and New York in 1967.

A simple and inexpensive ”cocktail” of weakened cancer cells, the vaccine showed such promise that the FDA agreed to forego normal procedure and allow early clinical trials on humans.

Those trials reportedly involved the vaccination of over 500 medical volunteers who were later injected with live, virulent cancers of the type that attack the brain, eyes, spine, colon, kidney, pancreas, liver and lung.

In all but three instances, says Dr. X, the live cancer cells “were destroyed within days.” By early 1969, he adds, “virtually everyone involved in the trials was convinced the vaccine would eradicate cancer for all Americans within a matter of a few years and for every human on earth within a single generation.”

According to Dr. “X”, the results “horrified the cancer industry, which saw its major source of income, its power and tens of thousands of high-paying jobs and careers going down the tubes.”

Under intense and apparently threatening pressure from “major lobbyists and influence peddlers,” he continues, the FDA hastily re-classified the vaccine as unsafe for humans

But cancer researchers knew better, he alleges, and continued to order the vaccine for “experimental use” – a practice that he says continues with the FDA’s nodding but unspoken approval to this day. “That’s why the cancer statistics show that doctors seldom get the disease while ordinary people remain at high risk,” explaines Dr. X. The doctors are taking a so-called ‘experimental’ vaccine that they know to be safe and effective but won’t give to you.

You can read more here.

Breathing Difficulties

Life is not a matter of having good cards, but of playing a poor hand well.
Robert Louis Stevenson

Yesterday my father was doing a small paint job outside the house. However, the smell of the thinner and paint fumes was enough to cause me some breathing problems. Firstly I got itchy reaction and towards later the night, I was having breathing difficulties. I normally take about an hour to finish my evening chant but yesterday night I had to stop and take a break as I was running out of breath so frequently. My lungs just could not cope. I have become very sentitive to environment pollutants.

I still have some reflux problems especially after doing my coffee enema. It also seems to affect my digestion. Of late I am not digesting well.

My physical energy is still weak. Walking up two flight of stairs is the best I could do without stopping for a break. But when I carrying loads, even of about 1-2kgs in weight, then it really becomes tiring.

Remaining Positive
Last Friday, I had a therapy session with Dr Chong at her clinic. She sense from reading my blog that I was lonely fighting this cancer. The session were mainly to reinforce the aspects of remaining positive in everything I do. In order for that to happen, not only positive thinking is important, I must be surrounded with positive people and a positive environment.

I must admit as this fight progresses, I am getting tired physically and mentally. The pain is getting a little more apparent. While remaining positive most of the time is easier said than done, I still continue to watch my mind. Since I started chanting, I think it has helped somewhat calmed my mind. I think the tipping factor is one of pain. If the pain is minimal, then it is very easy to remain in positive territory. But I have not much control over the pain? It just comes although I now know having sufficient rests will certainly help.

Of Hard Beds
I still cannot sleep on "hard" beds. I called them hard (but actually for normal people, it would have been good) because as my buttocks, ribs and back rests on the bed, I feel the pain. I need a very soft layer over the bed.

Now, when I sit or accidentally knock against a table or some hard surface, I easily get injured. The area of my legs and hands would be in pain for a few days. I am now extra careful when I am moving about.

At my oncologist's clinic when I was there the last time, they have started distributing phamplets to cancer patients. It is to advise us not to get hurt from falling (especially in the toilet) and also knocking onto hard surfaces. More so for those who have undergone radiotherapy because the bones would have become very brittle.

Mexico Trip
I will be going to the US Embassy on Wednesday to have my interview. My brother was just had his visa granted on Tuesday told me that it is not going to be easy to get a visa based on what he saw. I think at this moment, I will try my best and if I don't get my visa, I will have to think of other alternatives about my treatment.

Health Status @ 20 November 2010

Everything is material for the seed of happiness, if you look into it with inquisitiveness and curiosity. The future is completely open, and we are writing it moment to moment. There always is the potential to create an environment of blame -- or one that is conducive to loving-kindness.
Pema Chodron

New information are presented in italics.

Problem
Tumor mass of size of about 15cm on the right kidney and 21 and 20 nodes all over my left and right lungs respectively with one up to 3cm in size on both lungs. Possibly also spread to the liver.

Latest scan on 26 August 2010 showed slight improvement and the bigger nodes in my lungs are now smaller. However, the kidney tumor has grown slightly bigger to 15cm.

X-rays scan on 26 September 2010 over the scapula (the bone of the shoulder), pelvic and upper back areas shows no obvious bony metastasis.

Prognosis
Consulted four urologists (one in Singapore and three in Malaysia) and two oncologists (one in Malaysia and one in Singapore). Both oncologists suggested removal of right kidney. Singapore urologist also suggested removal of kidney. The three urologists do not recommend surgery or chemotherapy. The last urologist consulted said most of his patients died within six months of surgery while two on the expensive (RM20K per month) drug Sutent is not responding. All agree that is no cure for the moment.

My urologist said my cancer is at stage 4 and did not recommend me to take any treatment. It is also my own choice not to take conventional treatment after considering all the facts of the case.

Subsequently during the 1 year review on 2 September 2010, my oncologist in Singapore recommended that I consider:

a. Tumor debulk and
b. Sutent medication or
c. Interferon treatment

MAIN THERAPIES
a. Modified Gerson Therapy
a1. Coffee Enema
Initially, four times a day for four weeks, every four hours apart. Currently two times a day in the morning, afternoon and evening for 15 minutes. Commence castor oil enema from 23 January 2010.

a2. Nutrition Diet
All fruits and vegetables mentioned are organic.
i. Juicing - 11 fruit and vegetables juices a day beginning around 7am and ending 7pm. 5 apple+carrot, 2 carrot and 4 green vegetable juices every hourly. Liver supplements are taken together with carrot juices. Added snake plant leaves to carrot+apple juices.
2. Diet - No oil, no sugar and no salt on all cooking. For breakfast and supper, mainly oats with some raisins, sometimes a little Manuka honey is added. For lunch and dinner, vegetables such as Siew Pak Choy, Lettuce, lady's fingers, cauliflower, broccoli and spinach are mainly steamed or boiled. K-salt is added for flavoring. A teaspoon of flaxseed oil is added when serving (but not during cooking). Mainly boiled potatoes and sometimes Somali organic brown rice is consumed. Hippocrates soup are also prepared every other day for daily consumption.
3. Supplements - K-salt, B12, niacin, lugol solution, pancreatin, pepsin and Q10.
4. Others - Rye bread, papaya, guavas, oranges and bananas are consumed at regular intervals.

b. Homeopathy Medicine
Consulting Doctor: DR AU Ramakrishnan MBBS, PhD, Chennai, India (http://www.drramakrishnan.com/)
Local Consultant: Vishuddi Lee
Treatment Started: 6 November 2009.
Consulting: Once every two months in Singapore. Next appointment 7 January 2011.
Reaction: No further reactions observed other than mouth ulcers every now and then.

c. Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM)
Clinic: CA Care, Subang Jaya Center (http://www.cacare.com/)
Main Consultant: Dr Chris Teo
Treatment Started: 27 August 2010.
Medication: Capsule A+B, 4 capsules 3 time daily. Lungs, liver and kidney herbs to be taken once a day. C-tea to be taken throughout the day.
Reaction: Stomach a little uncomfortable after taking Capsule A and the herbs. Increase frequency in night urine.

COMPLEMENTARY THERAPIES
d. Oxygen Therapy
Started using a personal oxygen generator with effect from 8 March 2010 about 1 hour in the evening, 20 minutes per session. Richer oxygen does help in controlling the growth of the tumors. It also reduces fatigue.

e. Zhineng Qigong
Started practicing qigong on 11 March 2010. Attend classes five times a week from 6.30am to 8am.

Health Status
My weight has more or less remained at 65.1kg. Last few days of the week I mainly had some back pain problems around the shoulder blade areas. I also had pain around my waist area which I thihk was due to my new soft bed matress. I need firmer mattresses. The pain around the buttocks and thigh areas are still there.

One way to manage the pain to make sure I have sufficient rests and hopefully now that with my mother helping me, I would be able to get more rests.


Verdict
Minor pain here and there but a very good week.